Chapter-72. Not the same

[Xanthea]

The haze of the heat clouding my mind cleared away. My body felt a lot fresher and rejuvenated. And it was now I understood why people said sex was the best cure for heats.

Despite my body feeling more alive than ever, a sharp soreness tightened in my muscles. I could barely keep up with Asher's ferocity. Pleasure diffused into a trail of burning pain and numbness, especially in my legs and hips. There was no point in asking him to stop or slow down; I could feel him grow harder inside me with each breathless moan that died between our intertwined lips.

Was it normal for a man to have such a primal, almost beastly reaction to heat?

I knew men went out of control near a woman in heat, but did all of them experience such raw, untamed, and overwhelmingly carnal hunger?

Or was Asher different, his need more uncontrollable, more insatiable? This wasn't the first time we had sex, so I knew Asher could control himself better. It just felt as if he didn't want to anymore.

Maybe it had nothing to do with my heat at all. Maybe it was this dark, suffocating room, drawing out Asher's deepest, darkest desires, and my body was just too weak to contain his profound lust.

Or perhaps it was the blend of both - the heat and the darkness - combining to create an experience so intense, so consuming, that my mind struggled to endure the reality.

Asher kept fucking me with the same ruthless vigor. My mind could no longer decipher if it hurt bad or good. But it hurt. Slowly, I felt myself detach from my body, unable to endure the sensations any longer. And my mind wandered, desperately seeking an escape, trying to understand the origin of it all.

What had triggered him? I contemplated, and after what felt like forever, I kept returning to the same conclusion.

All of this began with a question: what does love feel like?

That's where it all started, and I wondered if that's where it would all end. Perhaps if I answered his question, he would stop. I had to take my chances.

"Asher... let me do it... let me... please you," I slid my palm around his nape as he covered my neck with love bites, clearly obsessed with the idea of leaving his mark there someday. Or perhaps, conflicted.

He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me against his chest, making me straddle his hips. My nails dug into his shoulders as he thrusted deeper, hitting a spot in the depths of my core that sent an electric thrill zapping through my body.

My insides tightened around him, and he let out a throaty grunt.

His breaths were labored, uneven, and strained against mine as I began riding him at my pace.

I ran my fingers through his sweaty hair and down his ripped body. Licking my dry lips, I buried my face in his neck and bit him.

He hissed, letting out a satisfactory groan.

"Asher... can we-"

Before I could ask if we could take a break so I could answer his question, he hugged me, burying his face between my breasts. "Can we stay like this forever?" His words took me off guard.

"Uh-"

"Do we really need to go back?" he mumbled softly. "Can the time just stop right now? And can we just freeze in it together?" I blinked, my heart racing faster.

"Being with you like this makes me wonder if this is what home feels like," he spoke against my breastbone and my smile faltered.

"Does this place feel like home to you?" I asked, feeling my heart tighten with guilt.

"You... feel like home to me," he said, and my heart skipped a beat, my chest filling with warm flutters.

I bit my lower lips, my body tensing up.

All of this might be overwhelming for me, but from the serenity in his tone and the vulnerability in his body and words, I could tell he found this peaceful.

could stay here

that thought, I held back my words and allowed myself to please him. His thrusts turned softer, their intensity mellowing. They became much more endurable now that I knew how I made him feel. "Being the alpha of the Infernal pack must

more or less like this room.

so much to feel," I

it

blushed. "Are you trying to flirt with me?"

working?" he asked

into

with my mind, otherwise it wouldn't have worked," I smirked,

place his palm under my ear.

"Yes, husband?" I smiled.

he said in a serious

my eyes. Blinking fast, I shook my head, lowering my eyelids. "P-pretending?

you are hurting," he

"N-no. I am not..."

lips. "I know there's something you want to tell me.

can tell a lie from the truth even before you say it. So please,

breath and stopped moving my hips

you remember what I said on our nuptial night after winning your first game?" I

moment of silence before

love to me like you would to the woman you love and respect to someone you'd never hurt. That's what you said that night." Asher repeated what I said that night, word for word, his voice raw with reminiscence. I widened my eyes, peering into the veil of darkness that hid him from my vision. It took me a while to come to

me, I continued, "that's my answer to your question. That's what I fantasize love

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hand withdrew from my

in real life. And I figured out that you can respect someone and not be in love with them, but you

out of me and I felt his cum slither down between my

I knew I had his

the moment we met. Every small thing you do, all your small gestures that go unnoticed by others, I notice. The way you care, the way you are. That's what love might feel like... for love is not in the grand gestures of 'I-love-yous', it's in the small but genuine

I am not the same. Right now, you wish I went back to being the Asher I

weaken

because you realized this place meant something to me. But that didn't make it any less unbearable for you. Did

know what to say when that was precisely how I

my body finally left all contact with him, I felt an unfathomable restlessness

my empty surroundings with my hand. Within a second, he held my shaking hands

over my shoulders. We remained silent as he helped me wear

in a humbled tone. "I was exceedingly selfish tonight. I

held my hands tighter

want you to know that... tonight meant a lot to me. But I promise you it will never happen again. I promise... you'll never see me this naked again. But thank you for defining love for me. And thank you for staying here, by my side, longer than you could. It will be enough

hands tightly, but it seemed as though I was slowly losing my grip and he

my brows, feeling the weight of his words settle gravely in my

to hug him, as if embracing him might prevent something from falling apart.

as if something was shattering

worse when Asher kissed my forehead. But the problem was, everything was fine

touch was gentle again, his presence comforting like it

restlessness in my chest got worse when he picked me in his arms. It almost felt like every emotion I was

gather myself and ask what his

did something strange to my brain, and a forgotten drunken dream replayed

the dark room. All I could see in it were the glowing light gray eyes gazing at me warmly, while the rest was just the sensation of a man's

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