Chapter 167

It Might Be Everything

I scoot back and sit cross-legged on my bed, picking at the fraying edge of my blanket

while Nikki just watches me.

There's a soft smile on her lips, like she's trying to decide if she should start this conversation. I'm floating somewhere between exhausted and just empty, trying to keep

my mind focused on the present.

Nikki sighs and tilts her head at me. "You know I called you five times yesterday?"

I blink and look over at her, offering a crooked little smile. "It was fifteen times, actually."

Her eyes widen. "Really?"

I can't help but laugh, but it comes out like a tired sigh.

"Fifteen times?! Are you serious? That's fucking annoying. I get why you didn't

answer

me."

That draws an actual laugh from me. "Did you think I was dead or something?"

"I did!" she says, dramatically slapping her hand over her heart. "I was about two minutes. away from driving over and breaking the door down."

"You wouldn't have made it past the guys, plus I was sleeping all day," I tell her, my voice

soft but teasing.

Her mouth twists into an exaggerated grimace. “I was worried about you."

The corner of my mouth twitches again. I can't help but be grateful she's here, that she

cares enough to check up on me.

She shifts onto the bed, turning so she's fully facing me. "But seriously... are you okay? Yesterday was a lot."

I lower my gaze, studying my hands in my lap. I can feel my shoulders start to tense. "Yeah, I'm better today."

She watches me carefully. "You don't have to pretend with me. If you want to talk about

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It Might Be Everything

it, I'm here."

bounces once, betraying

pinch. She shakes her

I mean... maybe, maybe there's more going on? More than just Zaid and Aiden

1 freeze.

she can push me. We're friends, well, she's my only friend. But how much do

other?

and for a second, I'm not sitting here on my bed. I'm somewhere else, floating outside myself, staring at this cracked,

I exhale slowly.

on," I admit. And then, before I

out.

I tell her everything.

touches, the feelings I've tried to keep neat and tidy in my head but always end up spilling all over the place. I tell her about the

the guilt, the confusion, the fear of being judged, and how I hate the stares because

the time I stop talking, I feel like I've finished all the oxygen in the room. My chest is

me, to think less of me. But I also don't want to feel like I'm

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It Might Be Everything

open. For a long second, she says nothing. And then she

god," she

twists as I start shaking my head. "I

maybe a little." She gives me a wide-eyed look. "But seriously, girl. Three?! You've got three guys? At the same time?! I thought it was

and bury my face in my

full-on belly laughing. "And Jake?! An

me smile in the middle of the emotions I'm

points a finger at me, nearly doubling over. "I can barely handle one! I don't even know how to text back half the time! You're out here

my pillow over

hear you," I

help it. Her energy

down beside me.

drop the pillow to

a lot."

"You're acting like you're going

yesterday. And

I frown.

the constant sleeping?

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It Might Be Everything

shifts in my chest. "Wait. What

I've grown another head. "I thought this was your way

telling me."

hammers in my chest. "Of telling

shakes her head.

"Nikki."

her hands together. "Do you

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