Offered to the Triplet Alphas

Chapter-75. I am fine

[Ezra]

I still remember the first time Asher visited the Aile castle after his long absence. He came to us with his brand new toys.

'I didn't unbox them. I thought we could play with them together,' Asher said.

I don't remember if Asher said that with a smile or not, because I was busy observing his eyes that looked dull, tired and pained, as if he had not slept for months. Something Raven failed to notice beyond himself.

'Huh! Show off!' Raven scoffed. 'Trying to act all cool, showing off your petty toys after becoming father's favorite? But let me tell you one thing, Asher: you didn't work for any of this. You don't deserve them. You got it all for free. In fact! You stole all this from us. And we don't talk to thieves!'

Raven smacked the toys from Asher's hands, grabbed my hand, and pulled me away with him.

I had a choice back then: I could have stayed behind and collected those broken toys with Asher, or I could have ignored him.

To this day, I regret the choice I made that day. It was probably then that Asher realized he was all alone, because after that, he never came to us again.

We began ignoring Asher even when he came home for his rare visits, making him feel like something was wrong with him when everything was wrong with us.

We thought Asher was having an easy life, not even realizing that his life was the hardest.

Asher was born perfect - I still loathe myself for believing those words back then.

The pressure on Asher was far more than any of us.

I understood it when Asher visited the Aile castle again and was spending time with mother.

'No! You can't be yourself! No one will accept you as you are. You are my last hope, Asher. Don't disappoint your father. You can't be anything less than perfect. You'll have to change. Why don't you understand?'

I heard mother's trembling voice and when I peeped inside; I saw her grabbing Asher's upper arms, her claws digging into his skin. Blood stained his shirt as he stood impassively before her.

I still can't decide if what I saw that day was a horror or something insignificant because I remember Asher looking into our mother's tearful eyes with blank eyes, as if hope could never touch them again.

When mother realized she had hurt Asher, she fell to her knees and hugged him tightly. The same thing she did with me.

'You'll have to change. You'll have to keep on changing, adapting differently for different people. You'll have to understand their minds, their thoughts, their emotions. Please, son. You'll have to save us. You'll have to do better. Ok? You'll have to become perfect, just the way your father wants. Become the perfect alpha. Maybe then he'll hurt us less. Please hide our failure with your success. Please, son.'

On every visit to the castle, Asher was burdened more and more with my mother's words, our father's increasing expectations, and our insensitivity.

Ever since, he had been shouldering everything himself and every time I recall his childhood, I can't help but wonder how lonely he must have been.

was too. But since he had to mature before his age because he had

a little when Raven had his immortal

too, but it was an intimate, family-only

prove to father that he was much better than

cover the gap between them, but Asher was far ahead of him. There was no catching up with him. Raven kept trying, regardless. He couldn't beat Asher at the big tasks and trainings father planned for them,

had crafted for Asher, but he kept getting hurt and eventually he gave up. He understood he could

Asher remained. Although I don't think Asher ever considered

unknown origin. His condition deteriorated, and

over as the Alpha of our

family from afar,

priority, even when he was dealing with the pack

me with kindness, even when I

already too late and Asher was far out of my reach. Only when the things got a bit more stable did I have the courage to ask Asher if we could share his Alpha duties. Asher being Asher agreed

wasn't enough to redeem myself, but something was better than nothing. Even if I could share a

knew he would never do that for himself. I did it out of respect for him and perhaps out of guilt. Also, because we had always taken from him and I feared that one

father was cursified and totally succumbed to the curse, the curse remained dormant for a while and then we began showing symptoms. It was then we found out that the curse father suffered from was

what

father when I saw him suffer day and night in agonizing

into pieces, I would keep the suffering part all for myself. I

his best to find a better way out of this curse, but dealing with a malignant wordless curse

in its horrifying form was getting closer. And when that happens,

to us with ways to soothe our pain and tell us that everything was fine. He would say he was fine. And

***

Just like right now.

to read his silence, I would have almost believed him when he

"I am fine, Ezra."

smiled and nodded

word with a meaning more complex to decipher than the most sophisticated poetry ever written. It could mean so much and nothing at the same time. It could hold and hide traumas while also reflecting a

lie people often told themselves before anyone else when

on his shoulder. "If you are fine, then I don't think you should have a problem going back to Xanthea because she is not fine. She is hurting and not

his eyes, taking a deep

You said you were fine, so get the hell up and go

his voice

in front of him and looked him in his

"With those people, you can be your worst and still become a better person. I don't know if I'm one of those

though I