Chapter 40

“No, it really is her,” I said faintly.

Lilac had supposedly returned home with her mother after several days. She was standing under a small klosk by the roadside. She held a large umbrella above her as the rainwater splattered her short skirt, making her curves all the more apparent.

Lilac looked like a fake flower sprouting in the rain.

She placed her hands near her mouth again before yelling. “Felix!”

Felix saw her this time. Light glowed in his dark eyes. He ran out into the rain like an excited child, his white sneakers splashing in the dirty rainwater. “You’re back, Lili.”

Felix ran over and held Lilac in his arms. She giggled happily.

I stood there in the torrential rain, not even noticing that my umbrella was off–kilter. My heart felt numb.

Felix always managed to hurt me without so much as lifting a finger.

My heart was colder than the weather

and Felix spoke to one another in the rain. Lilac giggled again and nuzzled into

too sweet, and her embrace too alluring. Felix wasn’t able to control himself in the end. He kissed her deeply on the lips like a starving man

Lilac in the rain and kissing

sound of my heart

they ran in the rain, leaving me behind. Lilac turned around and

a caring phrase, yet

soon left, leaving only me alone

rain tore the skies above me.

rain, thunder, and lightning, as well as the pain in

I had never

to nearly swallow me whole. Water began pooling on the streets. Lightning flashed ahead from time to time, my heart

the start that Felix wasn’t yours? He never was and never will be, so

are you still crying? There are so many other boys in this world. Why hurt yourself again and

scared of hurting again? Won’t you give up out of desperation?” I asked myself again and again, yet my heart hurt too

not with how

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