Chapter 228
A Grown Man
We pull into the driveway in the dark, the cool air of the night brushing against my cheeks.
I would be cold if I weren't flushed. If my heart wasn't racing in my chest. If my stomach wasn't so twisted.
Elena was so animated the whole ride home and I could only offer her random smiles and nods as if I was listening and not completely in my head. I was sandwiched between Jake and Zaid, and my head was too. Ping ponging between the two.
The second the car stops, I'm ready to bolt inside.
"Thank you so much for dinner, Elena. I had a great time." I nod at her, turning to walk inside.
But she catches my arm. She has a frown on her face and she watches me diligently. "Will you sit with me for a moment?"
I hesitate, glancing toward the front door like it's some kind of escape where I can drown in my thoughts. Jake and Aiden have already disappeared behind it, so it's just us.
I nod. "Yeah. Of course."
We settle on the porch steps, the wood cool beneath us. Elena crosses her legs and studies me for a long, silent second. The tension in her face makes my chest tighten.
"You weren't yourself tonight. I was kind of hoping for a more fun night," she says gently.
I nod, looking down at my lap. "Jake being here threw me off."
She tilts her head. "What's going on?"
I exhale hard, twisting my fingers together in my lap. "I did something wrong."
Elena tilts her head in the opposite direction, like a bird, and waits.
"I just..." I look down, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Please don't judge me."
"I won't," she says, her voice determined.
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A Grown Man
been in a relationship with
deepens.
my head.
widen slightly, but
rush out. "A really long story. And I'm not going to get into the details right now. But it
I lost my virginity
placing a hand over her mouth. "With
I nod, grimacing.
away for a moment, biting down on whatever it
words. "That's diabolical."
I flinch.
hand on
not the worst
She lifts an eyebrow.
slept with him. Last night." I choke on
before, this leaves her incredibly
the time I told my dad that I was in love
golden retriever. Things were so
say. "Jake helped me. He was the first
after my dad and Alex died. I was so lost and alone
mattered. But now,
not?" she
heart, it
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A Grown Man
sharp. "Then who does it belong
even hesitate.
him. And I don't know what to do now. I feel like I'm betraying Jake. Like I'm letting him down.
a beat of silence, and then Elena stands up, pacing a few steps before turning to me with fire in her
you. So I'm going to say this plainly, and
at her,
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