#Chapter 201 – Pancakes

A few hours later, wrapped in our coziest robes, Victor and I step out of our room.

As soon as we walk out, I can hear the noise of our boys downstairs, laughing and talking as they have their breakfast.

I clutch my robe tightly around my neck as I hear them and look up at Victor, a huge smile breaking out on my face. God, it’s good to hear them laugh.

Victor returns my look and takes my hand. Then slowly, carefully, we walk down the hall and head down the stairs.

As soon as they hear the creek of our footsteps on the stairs, we hear everyone go silent.

I’m ahead of Victor, so they see my feet first, staying silent. Then, as soon as they see Victor’s slipper appear on the step above mine, we hear a collective gasp.

Victor and I look at each other at that and can’t help but burst into laughter.

“Mama!” Alvin shouts, running to the clutch the banister at the bottom of the stairs.

“Papa!” Ian screeches, right after him, skidding to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and banging into the wall at the bottom. “You’re better!”

They start up the stairs towards us but Victor puts out a hand –

“Wait, wait,” Victor says, his voice soft. “We’re not totally better yet, okay? Go easy on us.”

“Come and take our hands,” I say to them, smiling at my boys at the bottom of the stairs, unable to take my eyes off of them. So precious to me, these two little things.

Grinning at us, Alvin and Ian obediently come gently up the stairs. Alvin takes my hand, helping me balance, my little gentleman. Ian goes up a step beyond me, helping his dad by letting Victor put a hand on his shoulder.

When we get down into the kitchen, I tear my eyes away from my boys to look at Rafe, who is sitting at the table, pale as a ghost.

Burton stands behind him, a spatula in his hand, the pan he was using to cook beginning to smoke lightly on the stove behind him.

eyes moving to the pan. “Burton, would

blinks and snaps back to himself, spinning and running to

doesn’t stop

and Alvin

I don’t wanting to have this conversation in front of my sons. “Do you know what I

giving them a big excited grin. “Do you think you could go out into

me, Ian opening his mouth to protest, but I pout. “Pleasssseeee, babies?” I say, clutching my hands below my chin. “Just go look.

shrugging, and he and Ian bolt to the front door, slipping on their boots and grabbing their jackets to

me curiously.

I say, shrugging and then looking at Rafe. “But. I don’t want them to know how bad it was, last night. How close

and then he looks at his

of disbelief. “It was…it was so bad last night. You were…god damnit, Victor, but you were on death’s doorstep.

he brings us over two

a little laugh and running a hand over his amazed face, as if he might be seeing a mirage. “But, you know, not dead. Or anywhere near it.

my hand. I feel

says, starting

really – I’m not trying to be cryptic. I don’t really know what happened,

also somewhere beyond it. Of what it looked like there, of what

So, I improvise.

I just…followed my instincts. Nursed him through the night, and whatever

and I give him a little shrug. He doesn’t need to believe me, I guess. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter what

Any attempt to explain it, really, would…it just wouldn’t

just…decided to let go and walk away,” Rafe says, dubiously. “Sometime around

watch him drink, thrilled to see it. He hasn’t had anything except water and broth for days. God, it is such a

feel as if I could eat like a

stack of

say, looking up

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