Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I would regret it – regret my fearlessly forward–rushing youth.

Realizing this, I decided to fulfill some unfinished dreams before falling off the cliff.

From bedroom to kitchen to living room, I traced our familiar paths, slowly erasing traces of our

existence.

But this rental apartment held too many memories and too much love.

The evening sun slanting into the bedroom, the warm light swaying, his endless strength devoted entirely to loving me.

Running home laughing through snowy nights, urgently pushing open the door, then kissing against it

until breathless.

Splitting a watermelon in two but fighting with spoons over one half, getting tipsy on $12 cocktails, me cupping his face with tiny kisses until I nestled into his arms as we fell onto the sofa, feeling his chest vibrate with laughter.

In this moment, I decided to let memories stay memories.

The lock turned. I looked back to see a stranger named Alex in the doorway.

Though he looked at me as he had thousands of times before, I knew–this wasn’t him.

me, looking at my

out some

a $50 jacket, $20 pants, only his underwear was pricier since I insisted

his twenty–some years of privileged life, his greatest hardship was playing

when bored.

lowering his living standards but laboriously crafting lies.

I hadn’t lost out.

liar, my boyfriend was handsome, well–built, capable,

come try on wedding dresses with

Tears oflox

Chapter 8

seemed frosted with silver, beautiful

about marriage, I’m still… isn’t it too early

trying them on, doesn’t mean we have to get married. What are you afraid of?“.

was the first time I’d mentioned not getting married so

indifferent.

arms

yet. No

each other. Maybe my future belongs with someone

gripped my fingers, laughing in anger: “Shut up. I’ll go with

throwing myself into his arms ecstatically like before, I just kept

asking why I kept asking about

if you’re looking to cheat, at least pick someone in your league. Why keep asking about him? He was in Milan picking wedding dresses

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