Pregnant With Alpha’s Genius Twins

#Chapter 157 – To Stay or to Go

“Mama?” The boys come tottering down the stairs.

Too soon, just…too soon.

Still kneeling on the floor, I raise my shaking hands to my eyes, working to wipe away the tears, but they’re still coming.

s**t, s**t – no part of me wants my boys to see me cry, but I just can’t stop –

Two little arms wrap around my shoulders from the left side, resting a little brown head against my shoulder. Sniffing, I reach a hand up to wrap around a little forearm as the other twin comes to hug me on my other side.

I’m a little twin sandwich, squeezed between their sweet, empathetic little hearts. God, what did I ever do to deserve them?

“Are you okay, mama?” Ian whispers, true concern in his voice.

I clear my throat, doing my best to sound steady, but my voice trembles when I answer.

“I’m going to be okay, babies. Go ahead now, let me go.”

They unwrap themselves and come to stand in front of me. I look up at them and then pat the floor in front of me, where they sit down, their faces worried.

“Papa was…” Alvin says, his lip trembling. “He was so mad…”

Ian nods in agreement, his face a pair to his brother’s.

“He was…” I say, hesitating, trying to be careful. The boys don’t need to know everything. “He was very angry with me, because I did something very bad. I stopped doing it, a few weeks ago, and I’m sorry for it, but…he’s right. I was not good to him.”

The boys look at me with shock. Their whole lives, I don’t think that they’ve really ever considered that I could do anything wrong. They have trouble comprehending this truth.

say, leaning forward and taking each of their hands. Impulsively, I make a decision. “We’re going to go on a little trip! Give daddy some space until he cools off.” I gives them a big,

me suspiciously. “Where are we

say brightly. I’m making this up as I

“We want to stay here,” Alvin says,

Go upstairs, boys, pack a little bag. Some clothes,

to them and they

call over her shoulder, my mom instinct kicking in despite my despair. “Sacrifice some toys if

don’t respond, continuing up

to my feet, my mind and my body both moving fast. I don’t need

breakfast – I have to feed them before we

of the cabinet and pour it into two bowls, sliding a carton of milk next to them. Then, I fill a tote bag

I head up the stairs as quietly and swiftly as I can,

my life as I grab a few sets of clothes and shove them into

the boys already in the kitchen, their backpacks ready, eating their

giving them a big smile. “Have

fills the room and my cheeks

carefully. “We know that this is not a trip.” Alvin

love them, but god damnit, for one minute can my kids not be genius twins who see through my

pleading for me to see,

tears coming back in a

stay here. I can’t live here, in this house, on his land, knowing what we had, what my stupid choices just ruined. I can’t see him every day – can’t look into his face, can’t co-parent with him, can’t watch him –

here,” I whisper, my tears falling through my fingers and onto the floor. “I have

I’ll go back to where I started – I’ll change my name again, change theirs. Start somewhere new – somewhere warm –

stupid day at the quiz show, when Victor walked into my life and ruined all of my carefully-laid plans. I’ll find new work as a therapist,