Chapter 113: I hate myself that I love you

~~~I belong to her and you belong to him. We keep on playing a game we'll never win. We gotta stop before the hurt begins. What we had we'll always treasure. Believe me, it's easy letting go. So let's stop before we fall in love. Let's end it before the smoke turns to a flame, less than a game. Let's stop before the pleasure turns to pain. No reason to explain. Let's stop before we fall in love~~~

-Norman Saleet-

"Fine." He sighed. "What is it? Let me know the thing that's bothering you."

"Tss! The thing that's bothering me, really?" I chuckled sarcastically and walked past him, but then stopped after taking a few steps. "Well, then you listen! Do you know how much I loved you back then?"

His eyes softened from the words I mentioned.

"But I don't think so!" I continued.

"Sam..."

"I loved you with all the piece of me. I gave you everything including my dreams, my life, but what did you do? You made my life a living hell and blamed me for everything when all these years, you fucking knew what the real happened during that night! How dare you!" "Wait, w-what do you mean I knew---"

"How dare you accused me of seducing you and called me names when you knew I didn't do anything! You forced me! You forced me that night!"

I didn't miss the gasp that escaped his lips.

I tried so hard not to let my tears get in the way of my emotions, but I failed because it started to roll down the time I opened my mouth again.

"I met Gerry earlier, the bartender I asked to put a sleeping pill in your drinks, but instead, he put a sex-enhancing drug. And he was the same man you talked to almost 9 years ago when you found out there was hidden a camera in that room and his friend recorded everything! How dare you not tell me what you discovered? Why didn't you tell me you knew all about what happened? That you didn't fall asleep that night, instead it was me who fell asleep as he put a sleeping pill on my drink!"

Sobs simultaneously escaping my lips as I remembered the things he did, the way he made my life miserable, the way he broke my heart and trampled my dignity so many times when he brings different women to his room.

fault! I took all the blame, Luke! I took all the pain and you just let me suffered! I fell asleep so that means you have a choice to leave, but no! You continued touching me and when I told you I was pregnant, you

long strides to get to him and slapped

he didn't move or

"I'm sorry."

You're sorry? You're

"I'm sorry."

times do you have

sorry, Sam,

Luke! Are you

This time, he

a lot of mistakes and I also know that it cringe you away every time I mention the word sorry. Honestly, I don't really know how to face you. I feel like a fading candle every time I see you as it reminds me of the pain I caused you. I know I don't deserve you, but what do I do? I love you and I'm willing to wait and

I screamed wearily, taking my hands out of his grip. "I'm so tired of hating you but I'm also tired of loving you." I slumped on the floor with my back rested against the back of the couch. I can feel the exhaustion creeping not just in

heart.

tried to hold my hand, but I didn't let him, instead, I looked him directly in the eye. And with heavy tears flowing down my face, I asked him the questions

you cheat on me? Why didn't you follow me? Why did we end up like this? Was it

I'm sorry. Honestly, it

understood you instead of putting all the pressure on you. I should

I lost you and

family completely."

my lower lip as I witnessed the sorrow that registered in both his eyes. And a deep silence stretched between us for a

want to know the truth

And even though I got no response, I didn't miss the way he gulped the nervousness as he waited for my next

in love

expecting to hear that thing from me, especially

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