Chapter 4

I didn’t go to the hospital. Instead, I took a cab home.

The apartment Alex and I rented was a small one–bedroom. By the entrance stood a bookshelf with

several textbooks.

They were remnants from when I’d pushed him to complete his bachelor’s degree through online cour at a state university.

My mother was right – his education was limited. When we met, he said he only had a community college degree.

We were both young then. I just thought he was smart, with his whole life ahead of him. He shouldn’t

stay stuck at that level.

Even entry–level positions required bachelor’s degrees these days, with higher starting salaries.

I would work during the day, then stay up late helping him study.

While brushing our teeth side by side in the morning, I’d play French lessons on my phone, helping him review yesterday’s vocabulary. He said learning French would help his career prospects.

For months of practice GRE tests, I reviewed every question he worked through.

With time against us, we managed to complete his online degree in just eighteen months.

To celebrate, we scoured every platform for restaurant coupons just to afford a nice steakhouse dinner.

But now, reading Victoria Bennett’s messages, it all seemed absurd.

I can’t tell you

Oxford. He’s incredibly

palm against my forehead, leaning on the sofa, my stomach

up to see Alex, disheveled from

phone showed countless missed calls from him. He leaned against the doorframe, slightly out

breath.

approached, took my face in his hands,

softened.

06:34

Years of Love. Seven

20.5%

Chapter 4

him, he didn’t mind, just played with my fingers

in that moment, for him to understand the pain I

He’d always been this composed,

thought it was his impoverished youth that had forged this unflappable character, this ability to remain unmoved

never considered that such composure might instead come from extreme privilege.

mom’s pressing me

smile not quite faded from

smiling through tears, with my usual loving gaze, “I told her I’d only marry Alex. I’m

him. I hadn’t meant

Then we’d have a child – your parents would love them. Boy or girl, doesn’t matter. A girl with your big eyes, or a

contract from my bag, head down. “Look, I put your name on

Alex, how could you ever repay these five passionate, foolish years of

at the peak, where every step down is

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