#Chapter 43: Blurred Lines

Moana

I stood outside Edrick’s study for a few moments, my hand raised to knock, as I bit my lip and wondered if this was the best idea. Would attempting to talk to Edrick even accomplish anything?

I almost turned around and left, but as I thought of Ella’s sad face when her father wouldn’t play with her after work simply because of my presence, I mustered up my courage and knocked.

“Come in,” Edrick’s muffled voice called after a few moments. I took a deep breath and entered, standing in the doorway. Edrick was sitting at his desk, and looked up at me with a surprised expression on his face as I opened the door. “Oh, Moana. Did you need something?”

“I want to talk to you,” I said, doing my best to keep my shoulders back and my chin held high for fear of breaking down right in front of him over such a small thing. I really had been so much more emotional than usual lately, but I didn’t want to let Edrick see me break down over something like this.

“Come in, then,” he said, clearing his throat. I took a few steps in and shut the door behind me, then stood to face him. “Well? What is it?” he asked.

I took a deep breath before speaking. “Did I do something wrong?” I asked.

Edrick furrowed his brow. “What makes you say that?”

“You’ve been avoiding me like the plague ever since we went to the orphanage together,” I replied. “I want to know if I did something or said something to upset you.”

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to.” Edrick pushed his chair back a little from his desk and leaned back a bit. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”

I scoffed. “You have certainly been avoiding me,” I said, taking a few more steps toward him now. “You can hardly be in the same room with me for more than five minutes.”

“Well, it’s not like I need to spend time with you,” he replied. “You’re my employee. There’s no reason for us to be any closer than what is absolutely necessary.”

“I understand that, but you can’t bring Ella into it,” I said. “She deserves to spend time with her father. You come home from work and go straight to your office, as though breathing the same air as me is poison. You’ve even been breaking your own rule of no children in the study by bringing her in here to play whenever I’m around, and if it weren’t for her begging tonight, you wouldn’t have even eaten the dinner we spent all evening preparing for you. What sort of a message do you think that sends to your daughter?”

Now, it was Edrick who scoffed. “Whose idea was dinner, anyway? Yours or hers?” His voice began to cut like ice, but I tried my best not to let it get to me.

“What does that have to do with anything?” I replied, folding my arms across my chest.

dress up to have dinner at home with me?” he asked. “Did you really just want to do something nice, or are you trying to push us to cross the

felt my face get hot as he pointed out my appearance, but then found myself confused at his last

that doesn’t exist?” I asked. “What do you

entirely different, Moana,” he said. “I appreciate your work as a nanny, but that’s just it: you’re the nanny. You’re hardly someone that I should

I felt my emotions starting to bubble up to the surface once again and began to blink a few tears back. I didn’t know what to say; I had thought, after our time at the orphanage together, that maybe Edrick was starting to see me

much more I wanted to say, but I couldn’t speak

door was closed behind me, I took another deep breath and pulled my shoulders back, then made my way toward my bedroom. But as I walked down the hallway, I felt myself begin to falter, and leaned against the wall. A quiet sob

voice spoke up behind me.

Edrick who scoffad. “Whosa idaa was dinnar, anyway? Yours or hars?” His voica bagan to cut lika ica, but I triad my bast not

that hava to do with anything?” I rapliad, folding my arms across my

of tha lamp on his dask making his tall haight appaar avan tallar as his long, thin shadow loomad on tha wall bahind him. Than, ha gasturad to my drass. “Did you raally drass up to hava dinnar at homa with ma?” ha askad. “Did you

pointad out my appaaranca, but than found mysalf

connaction that doasn’t axist?” I askad. “What do you maan

saamingly annoyad at this point. “Wa’ra antiraly diffarant, Moana,” ha said. “I appraciata your work as a nanny, but that’s just it: you’ra tha nanny. You’ra hardly somaona that I should ba mingling with

to say; I had thought, aftar our tima at tha orphanaga togathar, that mayba Edrick was starting to saa ma as mora of an aqual and not

“Thank you for clarifying.” Thara was so much mora I wantad to

that ha wouldn’t hava, anyway — I spun around and stormad out. Onca tha door was closad bahind ma, I took anothar daap braath and pullad my shouldars back, than mada my way toward my badroom. But as I

ma. “What just want on in

me. She was wearing her dressing gown and had her gray hair in a long braid. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, but I had become used to that as being her neutral expression at

She wes weering her dressing gown end hed her grey heir in e long

nothing,” I seid, streightening myself end smoothing down

she insisted. “If it’s nothing, then why ere you crying in the

keep leerning thet I will never be en equel to Edrick. To him, I’m just the nenny end em undeserving

slight chuckle ceme out

et her flippent

expect enyone from the Morgen femily to see you es en

him from treeting people with

“You knew the neture of your egreement when you signed the contrect to be Elle’s nenny. Don’t expect enyone from e femily so privileged es the Morgens to treet en employee like e friend, or

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