Chapter 21: Crying in pain

I wish that you could see the pain that I've seen and all of the times I spent being not me. I hope you know that it's not always happy in my head 'cause I don't know the perfect road to go down. But I know I'm trying my best, I'm trying my best to be okay, I'm trying my best but every day it's so hard. And I'm holding my breath, I'm holding my breath 'till I can say all of the words I wanna say from my heart~~~

-Anton Seabra-

"Ahhh..."

I was woken up by the strange sounds that I didn't know where it came from.

Crunching my forehead, I got up and checked the time from the small alarm clock near my bed... it's 2:30 in the morning.

"Ahhh... oh, my God!"

I heard it again. I blinked repeatedly as it got louder that I was fully awake. It took me a few seconds before I finally understood what those strange sounds were and where it was coming from. It's a woman's voice... "Oh, my God, babe!"

... from my husband's room.

My heart began to beat faster with the things that came across my mind. I just hope that I was wrong. I decided to get up and walked in tiptoed to the connecting door of our rooms. Holding my breath, I put my ear near the door to confirm if what's running in my head was true. "Ohh... you're doing great babe."

And that's it! A loud gasp escaped from my lips as my tears started to fall on my face. I covered my mouth to prevent the choking sobs that bubbled in my throat,, but I failed, so I added my other hand. "H-How dare you? How d-dare and you do this to me?" I asked bitterly between my sobs.

And even though the sounds and thoughts almost made me lose my mind, I don't know but in a few seconds, I just found myself grabbing the door handle. I opened it enough, enough to see what's happening inside and what I saw broke my heart and soul into million pieces.

Two figures were both naked on the bed, groaning and panting and one of them was my husband. I don't know who the girl was, but I'm sure she's not Cherry. She has her legs spread over Luke's waist as he moved fast and hard on top of her in which she returned it with loud and noisy moans. The two were drenching on their own sweats but it seemed that it wasn't in their mind as they continued to share and bind each other's body. Now I understand what hell was he was talking about.

I closed my eyes and so the door tightly. I couldn't stand it anymore to watch him or watch them do that kind of immorality. I don't know how to explain the hurt and pain creeping in me as the scene of him on top of her kept dancing in my head. I couldn't stop the tears no matter how I tried to wipe them, it seemed like a river, streaming endlessly in my face.

How would you feel if you found out that your husband is cheating on you? It hurts, doesn't it? But how would you feel if you saw him having sex with someone right in front of your eyes? He's fucking someone in his room and he purposely doing it to hurt you?

I felt numb and I don't know how to move from my spot. I didn't know he was able to do such a thing because he wasn't the Luke I knew based on Dale's story. Yeah, he's right, I underestimated him.

crawled back to bed, took the pillow and covered it to my ears, but it's useless as I can still

out of my head and please

deep down I wished this was just a dream or a nightmare that I would wake up tomorrow and that somehow I would forget everything that happened just like the other dreams that I forgot every

the other side of the door stop as I ran to the bathroom and sat on the bathtub. I was about to fill it with water but I immediately stopped when I remembered I was pregnant. And the tears never

I leaned on the other side and placed my hands on my

change everything I've done. Or I wish I had a magic wand so I could make your dad love me and stop hurting me. If only then I had a magic mirror that can see

not only in my body but also in my heart, I didn't notice that my eyes were

I glanced at the doorknob, but I took a step back before I could find myself opening it again. Looking in the mirror, I noticed the slight swelling of both my

that it shocked her for

in

"Thanks."

headed fast towards the kitchen. And there he is, enjoying his breakfast. I looked around hoping to see the woman he was fucking last night, but I guess he's alone. "How dare you, Luke Marcuz Williams!" I shouted, taking the spoon and fork

was shocked for a moment but immediately got

problem, woman? Why did

You

hell are you talking about?" He stood

the audacity to deny it, huh? Where is she? Where is the woman you're fucking last night?" I screamed,

sex last night." He smirked. "So how did you feel when you saw

him in the eyes,

was just starting to show you what I promised, sweetheart and I'll make sure you will feel the

doing this? Why do you want to make

baby in your drama, slut!" He whispered-yelled, but his last word seemed like a bursting sound to my ears and I couldn't help gritting

just call me a slut?"

night

to continue what he was saying as a loud, stinging slap reached his face. He clenched his jaws and looked at me as if I were his prey and that he's ready to attack me at any moment, but I pretended not to be afraid. "Don't you ever use that

pushed me to the counter. His face was just a few inches away from me as he spoke. "The hell I care! How would I know if I

my lips. "Or else what---are you gonna kill me? Then do it! Do it so

is my house and I have all the rights to do whatever I want to do without asking for your opinion! I will bring any woman

you thinking of telling our

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