#Chapter 201 – Pancakes

A few hours later, wrapped in our coziest robes, Victor and I step out of our room.

As soon as we walk out, I can hear the noise of our boys downstairs, laughing and talking as they have their breakfast.

I clutch my robe tightly around my neck as I hear them and look up at Victor, a huge smile breaking out on my face. God, it’s good to hear them laugh.

Victor returns my look and takes my hand. Then slowly, carefully, we walk down the hall and head down the stairs.

As soon as they hear the creek of our footsteps on the stairs, we hear everyone go silent.

I’m ahead of Victor, so they see my feet first, staying silent. Then, as soon as they see Victor’s slipper appear on the step above mine, we hear a collective gasp.

Victor and I look at each other at that and can’t help but burst into laughter.

“Mama!” Alvin shouts, running to the clutch the banister at the bottom of the stairs.

“Papa!” Ian screeches, right after him, skidding to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and banging into the wall at the bottom. “You’re better!”

They start up the stairs towards us but Victor puts out a hand –

“Wait, wait,” Victor says, his voice soft. “We’re not totally better yet, okay? Go easy on us.”

“Come and take our hands,” I say to them, smiling at my boys at the bottom of the stairs, unable to take my eyes off of them. So precious to me, these two little things.

Grinning at us, Alvin and Ian obediently come gently up the stairs. Alvin takes my hand, helping me balance, my little gentleman. Ian goes up a step beyond me, helping his dad by letting Victor put a hand on his shoulder.

When we get down into the kitchen, I tear my eyes away from my boys to look at Rafe, who is sitting at the table, pale as a ghost.

Burton stands behind him, a spatula in his hand, the pan he was using to cook beginning to smoke lightly on the stove behind him.

Victor says, his eyes moving to the pan.

snaps back to himself, spinning and running to the pan to

doesn’t stop looking

as Ian and

I sit down. I don’t wanting to have

excited grin. “Do you think you could go out into the driveway and see

but I pout. “Pleasssseeee, babies?” I say, clutching my hands below my chin. “Just go look. I really

shrugging, and he and Ian bolt to the front door, slipping on

says, looking at me curiously. “Do

at Rafe. “But. I don’t want them to know how bad it was, last

then he looks at his brother

last night. You were…god damnit, Victor, but you were on death’s doorstep. I really didn’t think that you were going to make it through the night.

Burton as he brings us over two glasses of orange juice, smiling at us with shining

amazed face, as if he might be seeing a mirage. “But, you know, not dead. Or

did it,” Victor says, smiling at me tenderly, taking my hand. I feel a tingle

what,” Rafe says, starting to

a little shrug. And really – I’m not trying to be cryptic. I don’t really know what happened, what

that place, somewhere in my mind but also somewhere beyond it. Of what it looked like there, of what we did, of how we…made the exchange. But…I

So, I improvise.

and whatever it was that was making him so sick just…broke. Sometime around

he doesn’t believe me and I give him a little shrug. He doesn’t need to believe me, I guess. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter

defies belief. Any attempt to explain it, really,

death just…decided to let go

orange juice to his lips. I watch him drink, thrilled to see it. He

feel as if I could eat like a

Burton is there at my shoulder with a stack of pancakes. “Madame,” he says gently,

looking up at him, my eyes still

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