Chapter 155

Intense-1

The next day, I'm tidying up my room after a shower and before dinner. I grab a sweater I have on my bedside table and in the process, my phone falls on the floor.

It flashes on and the numbers from the corner of the screen stare back at me.

My heart goes into overdrive.

They're small, unassuming, but they define my entire life at this point.

February 14th.

I've been avoiding my phone all day for this exact reason. I didn't want to be reminded. And now I'm here, in the suffocating quiet, trying not to drown in it.

Burning rubber and gasoline.

The crunch of metal folding in on itself.

Flashing lights. Red, white, blue, like a strobe in the middle of the nightmare.

The images and memories bombard me, and I struggle to breathe.

I wrap myself tighter in the blanket I stole off the bed, dragging it with me like a shield as

I step onto the balcony of my room. The cold air bites at my face, but I welcome it.

It's sharp, cold... completely opposite to that day as I watched the first responders check my family for signs of life.

day,

panic was too

to my chest, staring out into nothing. It's so dark and without lights coming from a large city, I can see the stars and the

beautiful.

But it's the guilt that gets me. The tight, gnawing weight in my chest that never really leaves, just

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intense 1

blanket, trying to silence the sound that escapes me. It's

I'm pathetic.

makes me lift my head, wiping at

Zaid's voice

permission. Anyone else I might have faked a smile for. Lied. But Zaid? I don't have

me think I don't need

soften when he steps out onto

It feels like he always knows what I'm feeling just by looking at

don't say anything; I don't trust my voice

scoops me up, blanket

with me curled in his lap, his arms solid and

in his chest, letting myself melt

of

It smells like

wanna talk about it?" he asks after a moment,

head. He nods and just

tense under me. Not in a way that makes me pull away, but enough that I notice. Enough that I lift my head,

wrong?" I ask, wiping at

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