Chapter-55. How long

[Ezra]

"Is she the one? The cat you wanted as your healing partner?"

Xanthea peered at me for a few seconds and then lowered her head.

"N-no. I-I mean, I am excited about my new books." She said, forcing a smile onto her face.

I contemplated her for a while and then let out a sigh.

'... Don't try to attribute characteristics of the living to lifeless objects because if they were to come to life, you wouldn't be able to handle it,' her words replayed in my mind. Fine.

Lifeless object, huh? Let's see if I can or cannot handle a lifeless object coming to life.

Years ago, someone asked me this question, and it changed my entire life. Maybe it was time I passed it on to someone else. "Xanthea..."

She lifted her eyes to mine with slight hesitation and fear.

It was infuriating how she revived the parts of me I had buried long ago. How my heart read her pain like I had been doing it for years.

Sharing this question with her would mean sharing all those aching parts of me, both emotionally and psychologically.

I ran my fingers through my hair, taking in a deep breath.

Everything around us went silent. The market blurred away as I was a lot more aware of our heartbeats and breaths. At that moment, it felt like it was just us standing face to face. Holding her gaze, I asked.

"How long... do you plan to continue living like this?"

She drew in her brows as she widened her eyes slightly.

She remained silent and so did I.

Being alone with one's thoughts is always scary, but that was the only way to fix what's broken inside.

One glimpse in her eyes and it was like I could read her soul through and through. Maybe because once I too had a soul just as shattered, just as broken. And the longer I stared into her eyes, the deeper I drowned into the abyss of my past. So I knew how important it was for her to hear this.

"Isn't it tiring being the same all the time just because you are afraid of how others will react to those changes? How long do you plan to be weak, angel?" I asked, feeling a heavy weight press down on my chest.

Normal people develop coping mechanisms, and then people like us develop surviving mechanisms. But it does us more harm than good, closing us from possibilities of life. And then we look for a solution in others, in time. She took in a deep breath, tensing her body as she shut her eyes.

I stepped closer to her and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from caressing her cheek.

"Your life has changed now. And with us as your husbands, it will never be the same again. I know life with us might not be better than your previous one, but hey! It can't get any worse. For better or for worse, we'll be around and no one's worse than us."

Biting her quivering lips, she held back her tears and laughter. She turned around, swiftly wiping off her tears.

I stepped closer to her, wrapping my arm across her heaving chest as I hugged her from behind.

gave her time to settle

sorry..." her voice cracked with the weight of her emotions and I knew she wasn't apologizing

gulp, I

"It's ok," I said.

the cruelty we inflict upon ourselves is

the one? The cat you want as your healing partner?" I asked, turning her around

nodded. "Yes,"

you are ready to be her healing partner?"

fingers into fists by her side and shook her

Grimbooks and try to decipher why you aren't ready for her,"

she strolled beside me, both of us looking around at the other shops, but our attention

Why do you think Raven asked you to stay away from your

thought for a while

she said. "Last time when Zosha's powers went out of control..." she told me the entire incident that happened in the forests near

you think of Raven's decision after recalling what happened?" I

he was right. More rational," she said. "But sometimes it's not about taking the fastest and safest path. Difficult paths are often the ones that lead

enough to tread on those

in a

your path's

the healer course with another healing

for Zosha, you'll have to become stronger. But remember, before protecting anyone else, you must be capable enough to protect yourself. Before changing others,

book? Don't forget to visit 00005s.org for the full experience. You won't find the next chapter anywhere

at

Every way. And I have realized that knowledge is not everything, and I don't even have that kind of knowledge...

mortal, you have your limitations. A lot of them. But limitations are not weaknesses; they are your guide. They are like the levels that you need to cross to upgrade

silently questioned whether my words were making sense. Or was I in my journal-mode where

when he is not around. You see, Raven isn't someone to easily show what's truly on his mind. His words often come out stingy and rude, more like a murder threat. But let's not forget he is a healer at heart. And I can tell, when he asked you to stay away from that cat, forget about his reasons. He was trying to

she fidgeted with her fingers, nibbling

yourself if things go wrong like the other day. You'll have to show him you can handle Zosha and her powers as a mortal without risking your life. All I can do is

again, and I saw something tender.

your kind of strength, formulate a plan to cross your limitations. Because... healing partners can change even after college starts," I said, pointing towards the biggest bookstore in the Infernal realm, Grimbooks. "I can buy you stuff that can help you upgrade, but the rest is

and this time, when she smiled, it looked a little more

ask

"Go on."

didn't want me to... enroll in Helxton, so why

halted at her words. I looked at her with a

with you. Helping you is totally selfish. Don't catch

up her cheeks,

I do

steps,

I chuckled, following her.

***

books while Xanthea wandered among the life-sized anatomical models from all weird angles, drawing in attention and chuckles

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