Chapter-72. Not the same

[Xanthea]

The haze of the heat clouding my mind cleared away. My body felt a lot fresher and rejuvenated. And it was now I understood why people said sex was the best cure for heats.

Despite my body feeling more alive than ever, a sharp soreness tightened in my muscles. I could barely keep up with Asher's ferocity. Pleasure diffused into a trail of burning pain and numbness, especially in my legs and hips. There was no point in asking him to stop or slow down; I could feel him grow harder inside me with each breathless moan that died between our intertwined lips.

Was it normal for a man to have such a primal, almost beastly reaction to heat?

I knew men went out of control near a woman in heat, but did all of them experience such raw, untamed, and overwhelmingly carnal hunger?

Or was Asher different, his need more uncontrollable, more insatiable? This wasn't the first time we had sex, so I knew Asher could control himself better. It just felt as if he didn't want to anymore.

Maybe it had nothing to do with my heat at all. Maybe it was this dark, suffocating room, drawing out Asher's deepest, darkest desires, and my body was just too weak to contain his profound lust.

Or perhaps it was the blend of both - the heat and the darkness - combining to create an experience so intense, so consuming, that my mind struggled to endure the reality.

Asher kept fucking me with the same ruthless vigor. My mind could no longer decipher if it hurt bad or good. But it hurt. Slowly, I felt myself detach from my body, unable to endure the sensations any longer. And my mind wandered, desperately seeking an escape, trying to understand the origin of it all.

What had triggered him? I contemplated, and after what felt like forever, I kept returning to the same conclusion.

All of this began with a question: what does love feel like?

That's where it all started, and I wondered if that's where it would all end. Perhaps if I answered his question, he would stop. I had to take my chances.

"Asher... let me do it... let me... please you," I slid my palm around his nape as he covered my neck with love bites, clearly obsessed with the idea of leaving his mark there someday. Or perhaps, conflicted.

He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me against his chest, making me straddle his hips. My nails dug into his shoulders as he thrusted deeper, hitting a spot in the depths of my core that sent an electric thrill zapping through my body.

My insides tightened around him, and he let out a throaty grunt.

His breaths were labored, uneven, and strained against mine as I began riding him at my pace.

I ran my fingers through his sweaty hair and down his ripped body. Licking my dry lips, I buried my face in his neck and bit him.

He hissed, letting out a satisfactory groan.

"Asher... can we-"

Before I could ask if we could take a break so I could answer his question, he hugged me, burying his face between my breasts. "Can we stay like this forever?" His words took me off guard.

"Uh-"

"Do we really need to go back?" he mumbled softly. "Can the time just stop right now? And can we just freeze in it together?" I blinked, my heart racing faster.

"Being with you like this makes me wonder if this is what home feels like," he spoke against my breastbone and my smile faltered.

"Does this place feel like home to you?" I asked, feeling my heart tighten with guilt.

"You... feel like home to me," he said, and my heart skipped a beat, my chest filling with warm flutters.

I bit my lower lips, my body tensing up.

All of this might be overwhelming for me, but from the serenity in his tone and the vulnerability in his body and words, I could tell he found this peaceful.

stay here a little

my words and allowed myself to please him. His thrusts turned softer, their intensity mellowing. They became much more endurable now that I knew how I made him feel. "Being the alpha of the Infernal pack must be

worth telling in my story. It's more or less like this room. There's nothing to see

see, yet so much to feel,"

it is because

with me?" I asked, blanketing my arms

it working?"

into

room is fucking with my mind, otherwise it wouldn't

him place his palm under my ear.

"Yes, husband?" I smiled.

serious tone.

into my eyes. Blinking fast, I shook my

are hurting,"

"N-no. I am not..."

know there's something you want to tell me. What is it?" "Nothing,

the truth even before you say it. So please,

a deep breath and stopped moving my hips

you remember what I said on our nuptial night after winning your first game?" I

of silence

night." Asher repeated what I said that night, word for word, his voice raw with reminiscence. I widened my eyes, peering into the veil of darkness that hid him from my vision. It took me a while to

me, I continued, "that's my answer to your question. That's what I fantasize love

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withdrew

you can respect someone and not be in love with them, but you can't love someone and not respect them. Love is respect, sacrifice,

took a deep breath as he pulled out of me and I felt

silent, but I

small gestures that go unnoticed by others, I notice. The way you care, the way you are. That's what love might feel like... for love is not in the grand gestures of 'I-love-yous', it's in the small

right now, it doesn't feel the same, does it?" he said. "I don't feel the same. I am not the

feeling the churn in my stomach weaken

here because you realized this place meant something to me. But that didn't make it any less unbearable for

fingers, I remained silent. I didn't know what to say when that was precisely

when my body finally left all contact with him,

a second, he held my shaking hands

felt a fabric embrace my upper body as he draped his shirt over my shoulders. We remained silent as he

Xanthea," he said in a humbled tone. "I was

held my hands tighter

But I promise you it will never happen again. I promise... you'll never see me this naked again. But thank you for defining love for me. And thank you for staying here, by

I was slowly losing my grip and he

knit my brows, feeling the weight of his words settle gravely in my

head urging me to hug him, as if embracing him might prevent something from falling apart. But I couldn't because he

if something was shattering and I couldn't

exactly. It was a stifling feeling in my chest that got worse when Asher kissed my forehead. But the problem

touch was gentle again, his presence comforting like it used to be

his arms. It

could gather myself and ask what his words meant, a sharp

did something strange to my brain, and a forgotten drunken

pitch black, mirroring the darkness of the dark room. All I could see in it were the glowing light gray eyes gazing at me warmly, while the rest was just the sensation of a man's touch all over my body. I felt paralyzed as the

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