Early December sounded very far away, but it was just next week. For some reason, I had an ominous feeling regarding Colin's new project. Something inside me hoped that he would turn it down because I felt like I was about to lose something.

I could only tell myself this bad feeling came from my reluctance to be ignored by Colin when he was busy with work. Surely, it had nothing to do with my sixth sense. Nevertheless, I felt on edge.

I found my self-contradiction rather amusing at times. Colin always came home late. I had tried many times to stay up to talk to him and to go to bed with him together. But it never worked. I would doze off before he reached home.

And for once, Colin came home early. We kissed and cuddled, yet sleep eluded me as I lay on the bed. To make sure neither of us got carried away by our urges, I silently distanced myself from him. There was now a one-foot gap between us.

I knew how frustrated Colin was. He hugged the love of his life to sleep every night, yet the physical interaction stopped there. It had to be torturous to him. There were times when Colin was about to lose control but the tears in my eyes calmed him down. Then, he'd go to take a cold shower.

I was in love with Colin, hopelessly in love with him. I mustered all my courage many times to offer my first time to him. I would be his anyway. Doing it early might help alleviate some of his frustrations.

I'd get cold feet at the last minute. I was still unable to defy my parents' teaching that a girl shouldn't have premarital sex. I had also read enough romance novels to know that most couples who did it before marriage would never end up together. Their first time became a

told me that sometimes, I was too traditional, almost like a religious nun. I was the type to bind myself with different rules. But what could I

Colin was understanding. He'd rather endure the frustration than force me. While he looked very calm today, I knew him very well, so I knew that he was merely holding himself back. He was waiting until I fell asleep.

felt so bad about myself. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ ꜰindNʘvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in

silence. "You'll be busy next week.

busy working, and I might get bored if I lived in a big house alone. If we stayed here, I had Queenie to keep

made him raise his brows, and he kissed my fingertips. "I'll

other words, he

we moving

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