Chapter-75. I am fine

[Ezra]

I still remember the first time Asher visited the Aile castle after his long absence. He came to us with his brand new toys.

'I didn't unbox them. I thought we could play with them together,' Asher said.

I don't remember if Asher said that with a smile or not, because I was busy observing his eyes that looked dull, tired and pained, as if he had not slept for months. Something Raven failed to notice beyond himself.

'Huh! Show off!' Raven scoffed. 'Trying to act all cool, showing off your petty toys after becoming father's favorite? But let me tell you one thing, Asher: you didn't work for any of this. You don't deserve them. You got it all for free. In fact! You stole all this from us. And we don't talk to thieves!'

Raven smacked the toys from Asher's hands, grabbed my hand, and pulled me away with him.

I had a choice back then: I could have stayed behind and collected those broken toys with Asher, or I could have ignored him.

To this day, I regret the choice I made that day. It was probably then that Asher realized he was all alone, because after that, he never came to us again.

We began ignoring Asher even when he came home for his rare visits, making him feel like something was wrong with him when everything was wrong with us.

We thought Asher was having an easy life, not even realizing that his life was the hardest.

Asher was born perfect - I still loathe myself for believing those words back then.

The pressure on Asher was far more than any of us.

I understood it when Asher visited the Aile castle again and was spending time with mother.

'No! You can't be yourself! No one will accept you as you are. You are my last hope, Asher. Don't disappoint your father. You can't be anything less than perfect. You'll have to change. Why don't you understand?'

I heard mother's trembling voice and when I peeped inside; I saw her grabbing Asher's upper arms, her claws digging into his skin. Blood stained his shirt as he stood impassively before her.

I still can't decide if what I saw that day was a horror or something insignificant because I remember Asher looking into our mother's tearful eyes with blank eyes, as if hope could never touch them again.

When mother realized she had hurt Asher, she fell to her knees and hugged him tightly. The same thing she did with me.

'You'll have to change. You'll have to keep on changing, adapting differently for different people. You'll have to understand their minds, their thoughts, their emotions. Please, son. You'll have to save us. You'll have to do better. Ok? You'll have to become perfect, just the way your father wants. Become the perfect alpha. Maybe then he'll hurt us less. Please hide our failure with your success. Please, son.'

On every visit to the castle, Asher was burdened more and more with my mother's words, our father's increasing expectations, and our insensitivity.

Ever since, he had been shouldering everything himself and every time I recall his childhood, I can't help but wonder how lonely he must have been.

before his age because he

changed a little when Raven had

a party for Raven too, but it

back and prove to

regardless. He couldn't beat Asher at the big tasks and trainings father planned for them,

getting hurt and eventually he gave up. He understood he could no longer please our father by reaching the standards Asher had already crossed, so he

craving father's attention, but his bitterness for Asher remained. Although

to a mysterious curse of unknown origin. His condition deteriorated, and he became incapable of running

finally took over as the

often unavailable. Eventually, he stopped coming home. He took care of our family from afar, yet whenever we needed him, he stood by us like an

priority, even when he was dealing with the pack

with kindness, even when I had failed him

for everything I did to him or things I didn't do for him. And when I wanted to do something for him, it was already too late and Asher was far out of my reach.

was better than nothing. Even

of respect for

and totally succumbed to the curse, the curse remained dormant for a while and then we began showing symptoms. It was then we found out that the

fear enduring what

for my father when I saw

into pieces, I would keep the suffering part all for myself. I don't want to see Asher or Raven undergo such immense,

trying his best to find a better way out of this curse, but dealing with a malignant wordless curse was difficult even for dragons - world's

when the curse would fully activate and manifest in its horrifying form was getting closer. And when that happens, there might not be an

most was that one day, when Asher would be hurting deeply, he would come to us with ways to soothe our pain

***

Just like right now.

to read his silence, I would have almost believed him when he

"I am fine, Ezra."

smiled and nodded softly, letting the silence

most sophisticated poetry ever written. It could mean so much

before anyone else

"If you are fine, then I don't think you should have a problem going back

his eyes, taking a deep

so get the hell up and go to her. Talk to her and hear what she has

raised his voice and

walked in front of him and looked

all your flaws and imperfections." I said. He looked at me, his brows drawing together slightly. "With those people, you

as though I had said something I wasn't supposed

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