Pregnant With Alpha’s Genius Twins

#Chapter 33 – In the Mirror

I slam my door behind me and press my back against it, slipping down to the floor and crying into my hands. Amelia’s words echo after me – sham, slut, w***e. Disappear. In so many ways, they’re all true.

Glad, for once, to be in an empty house, I let myself cry my heart out, reliving all of the darkest moments of my life.

Joyce, grabbing me, throwing me into that closet. Watching him with my sister.

My father, ripping me out of Victor’s hotel room, not saying a word to me the whole ride home.

The banishment, cold and formal. Sleeping on a city bench. Begging for work so that I could buy a meal – and then, so I could buy a pregnancy test when.

The complicated experience of giving birth alone, welcoming my two boys into the world, promising to love them no matter what, but with no family there to stand with me as I gave them their names.

Years of working, struggling, to keep a roof over their heads. The absolute humiliation of being evicted, my life’s possessions strewn all over the yard. The shame I felt at accepting charity – charity – from Victor, after I promised myself I’d always be self-sufficient.

I open my eyes and stare at the bracelet on my wrist, and then tear it off, the gossamer gold chain breaking easily. I hurl it across the room. I’m just the pet that Victor kept in his play house out back, the nanny to his boys, feeding me with scraps from his table.

Slowly, I gather myself, pulling myself to my feet, and make my way upstairs, my shoulders still shaking with sobs for which I have no more tears.

I walk into my bathroom and turn the tap on the tub, filling it with hot water, seeking warmth from something, anything. Even if it scalds me.

As the tub fills up, I stare at myself in the mirror, my face red and puffy from the crying, my hair limp as it falls around my shoulders.

As I stare at myself, I begin to peel off my clothing, piece by piece. First my top, which I see, suddenly, has a smudge of jelly towards the bottom, courtesy of one of my boys grabbing for me before he’d quite finished his lunch.

– just from years of use. I peel off my socks and study myself there, in

a parasite who is taking advantage of her fiancé, living for free on his charity because I was “lucky”

worked to build a life for my boys, to hold myself to the highest standards, to be self-sufficient. I bury my face in my hands again because Amelia’s words nag at me –

it fall to the floor. Then I slip my panties – basic, cotton – from my hips, and let them fall as

piling it on top of my head so that I can see the lines of my back, my ass, my legs which – though

stomach, letting them settle on my hips. Looking at myself, I know I’m not an unattractive woman, that I’m not used-up, that

only here because some mating bond snapped into place not very long after that. Everything Amelia has, she has because Victor gave it to her. In some ways,

then turn away to turn off the bath’s tap as it threatens to overflow. Even without the mating bond, Amelia is a serious model, with a career. I can’t discredit her to make

– I think that I haven’t quite been fair to Amelia. My boys and I did toss her whole life up in

must have taken an incredible amount of faith and patience to agree to Victor’s plans to acknowledge his sons. After all, when he does that, they will be his

her advice on love and her marriage. After all, I have not been…Well. My behavior with

as I face this truth, taking a deep breath and sinking under the water. It is peaceful under here, away from the sounds and

I can admit that I have a little crush on him. It’s been slow-growing, creeping up

few weeks – Victor threatening to take my boys, trying to find a

reached out, just touched him, once, with just the tip of my finger. It would have been enough. Victor would have pulled me to him. He was hungry for me that night. And I would have let him take my mouth with his own, let him

wrapping his hand in my hair, pulling my head back to expose my throat. I would have drawn my nails across the skin of his back, begging for it, and then he would have bitten me – hard enough to draw

to the ground and I would have bared my own teeth, pushing down Victor’s shorts, tearing off my own, demanding that he give himself to me. Gasping, not caring if it hurt, Victor would have plunged into

It’s more than a fantasy, it’s the full knowledge of what almost happened that night

know, are walking a fine line here. And it’s irresponsible and deeply unfair