Chapter 4

I didn’t go to the hospital. Instead, I took a cab home.

The apartment Alex and I rented was a small one–bedroom. By the entrance stood a bookshelf with

several textbooks.

They were remnants from when I’d pushed him to complete his bachelor’s degree through online cour at a state university.

My mother was right – his education was limited. When we met, he said he only had a community college degree.

We were both young then. I just thought he was smart, with his whole life ahead of him. He shouldn’t

stay stuck at that level.

Even entry–level positions required bachelor’s degrees these days, with higher starting salaries.

I would work during the day, then stay up late helping him study.

While brushing our teeth side by side in the morning, I’d play French lessons on my phone, helping him review yesterday’s vocabulary. He said learning French would help his career prospects.

For months of practice GRE tests, I reviewed every question he worked through.

With time against us, we managed to complete his online degree in just eighteen months.

To celebrate, we scoured every platform for restaurant coupons just to afford a nice steakhouse dinner.

But now, reading Victoria Bennett’s messages, it all seemed absurd.

isn’t even Alex. I can’t

Stanford, then Oxford. He’s incredibly

palm against my forehead, leaning on the sofa,

up to see Alex, disheveled from frantically searching

from him. He leaned against the doorframe, slightly out

breath.

my face in

softened.

06:34

Love. Seven

20.5%

Chapter 4

you fall?” Despite knowing I’d tricked him, he didn’t mind, just played with my fingers and smiled. “Let me put some medicine on it, before the wound

was too brave, too quiet in that moment, for him to understand the pain I was enduring.

He’d always been this composed,

impoverished youth that had forged this unflappable character, this ability to remain unmoved

I never considered that such composure might instead come from extreme privilege.

pulled my hand away, looking ahead: “Alex, my mom’s pressing me to go home for arranged

not quite

through tears, with my usual loving gaze, “I told her I’d only marry Alex. I’m waiting for

hadn’t meant to cry, but my tears wouldn’t obey.

move in after marriage. Then we’d have a child – your parents would

from my bag, head down. “Look, I put your name

could you ever repay these five passionate, foolish

where every step down

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