Chapter 42

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The clock ticked endlessly, and I regretted not getting a digital one.

Her eyes had been so bright when she saw it in the pile of old junk my father had given to me as ‘Heirlooms. Even if it was broken, she saw the spark it still held.

So I fixed it and put it on the wall.

And she smiled.

But now, it felt like a curse.

I stared up at the ceiling, exhaustion in every inch of my weary body as I listened to the ticking of that clock. Every second felt like days, and every hour felt like years.

I’d been so drunk, and I felt every bit of it as I woke up. I deserved to feel awful. And I had all day.

Her eyes swam with tears as she declared she was leaving. I always hated her tears. They were too raw, too honest, and heartbreaking.

Every tick of the clock was the sound of her slamming the door behind her, the rattling of the walls, and the sound of her footsteps racing down the hall and further away from me.

Now, that was all I could hear. Our fight was on repeat throughout the night as my mind refused to drift away into the sleep I desperately needed.

No, I had to relive the sound of her breaking heart over and over, my cold and cruel voice replaying in my head as I pushed her away.

The sound of silence she left behind and that damn stupid clock. It was all becoming too much, too loud.

I’m a f*cking idiot. I threw my arm over my face.

Why didn’t I chase after her? Why didn’t I beg her to stay and apologize until my voice was hoarse?

Why did I have to ruin every good thing I had for myself? Why did I always have to get in my own way?

The sound of knocking on the bedroom door brought me out of my self-pity party, and I glanced at it, seeing the shadow move under the door.

for you,” Mrs. Rivas sighed on the other side of the door, her footsteps loud. and heavy as she set down a plate. “You better eat your dinner, or I’ll drag you out by your

smell of food traveled under the door, but I wasn’t in any mood

time. It rang and rang

have reached Adelaide Hilde-” the voice messenge started again,

single call back. I was beyond looking desperate; this was

to stop.

throwing away my phone as I covered my face with my hands, the

just as I had settled myself into another long night of feeling sorry

snatching it quickly from the bed as hope burst into my chest for the first time

I cried as I answered, needing to hear just the sound of her voice. Anything to keep the ends of my sanity from fraying

replied, confused. “It’s your best friend.”

“Oh.”

depression crushing me into the sheets as I bit out,

asked with concern in her

sighed, not able to think

“I messed up.”

wasn’t going to sugarcoat it to protect the last bits

entirely

I just wanted to ask if we should go to the bridal shower or not. Because I don’t

not going as fast as it normally would. I felt like I was swimming

a ‘duh’ sort of tone. “Kathy’s her manager, remember? That woman’s been

or not.” I bit out.

make

I perked up at that.

phone. Apparently, she forgot to charge it last night. It’s been off all day.” Lacey rambled but then paused.

hung up, my eyes traveling to the clock still ticking away on the wall. Her giggles as we hung it up together rang in my

had never lasted this long. It was unsafe for her to be out this

glass as I jumped to my feet.

had always come first.

I raced to the bathroom, doing my best to neaten my exhausted appearance. I looked like a right

all-nighters, but now. I loved curling up in bed with her, feeling her

I murmured to myself as

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