Reclaiming My Broken Luna by Selene Souchon

Chapter 277: Unspoken Words

Astrid's POV

I glanced at him, my chest tightening. "But why does it always have to be you?"

Killian frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head, the words I had been too afraid to admit bubbling up. "I couldn't love Drystan. Not fully. Not the way he deserves to be loved. And do you know why?" I asked him as he stared at me cluelessly. "Because I'm still stuck on you, Killian. You're the ghost I can't shake. You're always there, lingering in the back of my mind," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He stood there, stunned into silence. For a moment, I thought he might walk away, say nothing, but he didn't. He stayed, and it only made the ache in my chest worse.

"I tried, you know? I tried to love Drystan the way I was supposed to. But every time, I felt like I was betraying something... or someone. And that someone was you." My voice broke then, and I couldn't stop the tears that filled my eyes.

"Even though you hurt me, even though you weren't the husband I needed, I still couldn't move on. I still can't," I burrowed my face to my hands. I felt so pathetic in front of him, that I couldn't bring myself to face him.

Killian's face softened, but there was guilt behind his eyes, a deep regret that he tried to keep hidden but couldn't anymore. "Astrid... I never meant to keep you trapped like this. I thought... I thought letting you go was the best thing for you."

"You did let me go," I whispered, my voice shaking. "But I couldn't let you go. And I hate that about myself. I hate that I still carry you with me when I know you've probably moved on. And now, I'm the one who can't move forward."

Killian's jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. He took a slow breath before speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. "You think I've moved on? You think I don't feel the same weight every day?"

in love with her. You were a good and loyal husband to her, Killian. I've seen it with my own eyes. You took her out on dates, held her hand in public. You even had

tempted to sleep with me, you still managed to

his head slowly, his face dark with regret. "You don't understand," he said, his voice thick with something I couldn't quite place. "It was never

you mean? You

confessed, his voice growing rougher with each word. "I

her, yes, but love? No. I didn't marry her because of some great passion, some overwhelming need to be with her. I married

you talking about? You had a son with her. You built a

hair, his expression pained. "I know. And I've asked myself a thousand times how it even happened. I don't even remember the night we

telling me you don't even know when you

his head. "It was an accident, a mistake. I tried to explain it to you many times but you never believed me. You were so convinced that I was in

"I spoke, but Killian

know... I was an asshole. How could you not be convinced when I never gave you any reason to trust

my eyes wide

stared at him, so he continued. "In the back of my mind, every single day. I couldn't shake you. I thought being with Giselle would make it easier, that it would help me move on.

felt a strange

that almost felt like relief. "So what was all of it then? The dates, the marriage, the family?

it was a mistake, I couldn't let my own son suffer. I

step back as the truth sank in, the pieces falling into place like a cruel puzzle I had refused to see