123 – Bought

Olivia

You told me it’s all my fault.

Evil is sounding from my old sound system, the lyrics that I know so well prevent me from remembering the past–at least during the day, as memories, like phantoms, creep into dreams through the night. I sleep only if I am so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. Sometimes, the pain cripples me and I can barely get out of bed and the only things that help me go through daily motions are music, and drugs.

Today was one of those days when I wanted to stay in bed and watch the snow fall from the sky. Winter has always been my favorite season, it reminds me of other times, happier times, and of a pair of kind, turquoise eyes.

I even tried to tell Jason that I wasn’t feeling well, hoping he would leave me alone, at least today, but a fist in my stomach was a reminder that it is best to keep my mouth closed and do as my brother tells me.

After he left my room, I sat at my vanity desk, staring at my reflection for a few moments, remembering how much I

hate myself.

My hand trembles and I take a steady breath before I apply the red lipstick. Ever since that awful night–when I killed my best friend–I hate the color red, as the sight of it makes me remember, but Jason forces me to use it every day, claiming it is the color of whores–as he kindly reminds me that I am every single day–without a care for the anxiety

it produces me.

Jason, five minutes older than me, has always treated me like garbage. I don’t remember a day when he showed me affection. Nor our parents. Jason has always been the golden child, while I am the black sheep. My father wanted an only child–a son–and me being a woman made him resent me even more. He is the epitome of the misogynistic male, his photo should be put in the dictionary next to the definition of the word. The only reason my mother is with my father is because she is just as cold–hearted as he is. Luckily, I don’t have to see them as Jason has me living in his apartment. Not that he is better than them, but at least he gives me drugs and alcohol.

I don’t know what deal he made with Carlos, but I am happy I am not at the Celestial Heaven anymore and having to fuck men for hours daily. Not all of them were Dukes, as Carlos allowed normal men to use the porai in the Celestial Heaven in exchange for their loyalty. At least with Jason I only have to take care of his friends. They don’t hurt me–Bont that badly.

02:5

for Jason. He always dislikes what

he kept me focked in my room for two days,

after me after the song been played five or six times. If

has

day Jason got me from the Celestial Heaven was when Angelica escaped

123 – Bought

I knew nothing. Even if I did, I wouldn’t have told Carlos where Angelica was. Not because we are friends, but she

from head to toe. Even now, months later, I still

prepared for whatever he has in store

is on the floor, as he doesn’t like it when I look him in the eyes. Not his or those of any other men. My

the needles I use to inject

the women are alert.”

Malaky.

I know that name.

Malaky Jensen.

a senator, but in another state. From what I heard, while I was on

Malaky, I say, “I thought I only had to take care

but something triggers him as he grabs my braid and forces. me to look at him. I am lucky he doesn’t slap me across my

anger him even more, I say, “To

are you questioning me?”

did I have to open my mouth? Jason is right–I am

voice is barely a whisper.

want me to send you to jail for killing

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