My Secret, My Bully, My Mates by Miss L

Skylar

Choruses of ‘Sky,” ‘Skylar,” and my various nicknames are being shouted behind me, but they don’t follow.

I don’t know if they are respecting what I want or if Sierra is keeping them back, but I just need to walk away and cool off.

I walk into my back door and through the kitchen straight to my room. I glance at the clock as I go to the bathroom. It’s after midnight, so at least the fight happened after my birthday, technically. I flip on the light and notice I look ridiculous in the mirror.

All my make-up is gone, but streaks of black remain under my eyes from my crying fit earlier, my ponytail is loose and drooping to one side as the ends are still wrapped around my neck like a noose.

My shirt and jeans are a darker color and plastered to my body and dripping from the pool.

I quickly take everything off, dump my clothes in a pile to deal with later, my new jewelry is in a pile on the counter and jump into the shower, feeling really cold all of a sudden.

I let the water get as hot as possible and once I have scrubbed my body until all of the skin is bright red I just let the steam enter my lungs and soothe my muscles and I cry.

I just let out everything I have left. I will lose them, just like I knew I would.

They will hate me for being weakand letting all of this go on for so long.

For lying to them about the whole situation and then yelling at them.

I haven’t been able to find a way to make the bullying stop and any one who has tried to help by going through the right channels, to the “right people have been removed from the school.

Either they transferred or they were suspended and not seen or heard from for weeks and when they come back, they are a completely different person treating me like the problem.

It hurts and it sucks, it’s why I stopped trying to befriend people in the first place.

I allow myself to feel

me, but I’m not sure how

months, months for those guys

a tight web around my heart and tangle to a point where

to let them

this story and it will drive its wedge, secrets always do, and they will walk away from me like every other person who has tried to help. And,

to them as I arn_ It is easier for me to walk away, I have

one person,

out of the, now cold, stream of water, towel off and head

layin bed, I just stare at the ceiling for

going over the whole fight in

the look of disgust at the

just a weak little girl

even take care of a simple bully or, I

knowwho it is who grabs

wolf can’t

I can’t prove anything, which is one of the main

I can usually place it with something she has said earlier in the

all the time, but nothing that would be considered more than teenage girl empty words trying to sound

most people probably think she’s weak, which in a one-on-one fight, I probably could kill her in a matter of

I have no obvious reason to

camera footage at school to try and find me getting pulled into a closet and

good the footage with the attacks on me are