Chapter 49: He has never been yours

~~~I wish I could unsay the words I said, could unsee the videos in my head, could untie the knot and unhear the promises that you forgot. I wish I could unkiss your dirty mouth, could unfeel your skin and undrown the feelings and learn to swim. Unloving you is the hardest thing to do. Wish I could find a way to be unlove with you~~~

-Alex Aiono-

I don't know how long I remained standing in my spot that night... crying, lost in thought and with a shattered heart. There seems to be nothing more painful than the last words he uttered. I felt like I was drowning not with tears but with the pain.

I remembered him walked towards the main door and left and I don't know where he spent the night at that moment... maybe with Cherry, his other woman, the love of his life, the woman he never forgot... I don't know.

I wanted to run after him. I wanted to call his name that night and ask him to stay, but I think I've lost all my strength. I suddenly lost the strength and courage to do it. I remembered the time when I first met him, I saw stars in his eyes and they shone brightly, but they were already shining in someone else's sky.

But guess what... I continued to watch him and even took the tallest ladder to get him, but now I realized that you can't catch the stars in the sky because it would no longer give light and it would no longer shine in your hands.

The thing that confused and scared me the most was that I don't know if it's the start of goodbye, to my dreams, to what we had and everything that seemed to connect us. But one thing is for sure, it's the start of every pain and every sleepless night.

Three days have passed that I've been trying to be strong and pretending to be alright in front of my daughter, but the time I was left alone, I instantly break down. It hurts so bad that I can't breathe and I don't know how to make it stop. Every time I think about them and the confession he made that night, I felt like I was losing my sanity.

They say the worst kind of love is when you want someone but you can't have them... and it happened to me several years ago until now.

***

"Why don't you just let go?"

I looked at Jack, wiped my face and gave her a smile, a smile that doesn't even reach my eyes. We were on the porch, having our favorite coffee she had bought before visiting me.

my husband and his mistress, but I refused. Well, it's not just because I love him, but I love my daughter. I don't want to see her cry and in pain when she happens to know I've sued her father. She's too young and won't understand that kind

mean by

for your marriage and file a complaint against them! He's stupid enough to cheat and walk away, then be

mean, but what's the point on holding onto someone who doesn't see your worth? Besides, sooner or later Cali will find

this family and

admit I'm still hoping he would take back what he said and realizes that he also

numbed your head and

his legal wife, so I have every right when it comes to him. I will fight for him, Jack!"

suddenly laughed at me,

we are talking about, Jack. We're married and we have

"You've already done that before, right? That's why

She doesn't get my

you

the truth. I will also talk to Cherry and show her, her place. I

funny with what I said as she

She mimicked with a sneer. "Really? But what do you think is that Cherry girl doing with 'your property'?" She emphasized the last

going to tell your father-in-law everything? You know how influential a person your father-in-law is, he makes his own law and he controls the law, so what's the difference between filing a case and telling him the

will eventually know

the question is that will it make any difference? Will Luke come back

suddenly lost

are waiting for you and still waiting for you. You're still young, you're smart, you can finish your studies and who would know maybe someday you can

impact of the last line

know how much I love him. We've been together for four years and it's not that easy for me to just let him go, so I decided

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