Chapter 18

We gradually stopped contacting each other after that. Sometimes, we’d go up to half a month without saying anything to each other.

He had a girl he liked by his side, after all. I didn’t want to cause any misunderstandings between them. I also didn’t want to distract their lives just because I couldn’t control my emotions. That was why I never made the first move to contact him, no matter how much I missed him.

It was hard to cut back on contacting him, but I needed to move on.

I swore I had to get over him by hook or by crook.

When it was almost time for winter break, he texted me once, asking me when I’d be going home.

I stared at the single line of text on my phone for the longest time ever. My mind was conflicted. I didn’t know if I should feel sad or happy.

I thought I’d forget him as long as I didn’t see him or think about him.

However, when his familiar profile photo popped up again on my messaging app, telling me I had unread messages from him, my mind started wandering once more. And there was no stopping it once it started.

I gripped my phone tightly and stared at our chat window for a long time. Then, I broke down in tears and sobbed like a madwoman.

out, I was still very much in

love with him for 18 years. It wouldn’t be that easy

I could do even if I couldn’t forget him. We didn’t belong together. I had my life to live, and

line of text. I said, “I don’t know when I’m going back yet. But I’m thousands of miles away from you, so it doesn’t matter.

me.”

he posted on his social media. The first post

two intertwined hands.

that said, “We’re home.”

My heart broke.

suitcase behind me as I made my way home through

than the other colleges. It was perfect because it meant I could stay at home for a longer time

that I was also home, he would come over and knock at

face. I didn’t know if he was doing this because he felt sorry for me or if he was just trying to reconcile with

what was in the past should

do about it anyway.

how close his dorm was to

gigantic snowflakes up north, the sharp and heavy icicles hanging off the edges of the roof, the crazy locals who opened

smile faintly. At times, he would teasingly call me a pig for eating that much. Other times, he would tell me that I should

alone.

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