#Chapter 201 – Pancakes

A few hours later, wrapped in our coziest robes, Victor and I step out of our room.

As soon as we walk out, I can hear the noise of our boys downstairs, laughing and talking as they have their breakfast.

I clutch my robe tightly around my neck as I hear them and look up at Victor, a huge smile breaking out on my face. God, it’s good to hear them laugh.

Victor returns my look and takes my hand. Then slowly, carefully, we walk down the hall and head down the stairs.

As soon as they hear the creek of our footsteps on the stairs, we hear everyone go silent.

I’m ahead of Victor, so they see my feet first, staying silent. Then, as soon as they see Victor’s slipper appear on the step above mine, we hear a collective gasp.

Victor and I look at each other at that and can’t help but burst into laughter.

“Mama!” Alvin shouts, running to the clutch the banister at the bottom of the stairs.

“Papa!” Ian screeches, right after him, skidding to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and banging into the wall at the bottom. “You’re better!”

They start up the stairs towards us but Victor puts out a hand –

“Wait, wait,” Victor says, his voice soft. “We’re not totally better yet, okay? Go easy on us.”

“Come and take our hands,” I say to them, smiling at my boys at the bottom of the stairs, unable to take my eyes off of them. So precious to me, these two little things.

Grinning at us, Alvin and Ian obediently come gently up the stairs. Alvin takes my hand, helping me balance, my little gentleman. Ian goes up a step beyond me, helping his dad by letting Victor put a hand on his shoulder.

When we get down into the kitchen, I tear my eyes away from my boys to look at Rafe, who is sitting at the table, pale as a ghost.

Burton stands behind him, a spatula in his hand, the pan he was using to cook beginning to smoke lightly on the stove behind him.

his eyes moving to the pan. “Burton, would

and running

doesn’t stop looking

as Ian and Alvin lead us to seats at the table.

and I sit down. I don’t wanting to have this conversation in front of my sons. “Do you know what I

look up at me, curious and eager to help. “The newspaper,” I say, giving them a big excited grin. “Do you think you could go out

but I pout. “Pleasssseeee, babies?” I say, clutching my hands below my chin. “Just go look.

and Ian bolt to the front door, slipping on their boots and grabbing their

Victor says, looking at me curiously. “Do we…subscribe to

“But. I don’t want them to know how bad it was, last night.

agreeing, and then he looks

You were…god damnit, Victor, but you were on death’s doorstep. I really didn’t think that you were going to make

as he brings us over

a hand over his amazed face, as if he might be seeing a mirage. “But, you

it,” Victor says, smiling at me tenderly, taking my hand. I feel a tingle run all through my body

says, starting to get

giving a little shrug. And really – I’m not trying to be cryptic. I don’t really know what happened, what

beyond it. Of what it looked like there, of what we did, of how we…made the exchange. But…I suppose that some things I want

So, I improvise.

Nursed him through the night, and whatever it was that was making him so

can tell that he doesn’t believe me and I give him a

was an experience that defies belief. Any attempt

to let go and walk

brother and raising his glass of orange juice to his lips. I watch him drink, thrilled to see it. He hasn’t had anything except water and broth for days. God, it is such a relief to see him thirsty,

as if I could eat like a

at my shoulder with a stack of

I say, looking up at him, my eyes

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