Pregnant With Alpha’s Genius Twins

#Chapter 157 – To Stay or to Go

“Mama?” The boys come tottering down the stairs.

Too soon, just…too soon.

Still kneeling on the floor, I raise my shaking hands to my eyes, working to wipe away the tears, but they’re still coming.

s**t, s**t – no part of me wants my boys to see me cry, but I just can’t stop –

Two little arms wrap around my shoulders from the left side, resting a little brown head against my shoulder. Sniffing, I reach a hand up to wrap around a little forearm as the other twin comes to hug me on my other side.

I’m a little twin sandwich, squeezed between their sweet, empathetic little hearts. God, what did I ever do to deserve them?

“Are you okay, mama?” Ian whispers, true concern in his voice.

I clear my throat, doing my best to sound steady, but my voice trembles when I answer.

“I’m going to be okay, babies. Go ahead now, let me go.”

They unwrap themselves and come to stand in front of me. I look up at them and then pat the floor in front of me, where they sit down, their faces worried.

“Papa was…” Alvin says, his lip trembling. “He was so mad…”

Ian nods in agreement, his face a pair to his brother’s.

“He was…” I say, hesitating, trying to be careful. The boys don’t need to know everything. “He was very angry with me, because I did something very bad. I stopped doing it, a few weeks ago, and I’m sorry for it, but…he’s right. I was not good to him.”

The boys look at me with shock. Their whole lives, I don’t think that they’ve really ever considered that I could do anything wrong. They have trouble comprehending this truth.

I say, leaning forward and taking each of their hands. Impulsively, I make a decision. “We’re going to go on a little trip!

suspiciously. “Where are

I say brightly. I’m making this up as I

boys don’t fall for it. “We want to

my head. “No questions asked. Up! Go upstairs, boys, pack a little bag. Some clothes, whatever books and toys you

they can

her shoulder, my mom instinct kicking in despite my despair. “Sacrifice some toys if you

don’t respond, continuing

fast. I don’t need much

breakfast – I have to feed them before we hit the road

cabinet and pour it into two bowls, sliding a carton of milk next to them. Then, I fill a tote bag with everything nonperishable that I can

head up the stairs as quietly and swiftly as I

and shove them into a duffel. I then grab my

already in the kitchen, their backpacks

smile.

at me. Then, they look at each other. Silence fills the room and my cheeks hurt so hard with my forced smile that I feel almost as if they

is not a trip.” Alvin nods next to

let my face fall and stare down at the floor. I love them, but god damnit, for one minute can my kids not be genius twins who see through my every lie? Can’t they just fall for

for me to see, to understand. “We want to stay here.

in a flood. The boys don’t come to me this time, instead letting me have my space, letting

knowing what we had, what my stupid choices just ruined. I can’t see him every day – can’t look into his face, can’t co-parent with him, can’t watch him – oh my god, watch him fall in love with someone else

tears falling through my fingers and onto the

will solidifies even further. I’ll go back to where I started – I’ll change my name again, change theirs. Start somewhere new – somewhere warm – somewhere he can’t find me. Europe, maybe? He has less sway

had before that stupid day at the quiz show, when Victor walked into my life and ruined all of