Chapter-52. The embrace

[Xanthea]

A very old memory flashed in my mind at Ezra's question.

I was five-year-old back then and had a caretaker who looked after me. And by looking after, I mean it was her duty to make sure I never crossed paths with luna Meesa and her family. Once, she failed to do her duty, and I began pondering around the Virgo palace. That was when I ended up in the dining hall.

I was hungry, and the table was brimming with delicacies I had never seen before.

Enticed by the food and captivated by their scent, I walked closer to the table. The scents that bewitched my senses that day were quite similar to the scents that surrounded me right now.

Standing on my tiptoes, I gaped at the dishes, my mouth watering. With a hungry gulp, my eyes lit up when they fell on a bear made of pancakes and berries.

I picked a blueberry from the bear pancake and put it in my mouth. I reached out for another one when I felt a sharp sting on the back of my hand. Someone swatted my hand away from the pancake. Before I could withdraw my hand, I felt a rough grip around my wrist and I was thrown on the floor, face-down.

Tears stung into my eyes at the pain. I lifted myself and sat on the floor and just when I turned around to see who it was, a plate shot right past my ear and crashed on the floor.

"How dare you come here!" Luna Meesa snarled, and I froze under her penetrating scrutiny. "Ugh! She's defiled all the food. Where is her caretaker?"

I sat on the floor, trembling as she clutched my upper arm. While she dragged me out of the dining hall, through my blurry vision, I saw the bear pancake lying among the shards of shattered plate and crushed berries on the floor. By then, my caretaker ran to me.

"If I see her anywhere near my family or the dining hall again, I will make sure neither of you ever see daylight again!" Luna Meesa pushed me out of the dining hall. I stumbled, but somehow stopped myself from falling. "It will never happen again, luna," my caretaker said.

"Make sure you give this filth a good lesson about her place in this palace. She should be grateful we give her food and a place to live." Her every word dripped with venom as she glared at me.

A glare that was imprinted on my mind forever, like a nightmare. I had never seen eyes so full of hatred ever again.

"Someone who belongs on the streets is living in the palace. The least she can do is know her limits. Now, take her out of my sight!" Luna Meesa spat.

And that day I learnt the first lesson of my life with every strike of my caretaker's stick; I should be grateful I was given food.

And ever since, I have disliked blueberries and pancakes.

***

Sitting at the same table with the royal family and eating? I smiled at the thought.

I didn't even belong in their dining hall or anywhere near them.

I lifted my eyes to meet Ezra's gaze, but found that all three of them were looking at me, awaiting an answer from me.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I lowered my gaze.

"I preferred eating alone," I mumbled.

Ezra slammed his hand on the table. Flinching, I shut my eyes. His eyes darkened as he clenched his jaws.

"You were never invited, never welcomed, never accepted," Ezra snapped. His words stabbed like daggers in my chest, reopening the wounds that never healed.

I lowered my head, clenching my fists over my thighs, holding myself from falling apart. There was a scream rumbling in my chest and I knew if I spoke a word right now, I would end up crumbling into sobs.

eyes, Xanthea," Ezra commanded. I lifted my gaze to meet his bloodshot eyes.

into my skin as I fought to hold back

but the quiver wasn't far from betraying me. "Alpha... I never had a

brows knit not in anger, but in something I

fist, feeling my heart assault against my

a rough inhale, clenching and unclenching his jaws, looking outside the glass walls at the

of us sat in silence for a while before

can-" I said, getting up

a while, you can allow others to do things for you, right?" Asher

I peered at him.

tip of my tongue,

you do things for

so patient

your silent gestures, the little things you say here and there confuse me. I don't know what to do about things you make me feel or how to stop myself from feeling them. Why are you so... good

my bleary gaze and looked at Raven,

you care, Raven? About

have given me answers to all my questions yet... my heart wants to believe that

Why?

fix my glasses? Why did you bring me clothes I always desired to wear? What selfish reasons did

hurt, Ezra? As though you can feel my pain. As if

why? Why are the three of you doing this to me? Just treat me like you did

excuse myself?"

"Stay here. Stay

"Please," my voice quivered.

here," Raven said in a rough

through my gritted

Ezra said, and I got up and locked myself in the

sink, I splashed water on my face and kept splashing until I was drenched

the mirror, breathing heavily. Tears streamed down my eyes faster than the water

do this to

my breaths. Inhaling deeply through my

of this is yours, Xanthea. Neither their attention, nor their care," I warned myself.

inner lip to stop my chin

pursue my dreams or the faint whispers of

I shouldn't-

Oh goddess!

mouth with my hands, I locked my cries within, bottled up my emotions, swallowed it

But it hurt.

I gasped.

hurt like I was drinking molten glass and it was solidifying and clogging in my chest, shattering within me at the same time. Its shards turned into a storm, stabbing me from within, threatening to tear me apart from the inside. What should I

traveled to my stomach. Gasping, I clenched my belly, sliding down the

I mouthed through my chattering teeth, but no sound escaped my

help,

sound of the running tap and water dripping down the drain and on the marble floor grew louder, drowning away the sound

went numb and the air suffocated my chest. I was drowning. The pain spiked inside me for a few seconds and then vanished all at once. The more I tried to hold on to myself, the more I

felt a gentle grip

voice echoed through me. "It's ok, angel. Everything you feel is valid, and it's not

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