Sentenced to Marriage by MadlainQ

Therapy

1 did it. I told someone about my relationship with Callan. I had to fight off my embarrassment and guilt, but voicing it out freed me from the poisonous load that had been crushing me for a very long time. Yes, I let him manipulate me. Yes, I was the one who let Callan take control over me. And yes, I’d been struggling to forgive myself. I knew what was going on. I couldn’t use the excuse of temporary insanity because everything inside me screamed that this wasn’t right. Callan’s so-called love was highly toxic. Nonetheless, I ended up blaming myself for letting that man smash me like a bug.

When did I become so defenseless? It was the moment I decided that I was in love with him. He used that against me. He cut me off from all the friends I had at the university so that he could be the only person I talked to. He kept telling me that no one could ever love me as he

told me that I could only be happy with him and with no one else, and I believed him. I believed in his lie so deeply that his half-hearted “I’m sorry” was enough for me to forgive him that he raped me! I did it all to save our love, although it was more likely that it was merely my, one-sided feeling. I sacrificed a lot because I thought that compromise was unavoidable. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I was the only one sacrificing anything.

I was ashamed of what I did and how I behaved around Callan. That girl, it wasn’t me. The truth was too hard for me to deal with alone and humiliating to tell… or at least that was what I thought for the last three years. Something within me decided that it was time to change that, and I chose Miranda, the person I barely knew, to listen to my story…

“It is not your fault, Cora. Do you understand me?” she said softly, crying along with me.

I nodded, smiling despite falling tears. It turned out that we had much more in common than I initially thought. We ordered pizza and prosecco and spent the rest of the day, drinking and talking about our past, messed-up relationships, and guys that had never grown enough to become men.

“I wonder if I didn’t enjoy sex with Callan because he didn’t love me,” I said, finishing my third glass of fizzy drink.

Miranda chuckled. “You’re kidding, right?” “No.” I shook my head, slightly alcoholish. “If he’d loved me, he would have cared enough to pleasure me.”

Miranda burst out laughing, which made her roll on the bed. “Do you know anything about good sex at all?!”

I stated with a lopsided smirk, “Yes and no. I’ve got a lot of theoretical knowledge. My experience involves one specimen, remember?”

Miranda sat up, straightening to a teacher-like pose. “My dear Cora, the guy doesn’t have to love you to make you feel good in bed. He needs to respect you… and he needs to have some skills or at least intuition. If he cares solely about his pleasure, then he shouldn’t call himself a

man.”

our glasses. “Then,

lips. “Fortunately… you don’t need to look far. He is right by your

rolled my eyes. “Aren doesn’t

him what you need from him, he won’t give it to you. And believe me. Aren has a lot to offer.”

talking about giving him a chance.

or rather what he didn’t do, Nonetheless, I needed to face him

him that I will come back to the

he is going to ask me about you and Callan…” I took a

my choice. “Thank

you for

also made me hopeful and excited. I couldn’t sleep thinking about how to face

say that the car would be waiting for me outside the hotel. I guessed it was time to go back. I messaged him that I would be ready in thirty minutes, and glided in swayed steps to the bathroom. I had just finished putting on light makeup when

sighed and walked to the door. “Neil, I didn’t have to go up…” I froze as I opened

said, a faint

jeans and a black, fitted T-shirt. I was aware that it was Saturday, but

the threshold and processing why he

in?” he asked

curious, I replied,

perfume violating my calm heart and forcing it to race. He sat on the chair and tilted his head, gesturing

do you want, Aren?” I asked, narrowing my eyes

an uncomfortable grimace. “I shouldn’t have said that… about Callan

crossed my arms as

smiled wryly and shrugged. “I don’t know. You reacted