#Chapter 86 – Christmas

A few days later, Christmas morning dawns with a fresh fall of snow, which I’m glad to see. It’s been so long since we’ve had a white Christmas. It’s the boys’ first, actually.

They came tearing down the stairs at the break of dawn, eager for their presents, but I was ready for them, having slept down here on the couch after setting everything up.

“Mommy!” Ian had said, giving me a big hug. “How did you beat us down here? We woke up so early.”

I laughed and gave both of them a kiss. “I stayed down here all night! I wanted to see if Santa Claus would give me a Christmas kiss.”

The boys wrinkled their noses in disgust, making me laugh harder.

“Don’t kiss Santa,” Ian said, “he’s old.”

“Yeah,” Alvin said, picking up the thread of the conversation as he fell to his knees and started riffling though the wrapped presents. “Besides, you shouldn’t kiss anyone except daddy.”

I raise a hand to my cheek now, remembering that moment a few hours ago when my face had gone red with embarrassed surprise. The three of us had let the moment pass without comment – but still. Why would they say that? They’d never seen me kiss their father – did they somehow know what happened?

Either way, it just deepened my conviction that we need to get out of here. It’s too complicated.

I stand by my little sink now, staring out the back window that overlooks the yard. The boys are out back, chasing each other in the snow with Archie nipping at their heels. I don’t know how they’ve been out there for two hours, but they show no signs of coming in.

Sighing, I turn to the stove and put the kettle on to heat.

Victor sent down a bunch of gifts, of course, but I haven’t seen him since the night of the hunt. Part of me is grateful – it’s easier this way, not having to face him. But the other part…

I glance down at the floor, remembering the feel of it pressed against my cheek, my bare breasts, as Victor knelt behind me, pulling my hips closer –

I shake my head, banishing the thought. Damnit. I can’t let myself remember it like that.

I glance out the window briefly and then do a double take, fear racing through my veins. I start and lean closer to the window, looking everywhere – the boys are gone, nowhere in sight –

Gasping, I push myself away from the counter and head for the door – where could be –

But then the door opens, and the boys stumble in, a cold blast of snow coming with them.

“Oh, thank god,” I say, my heartbeat still pounding with panic in my ears as I clutch my chest and take a deep breath.

“What’s wrong, mommy?” Alvin asks, coming close and staring up in my face.

“Nothing, baby,” I murmur. “I just couldn’t see where you went from the window. It scared me for a second.”

“We’re okay!” Ian says, flashing me his big smile. Archie shakes his fur, sending snow flying.

I take the three of them in and am grateful for the relief that runs through me. It’s fine. Everything is fine. I laugh a little, realizing how silly I’ve been. Things really have been too stressful lately. Inwardly, I can’t wait for Christmas and the wedding to be over so that we can move on from here.

thought and clap my hands. “Okay boys,” I say, “snow clothes off, and then we’ll have a nice

in the

says, his eyes droopy with exhaustion from so much excitement and play. “Will Daddy come down to visit us

question all day and am surprised that it’s just coming

your presents, but he probably wants to spend Christmas with Amelia. She’s going to be his wife very soon, and they’re

we’re his family,”

will be,” I say. “But…things might be a little different, once your dad gets

stare into the fire. They’re growing up so fast, I think, looking at them. And I’m always surprised

have to admit that a little part

it is better this way, I decide. Victor and I should have clear boundaries. I’m grateful that Victor has not shown

I can’t help the small smile that creeps onto my face as the boys yell “Daddy!” and throw

boys,” Victor says, laughing softly as he kneels to give each of them

take you so long,” Ian says, pounding him on the shoulder with his little

day with Amelia, and then we did some

going to be different after

coat and scarf. “Things will be different. Amelia will be my wife. But

room. I say nothing, letting him stand there, looking him over. As much as I hate it, I feel a

as the boys run in, eager to show him all of

stopping a few paces from me.

same craving that I do. Like a

for coming down, Victor,” I say, breaking his gaze to look over at the boys. “It means

but I hear him sigh as he settles down on the floor. He rests his back against the couch where I’m sitting. I breathe in his smell, savoring it, while I cast my eyes over the

my hand into a fist, resisting the urge to run my fingers

it being his

my eyes to see

daddy?” Ian asks,

that he’s clenching his teeth real

little,

savoring the idea that I’m not alone in this. But then dread coils

fiddling with a toy train that he unwrapped earlier

part,” Ian says, bringing over a book on astronomy to show his

– “ Alvin

Victor’s voice is low with warning. “You will speak of Amelia with respect. She’s my wife and my Luna, and she’ll

but Alvin hides his feelings a little better, looking back down

frown, surprised to hear him ask. I

as well. “Amelia is my mate, so she is my Luna. And in a few days,

slowly, still looking innocuously down

frown at this as well.

mother is my…very dear friend. And very special

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