Chapter 228

A Grown Man

We pull into the driveway in the dark, the cool air of the night brushing against my cheeks.

I would be cold if I weren't flushed. If my heart wasn't racing in my chest. If my stomach wasn't so twisted.

Elena was so animated the whole ride home and I could only offer her random smiles and nods as if I was listening and not completely in my head. I was sandwiched between Jake and Zaid, and my head was too. Ping ponging between the two.

The second the car stops, I'm ready to bolt inside.

"Thank you so much for dinner, Elena. I had a great time." I nod at her, turning to walk inside.

But she catches my arm. She has a frown on her face and she watches me diligently. "Will you sit with me for a moment?"

I hesitate, glancing toward the front door like it's some kind of escape where I can drown in my thoughts. Jake and Aiden have already disappeared behind it, so it's just us.

I nod. "Yeah. Of course."

We settle on the porch steps, the wood cool beneath us. Elena crosses her legs and studies me for a long, silent second. The tension in her face makes my chest tighten.

"You weren't yourself tonight. I was kind of hoping for a more fun night," she says gently.

I nod, looking down at my lap. "Jake being here threw me off."

She tilts her head. "What's going on?"

I exhale hard, twisting my fingers together in my lap. "I did something wrong."

Elena tilts her head in the opposite direction, like a bird, and waits.

"I just..." I look down, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Please don't judge me."

"I won't," she says, her voice determined.

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A Grown Man

a relationship with him," I

deepens. "With

shake my

widen slightly, but she doesn't

long story," I rush out. "A really long story. And I'm not going to get into the details right now. But it happened. We've been together.

my virginity

placing a hand over

I nod, grimacing.

maybe. She exhales slowly and looks away for a moment, biting down on whatever it is she wants

words. "That's diabolical."

I flinch.

hand

not the worst

She lifts an eyebrow.

with him. Last night." I choke on the

shocked before, this leaves her incredibly pale.

told my dad that I was in

retriever. Things were so simple

was what I wanted," I say. "Jake helped me. He was the first one

and wanted after my dad and Alex died. I was so lost

mattered. But now, I

she

"My heart, it doesn't belong to

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A Grown Man

looks back at me, sharp. "Then who does it

even hesitate.

I feel like I'm betraying Jake. Like I'm letting him down. And it hurts. But it hurt so much

up, pacing a few steps before turning to

going to say

blink at her, heart

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