#Chapter 113 – The Note

I struggle to get free from underneath my blankets and children. I haven’t heard from Edgar since our visit to the Beta camp, despite many calls and texts.

“No, it’s okay,” Edgar says, closing the door behind him and taking a few steps into the living room. “Don’t get up – I don’t mean to disturb you.”

I ignore him, pulling myself free and standing up. I take two steps towards him, but he puts out a hand to stop me. “Please, Evelyn,” he says softly.

“We’ll give you some space,” Victor says, standing up and putting out a hand for each of the boys.

“No, Sir,” Edgar says. “I’d like to speak with you as well, if you don’t mind.”

Frowning, Victor nods. “Boys, upstairs please. We need a moment of privacy.”

The boys, sensing that something is up, nod and head up the stairs, giving Edgar little waves as they go.

“Thank you,” Edgar says, meeting each of their eyes. I can see that he is anxious.

“Edgar, why haven’t you answered my texts and my calls? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Evelyn,” he says, meeting my eyes, his own filled with emotion. I can tell that whatever he’s going to say, it’s hard for him. And, well, I think I know what’s coming. I bite my lip.

“Listen,” Edgar says, heaving out a breath and running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to make this anymore dramatic and awkward than…well, than it already is.” He gives us a little smile. “But I have noticed that there is something…between you two.”

Victor simply puts his hands in his pockets but I take a few steps forward, putting out my hands to him. “Edgar, no –“

“Please,” he says, putting his hands up again, holding me off. I stop and slowly lower my hands, my heart in my throat. “Please, I’m not accusing you of anything, or trying to force you two to…take any steps, or have any conversations, if that’s not where you are.”

He sighs and again runs his hands through his hair. I’ve never seen him so at a loss. “God,” he murmurs. “I should have practiced this or something. What I’m trying to say is that no matter what is happening between you two,” he gestures, here, at the space between Victor and I, “I’m going to need to move on.”

I open my mouth to speak but he looks to me, pleading in his eyes. I close my mouth. He’s right. I haven’t been faithful to him, I haven’t been good to him, and…well, even if there is something good between Edgar and I, he is right.

There is something between Victor and me as well. Something that I need to sort through before I could ever consider a true and honest relationship with someone else.

My eyes fill with tears. Edgar shakes his head at me, his own face full of emotion. I can tell that he’s barely holding it together himself.

I look away, trying to save him from it. He deserves at least that.

moment, he

you this.” From the corner of my eye, I see him hold out a folded piece of paper. I hear Victor take a few steps forward, see him

there in a while, but they’re accurate. They’re to help you find a

see that Edgar has pulled himself together more than I have. He stands with his

can help you two understand…whatever it is between

Victor says, frowning a

know more, go find her. She can help you. That’s all I can

and places the folded scrap into his

breath. “I’d like to tender my

air. Victor’s face likewise the picture of shock, though

steps toward him and he surprises me by letting me take his hand. “Please, Evelyn,” he says softly, looking me in the eye. “This is…this is hard enough for me. I can let you go, but I can’t…I can’t be

team and…and my friend. Please,” he puts out a pleading hand,

straightening and dropping my hand. “I’ve made my decision. I’m going to go, to make

and then pinches the bridge of his nose

of my pack, a valuable one, and I can’t let you go for something

and look at Victor, wondering how he could be so cruel. I don’t want Edgar to go

six months of paid leave,” Victor says, returning his gaze to Edgar’s face. “No responsibilities or obligations. You’re free of command, free to do as you will, but you’ll still have the protection of the pack and the rank of Beta. If, in six months, you still want to go, I’ll let you. But until then, I hope you’ll have some time

thinks about this

Sir.” Edgar says, snapping a salute.

status: all the weight of the

I say, stepping forward one more

hand on my cheek one last time, pressing his lips together as he studies my face. “It’s okay,

away and, not

door closes feeling…strangely gutted, empty. Edgar has been so important to me for so many months

Evelyn?” Victor’s voice is

quite serious. I can’t parse my feelings at all. Part of me knows that this was the right thing, but another

I’m going to

rigid. Almost as if he can’t not, he takes a few

sniffing and trying not to

of the stairs. A

and opening my arms. They come forward and allow me to wrap them in a big hug, one I very much need. “Edgar let us know that he’s going away for a while. We’re going to

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