Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina)

Chapter 230

Secrets of Us: A Forbidden Love Romance

Not Fixed

Zaid and I stay in the living room longer than we probably should, sitting in the quiet of everything that's happened. The house feels heavier now and part of me feels like I've ruined everything.

His arm is draped along the back of the couch behind me, his thigh brushing mine. My heart races as I focus on that small touch. It might seem so insignificant, but it's like food

to a starving man.

We sit in silence, neither of us saying anything, but I don't complain. The silence is needed and his presence is enough.

Eventually, I sit up straighter, wiping my face with the sleeve of my shirt. "I'm gonna head up to bed."

Zaid shifts beside me. "Are you gonna be okay?"

I nod, offering a faint smile. "I'll deal with it."

It's the only honest answer I have. I lean in and press a kiss to his cheek, my lips brushing his skin for just a second too long.

"Thank you for sitting here with me."

His eyes trace the side of my face. "I feel like we need a do over for our birthday."

That makes me smile for real. "I wouldn't be opposed to that."

I try to get up, but his fingers curl gently around my wrist, stopping me.

He takes a breath like he's about to say something difficult. "I'm here for you, love."

My heart stutters. I meet his eyes, and all I see there is sincerity. There's no expectation, just him.

I nod, placing my hand lightly over his before managing to slip away. "I know."

I head upstairs, into the quiet of my room. The door clicks shut behind me, and I

half expect the weight of it all to crash over me, but it doesn't,

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I crawl into bed, and I sigh. The sheets are cool against my skin.

for the tears, but they never come.

sad.

in my mind. The way he yelled. The way his voice cracked. The

he could

I understand why, the guilt in

shallow and full of blurry

is still gray blue and my body moves before my

catches up.

hall, then down the stairs. The house is still

with my journal, flipping past pages already

my

feelings of chaos and hope.

onto

about Zaid.

but I think

and head toward the coffee machine. The smell of fresh grounds calms me before the first drip even hits the

on the

Aiden.

breaks across my face, and I answer.

I didn't call yesterday. Practice ran late, and then we had a special

">

softly, “Aiden, it's okay. Your voice message was

a while. I tell him about Elena and my therapy,

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Then I

I

pause. I can practically hear the way he tenses.

But I didn't know that's how things

"It just happened. It didn't feel right anymore."

he can't see me. "Yeah.

softens. "You deserve that. I love you, okay? And it's only

chest aches in a warm way. "I

and I hang up just as

eyes.

makes a beeline for

at him, taking in the expanse

adds a little milk and honey into mine and