Pregnant With Alpha’s Genius Twins

#Chapter 157 – To Stay or to Go

“Mama?” The boys come tottering down the stairs.

Too soon, just…too soon.

Still kneeling on the floor, I raise my shaking hands to my eyes, working to wipe away the tears, but they’re still coming.

s**t, s**t – no part of me wants my boys to see me cry, but I just can’t stop –

Two little arms wrap around my shoulders from the left side, resting a little brown head against my shoulder. Sniffing, I reach a hand up to wrap around a little forearm as the other twin comes to hug me on my other side.

I’m a little twin sandwich, squeezed between their sweet, empathetic little hearts. God, what did I ever do to deserve them?

“Are you okay, mama?” Ian whispers, true concern in his voice.

I clear my throat, doing my best to sound steady, but my voice trembles when I answer.

“I’m going to be okay, babies. Go ahead now, let me go.”

They unwrap themselves and come to stand in front of me. I look up at them and then pat the floor in front of me, where they sit down, their faces worried.

“Papa was…” Alvin says, his lip trembling. “He was so mad…”

Ian nods in agreement, his face a pair to his brother’s.

“He was…” I say, hesitating, trying to be careful. The boys don’t need to know everything. “He was very angry with me, because I did something very bad. I stopped doing it, a few weeks ago, and I’m sorry for it, but…he’s right. I was not good to him.”

The boys look at me with shock. Their whole lives, I don’t think that they’ve really ever considered that I could do anything wrong. They have trouble comprehending this truth.

of their hands. Impulsively, I make a decision. “We’re going to go on a little trip! Give daddy some space

me suspiciously. “Where are

I’m making this up as I go anyway – why not let

for it. “We want to stay here,” Alvin

a little bag. Some

But I nod to them and they can tell

I call over her shoulder, my mom instinct kicking in despite my despair. “Sacrifice some toys if you have

boys don’t respond, continuing up the

and my body both moving fast. I don’t need much – I can grab a few sets of clothes upstairs

breakfast – I have to feed

I fill a tote bag with everything nonperishable that I can find in

that’s done, I head up the stairs as quietly and swiftly as I can, hurrying into my

at the stupid phone that ruined my life as I grab a few sets of clothes and shove them into a duffel. I then grab my cell phone charger and the phone still on my bedside

already in the kitchen, their backpacks ready, eating their cereal, watching me

big smile. “Have you guys decided? Where are we

Silence fills the room and my cheeks hurt so

know that this is

let my face fall and stare down at the floor. I love them, but god damnit, for one minute can my kids not be genius twins who see through my every lie? Can’t they

me to

back in a flood. The boys don’t come to me this time, instead letting me have

can’t…I can’t stay here. I can’t live here, in this house, on his land, knowing what we had, what my stupid choices just ruined. I can’t see him every day – can’t look into his face, can’t co-parent with him, can’t

through my fingers and onto the floor. “I have to go. We

even further. I’ll go back to where I started – I’ll change my name again, change

I had before that stupid day at the quiz show, when Victor walked into my life and ruined all of my carefully-laid plans. I’ll find new work as a therapist, build my life