Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina)

Chapter 210

Chapter 213

Hurry Up, Please

I look over at my empty closet and finish folding the last hoodie into the suitcase and stop to take a breath. My heart feels like it's trying to crawl out of my chest, and I can't tell if it's fear or longing or both.

Maybe it's all of it.

I don't want to leave. Not really. Not Aiden's warm hands and soft mouth, or Jake's intense touches and heated glances. I don't want to leave behind the arms that still pull me in like I'm something they crave, because I know Zaid won't. Not like that.

And I hate that I'm even thinking about the lack of intimacy. Because it means Zaid was right. About me. About the way I run to sex instead of dealing with what's actually wrong.

Then, part of me wants to go. Wants to be alone with him. Because maybe if we're together again, if he sees me trying, if he hears the way I breathe easier around him than anyone else, maybe he'll want us again.

Maybe I can show him that I'm okay. Or at least trying to be. Maybe we could fix this.

I don't know how I'm supposed to live in a house with him again. With his quiet patience, with his eyes that still look at me like I'm made of the stars. I want him. God, I want him. But he doesn't want me. Not like that. Not anymore.

The truth is, that even if it's just awkward silences and polite distance and him sleeping down the hall, I'm still looking forward to leaving.

Melview's heavy with memories now. Arizona was supposed to be a clean slate, a place to start over. Instead, it turned into a collage of pain and mistakes and blurred lines. It got messy fast.

But this? This house in the green somewhere? It's a real fresh start. No history. No pressure. Just space. And it's with Zaid.

Zaid, who never talks unless he has something real to say.

Zaid, who listens all the way through and remembers every word I don't mean to say out loud.

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Hurry Up, Please

He's the only one I can have long conversations with and not want to run halfway through them, or avoid them altogether.

He makes silence feel full, not empty. Because he's the only person I've ever known who

healing feel possible. Even when it hurts. My

1. up.

walked away from him and into Aiden's arms like a coward.

was spiraling, that I needed someone. But the truth is simpler, and worse: I was scared, and I

I wanted

the door makes me

"Yeah?" I call out.

door halfway, his eyes soft.

biting the inside of

behind him. "What are you thinking about?

a serious

my nose. "I'm just trying to figure out

Zaid."

frowns. "What

know how I'm going to feel, being around him. Living with him. I still..." My voice breaks. I look down at my hands. "I still

chin on the top of

look up at him. "You

smiling gently. "And I'll join you guys right after graduation,

kiss to his cheek, then another to

without another word. I take a deep breath, grab

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Hurry Up, Please

and head downstairs.

me before I reach the bottom

yet," Zaid is saying, voice clipped.

wants somewhere quiet, green. I'll

already tired of this.

just

to see them, while

send me the details. I'll handle

beat of silence before the shift. The tension

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