Shackled (The Lord Series) by Amy T

144. Olivia
I had no other choice.
There is a hole, a bleeding hole in my chest, a gaping hole in the fabric of my soul, no matter how much time passes, it never heals, it will never heal. It keeps growing and stretching until one day, my suffering will end, and I will be reunited with that boy I love so nrich.
All my life, I stood on the edge of a precipice, and then I fell, and I kept falling and falling until I reached murky waters and drowned, and I keep drowning, but I never die, no matter how much I crave the peace that death promises.
Blood stains the bandage around my wrist, and it rushes through my veins, my heart is still beating, and my lungs still fill with air, but I feel nothing except the never-ending pain in my chest.
How long will I be forced to endure this hell called life?
If only I had been faster, I would not be here right now, but free.
I scream, but no one hears me.
I cry, but no one sees me.
I suffer, but no one notices.
I exist, and yet, I don’t.
I am here, and yet, I am not.
The angel with bright white wings has destroyed me, and a demon with wings black as the night came to my rescue, but it is too late for me. He sits with me in the dark, his eyes glowing red, his hands touching me, his lips whispering into my ear things only I know, his power forcing me to keep existing.
I don’t trust him, nor his power.

What will happen when he guesses my darkest secret?
Flashback 15 years old
It’s been a few months since he asked me for the first time to meet up with him in the orchard, and since then, we have been texting daily. We even made up a cipher of our own, not wanting to be discovered by Jason or my parents by accident, as they have a habit of checking my phone once every few days. Not only that, but I also delete the texts as soon as our conversation is over.
He cares for me. I can see it in his eyes a time I visit Camila and we hang out playing video games or making small talk. We decided not to tell anyone about our friendship because not only is he older than me and legally an adult, but he is also a Lord, and many won’t agree with us and whatever is happening between us. I suspect Camila will disapprove as well, not because she has something against me being with him, but because she knows how strict my parents are, and she would probably be worried if they were to find out. We are being careful, though. Besides, we are not hurting anyone by talking and trying to figure out where we see ourselves in the future, no matter if we will be
144 Olivia
together or not.
My phone buzzes with an income text, and I put the book I am reading next to me on the bed before I lean over to the nightstand. The message is from Turqoiuse, and my heart beats a little faster. I have him listed like that because of those beautiful eyes of his.
Him: “Reading porn again, Little Bunny?”
I straighten my back and look around the room before I reply to his text. “Did you hide cameras around my room?TM
Him: “I hacked into the one Jason installed a few months ago.”
It doesn’t come as a surprise that Jason is spying on me. Ever since Camila visited me here for the first time, he has been asking me stuff about her almost nonstop. He knows she is a D u c h e s s, but I don’t understand why he is suddenly so obsessed with her when he has girls fawning over him at school just because it is expected of him to be a future Pathriact. “You should stop with the spying, it’s creepy as f u c k.”
Him: “I just wanted to see you. Do you think we can meet today? Just the two of us in the orchard.”
I grin like a fool because it’s been a while since we last went to the orchard. “Give me half an hour, and I will be
there.”
“I will wait for you at our spot.”
Luckily, my parents and Jason are not home since every Saturday, they visit my grandparents, my father’s parents. They have a bison farm with lots of land where they can hunt as well. I am seldom invited since I get too emotional when animals are killed.
I change my comfy pajamas for a dress, and after I pass the brush through my hair a few times and check my makeup, I leave my room and go get my bike. I pedal fast, eager to see him.
It doesn’t take long for the orchard behind his house to come into view. The red and yellow colors of the leaves pemind me that Summer is over. Soon, I will be sixteen, and I will finally be able to drive a car.
I lean the bike against the fence and slowly walk to where he is waiting for me.
When he comes into view, my pulse quickens. Despite wanting to believe I am more mature than most teens, I am just like them because I have fallen for my BFF’s big brother.
He sits on a rock and is smoking, his eyes fixed on me. “You will get cancer and die,” I tease him.
“And you will catch pneumonia and die.” I hoped he wouldn’t notice I am cold. He takes off his jacket and hands it over to me. I put it on, and it smells just like him. “Sit next to me.”
I do as he asks. We sit in silence as he takes a few drags of his cigar, and I ask, “Have you been spying on me for a long
time?”
The idea of him spying on me doesn’t sit well with me.