Pregnant With Alpha’s Genius Twins

#Chapter 157 – To Stay or to Go

“Mama?” The boys come tottering down the stairs.

Too soon, just…too soon.

Still kneeling on the floor, I raise my shaking hands to my eyes, working to wipe away the tears, but they’re still coming.

s**t, s**t – no part of me wants my boys to see me cry, but I just can’t stop –

Two little arms wrap around my shoulders from the left side, resting a little brown head against my shoulder. Sniffing, I reach a hand up to wrap around a little forearm as the other twin comes to hug me on my other side.

I’m a little twin sandwich, squeezed between their sweet, empathetic little hearts. God, what did I ever do to deserve them?

“Are you okay, mama?” Ian whispers, true concern in his voice.

I clear my throat, doing my best to sound steady, but my voice trembles when I answer.

“I’m going to be okay, babies. Go ahead now, let me go.”

They unwrap themselves and come to stand in front of me. I look up at them and then pat the floor in front of me, where they sit down, their faces worried.

“Papa was…” Alvin says, his lip trembling. “He was so mad…”

Ian nods in agreement, his face a pair to his brother’s.

“He was…” I say, hesitating, trying to be careful. The boys don’t need to know everything. “He was very angry with me, because I did something very bad. I stopped doing it, a few weeks ago, and I’m sorry for it, but…he’s right. I was not good to him.”

The boys look at me with shock. Their whole lives, I don’t think that they’ve really ever considered that I could do anything wrong. They have trouble comprehending this truth.

decision. “We’re going to go on a little trip! Give daddy some space until he cools

me suspiciously.

you want!” I say brightly. I’m making this up as I go anyway – why not let

“We want to

head. “No questions asked. Up! Go upstairs, boys, pack a little bag. Some

nod to them and they

over her shoulder, my mom instinct kicking in despite my despair. “Sacrifice some toys if

boys don’t respond, continuing up

and my body both moving fast. I don’t need much – I can grab a few sets of clothes

– I have to feed them before we hit the road

milk next to them. Then, I fill a tote bag with everything nonperishable that I can find in the cabinets –

up the stairs as quietly and swiftly

I grab a few sets of clothes and shove them into a duffel. I then grab my cell phone charger

in the kitchen, their backpacks ready, eating their cereal, watching

I say, giving them a big smile. “Have you guys decided? Where are we

me. Then, they look at each other. Silence fills the room and my cheeks hurt so hard with

says carefully. “We know that this is not

down at the floor. I love them, but god damnit, for one minute can my kids not be genius twins who see through my

me to see, to understand. “We want to stay here.

floor again, putting my head in my hands, the tears coming back in a flood. The boys don’t come

in this house, on his land, knowing what we had, what my stupid choices just ruined. I can’t see him every day – can’t look into his face, can’t

my tears falling through my fingers

again, change theirs. Start somewhere new – somewhere warm – somewhere he can’t find me.

I had before that stupid day at the quiz show, when Victor walked into my life and ruined all of my carefully-laid plans. I’ll find new work as a therapist, build my