Offered to the Triplet Alphas

Chapter-104. Faith

[Xanthea]

A shroud of darkness enveloped me as his wings wrapped around us in an embrace that had never felt so hollow and full at the same time.

My entire existence had abruptly been reduced to a body.

My body felt alien. A hollow shell that carried my mother's sins in every fiber. I wanted to rip myself apart, strand by strand, and take my mother out of me.

But if I did that, what would be left of me?

Nothing mattered. Not my beliefs, not my identity, not my dreams.

Everything I thought I was - was a lie.

I shut my eyes, feeling Asher's hips pressed firmly into mine. His hardness against my arousal brought me a realization and acceptance - the truth that was shouted on my face several times and I refused to accept it.

'You are our breeder and your job is to give us triplets within a year. Nothing more and nothing less. You fail at your job, we discard you. Our relationship is as simple as that.'

Raven's voice echoed in my mind, stopping my desperate search for self within this body.

'Your only role in this family is as a breeder, for my sons will never see you as anything more than that.'

'I hope my brothers have drawn clear lines of your relationship with them, right? You are just a breeder for them...'

'Telling her the difference between being a lowly breeder and a luna.'

The voices of the High Lady, Nesryn, and Nyssa rang mercilessly in my mind, their words tearing through me - until Ezra's voice washed over it all, numbing me completely. 'Don't forget, she is our breeder and her only job is to bear our kids...'

That's what I was all along. A vessel, not to bear kids out of motherhood and affection, but to atone for guilt and shame.

That had been my identity from the moment I was born - and even that, it seemed, was more than I deserved.

I am have always been - and will always be a redemption for my mother and a breeder-

Before the loops of my thoughts could take me any deeper into the rabbit hole, Asher's grip on my arms tightened, saving me before I could sink any deeper into myself and never return.

His hand settled over my chest, his palm steady against my racing heart. The turmoil within me faltered, replaced by an unfamiliar serenity, like the first breath after drowning.

I took in a shivering breath, holding back my tears.

For a few seconds, I doubted if I deserved to feel this, but those doubts vanished, along with every other anxious thought, as soon as Asher pressed his forehead against mine.

The weight of emotions crushing my soul began to lift, leaving behind a soft ache that melted into something lighter - freer.

His nose slowly glided over mine, and I leaned in, drawn to his calm. With each nuzzle, each gentle nudge, I felt the ice freezing my chest thaw, drop by drop and I didn't even realize when my pain had turned into soothing flutters. Although this was the first time I was experiencing something so transcendental, this feeling wasn't new. I had felt this connection before - in half-remembered dreams and fleeting memories of my heats.

Asher had soothed the pain of my heats before. He helped me find home in the darkness. But right now, his soothing gestures just added to the restless anxiousness tightening in my chest.

I was shattering in every way, from every direction, all at once-like a sandcastle crumbling beneath relentless waves. Asher didn't try to hold me together; instead, he made it easier, less painful, to fall apart.

I tipped my quivering lips toward his. Our lips barely touched, hesitant, as though testing the fragile boundary between restraint and surrender.

His touch no longer felt like an assertion of dominance meant to demean my body. It was more a submission from his body to mine, and that unsettled me to the core.

my skin at his touch, as though my body were the black, blank night sky

paths down my cheeks, every inch of my body breaking into a pleasure and pain so entangled I couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. Even though I knew that something as beautiful as this shouldn't be

Asher offered, or the desperate need to hide my tears and emotions from him. But I wrapped my arms around his neck, arching my body against his firm muscles, deepening the kiss with a futile hope of finding peace - even if only for a

tears as his palms cupped my face

hard, feeling our shaky breaths

ok to fall apart,"

not in your arms,

thoughts clashing frantically. I clenched my

do this to yourself, Xanthea," he

choked, my voice trembling. "Stop trying to

save you. I am just trying to

"Why!?"

my gritted teeth, trying to create whatever distance between

are you trying to own what you don't deserve? This pain is mine. This

"And so am I..."

stopped at his words, reviving

I not yours? Are you not

into my eyes as my mind scrambled for words

"I don't deserve you, or your comfort. The only thing

heavily as though he was terrified of my words. "I know

the last restraint, pushing

me

fractured yell, breaking beneath the

am..." My voice faltered, my gaze drifting to

the way you do... I don't want to know it at all. If you're not love, then nothing

about me?" I snapped, my heart pounding, daring him

"I know you

trying to shake off

bitterness of a truth too raw to admit fully. "It makes us worship those who don't deserve our blind faith. You shouldn't

what should I do,

fists, the storm inside

ME! YOU SHOULD HATE ME! You should despise the mere sight

really what

now, your love is hurting me more than your hatred ever

down my body, releasing both of us from the comfort of darkness. As he withdrew himself from me, his

Not because his aura had turned heavier, nor because I could feel his gaze searing into my soul, but because I was terrified.

of us to breathe.

my lips together, blinking

she left the Infernal realm to hide herself amongst the mortals," he said in a silent, calm tone. "And these were her exact words - 'I'll create a cure. When the time is right, you will find her. The cure will heal all that's broken. You'll know it's her when you meet her, until then

body tensed up. I didn't want to hear a word more about my mother, but a word about her was enough to

the condition that I let her leave the Infernal pack. Once the rumors about the forced activation of immortality genes in a weak blood spread, Infernal Alphas and Celestials were all looking for her.

over his shoulder and I quickly dropped

across the three realms, and she used that distortion in time to hide from me and everyone else." "Time

mortal realm, she deliberately traveled back in time and hid in the past, while everyone searched for her in the present. I only realized it when I found you. Your mother ensured the events of past and present intertwined so that by the time I discovered you, you'd be mature enough to bear the weight of her responsibilities. But in doing so, she made

was enough to twist my insides with

hours, eighteen minutes, and thirty-nine seconds," he

to absorb the gravity of his

me. I just knew that's how long he waited for me, searched for me, believing in my existence, perhaps even before I