Chapter-29. The painting

[Xanthea]

"I didn't expect you to visit me again," said the High lady.

"Why not, High lady?" I asked, preparing the color palette, brushes and blank canvas on the over-bed table for her.

She looked into my eyes and then lowered her gaze.

"Well... because of what happened yesterday with Nyssa," she said.

Maybe I knew what she insinuated. She felt bad for her silence when Nyssa lost her temper. Often, silence spoke volumes. And what I heard in her silence was helplessness against the truth.

"She told the truth, didn't she?" I said, forcing a faint smile onto my face. "And I couldn't help but notice the bond you share with healer Nyssa as though she was already a part of your family. And I can see it clearly how much she loves and cares about you."

"She has been a great support ever since I got this disease and she keeps me updated with what's happening in Raven's life ever since they were in the college, so we got close."

I didn't have to force a smile this time.

As I dipped her brushes in the water, I couldn't help but notice the High lady's gaze flickering with a hint of melancholy. It was as if the bristles of the brush held memories that refused to be painted.

High lady peered at me with curious eyes, then she said.

"What Nyssa said was true indeed, but aren't you angry? Resentful? Don't you hate us?" she asked. "Why are you still helping me? Caring about me? Why spend time with me when you know there is nothing I can do for you? Why get close when... you know it's gonna end up cold?"

"Maybe I am doing all this because I know it won't last long," I chuckled softly.

I handed her the brush.

"And... I don't feel cold near you. You've always felt like warm sunlight ever since we met."

She deftly handled the brush with the skill of a professional.

"And I am not doing this because I want something from you, High lady. I am doing this because it makes me happy. And my mother always used to say knowing the harsh truth is always better than being delusional. It helps us accept our reality. And in circumstances when we can't change our situation, we can always change our mindset. I know I can't change my situation, but trust me, you have helped me become a little stronger mentally. So I am grateful, not resentful..." I said.

High lady took a deep breath. Letting out a lingered sigh, she nodded.

"You have a very kind heart, Xanthea and sadly, this place is not for the kind-hearted. You are in the wrong realm. A heart like yours certainly belongs to the celestial realm, but unfortunately, even after your death, you won't be able to go there."

"You humble me, High lady. But if I went to the celestial realm, I wouldn't have met you or Nesryn."

you met us? Us?" she asked with an astonished look. Pouting, I

looked at me with

child. You know that? No mortal has ever

says to always be grateful to the people who make you

broke into a graceful

seems to be

"She indeed was."

"Was?"

right after my birth," I

wondered how I knew what my mother

left behind her words for me in her diary

your life? And here kids who have parents don't wanna listen to a word they say. Life must have been difficult for you without her..." I lowered my head, biting my lower

the infernal realm... then could it be that someday I..." I paused, unsure if what I was about to say would

cycle. We can't keep track of souls that haven't been contracted to us, so we have no way of knowing where your mother's soul is. And your mother died decades ago, so maybe

the happiest and luckiest

for her." I said with a

what you feel, however dark your emotions may

my tears, but couldn't. They reappeared as

my mother's soul after I die." My voice cracked.

feel terrible that I might have unknowingly broken that very meaningful hope of yours. I truly am sorry,"

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I shook my head.

they'll keep a track of you and

they already own my soul," I mumbled to myself, scrubbing

with my feelings. Only once I was a lot calmer did the High lady speak again. "Umm... maybe I think I know what I wish to paint. Do you have your mother's photo?"

of my mother, but it was burned down,"

she looked like? Can you describe her features to me? I'll

brightened

tell me

chuckle made the High lady smile a

at you,"

I held back my

off as a hobby became my profession and my wolf's power," she said. "Wolf's power? Like the demonic ability of your wolf?" I tilted my head. "Like Mavka can sense when I need her, and

reality. There was a point where I had lost my reality to my art and my art was just my illusion. Eventually, my wolf lost the ability to this disease, and I lost the will to wield

nodded, smiling with

at the corner of her right eye... her skin as fair as a swan... oh! And her nose..." The next few hours with the High lady were all about my mother. I never really had a chance to talk about my mother before with anyone so passionately, but now that I did talk about her, she felt a bit more alive within me. After

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