Shackled (The Lord Series) by Amy T

232. Olivia - The Guardian II

"Why?"

Why indeed. I have asked myself the same question many times.

I let go of Ansel and frown while trying to remember everything I heard that night. But the place in which Camila and I were hiding barely let sounds travel in and I missed most of the conversation.

"The other part of the conversation is fuzzy but it was something about hellstars." I frown then add, "I think." I take Ansel's pack of cigars from his pocket. There is one cigar left and I bring it to my lips. "Can you light it for me?" Ansel quirks an eyebrow. "Since when are you smoking?"

I shrug. "Camila and I got curious one day." Ansel pulls out his lighter and lights the cigar for me. "Our curiosity is what got Camila killed." What led to me losing the man I loved. I take a drag from the cigar and cough. "This shit is strong. It will fucking give you cancer and die."

Ansel laughs. "Are you worried about me?"

I take a few smaller puffs, trying to get used to smoking. "I was worried for you, Rueben, and Tyson all these years. The drugs helped me not remember. They made me forget, too-my friendship with Levi, or how you took time to do maintenance to my bike, or how Rueben liked candies, or Tyson is the best at COD and he always beat us." I bring the cigar to my mouth. "The worst part about remembering is knowing that I'll never have that happiness again. Or that life. Knowing that my soul is forever scared. That I lost so much."

Ansel pulls me into his arms. "I'm going to fucking kill your father and brother for what they did to you. To all of us." He cups my face. "I'm sorry for failing you. Despite knowing you came above everything else, I ran from my duty, and I'll regret that all my life. But I'm ready now. Anything you ask of me, I'll do."

What duty is he talking about? Whatever it is, maybe I can use it to make it work in my favor.

the smoke in my lungs. "Good, because we are going to the Catacombs to retrieve what I stole from my father," I say before kissing Ansel and filling his mouth with

tell me you're afraid," I

a place of eternal suffering. I'm scared too,

demons worshiped the ground she walked on and barely paid

I wasn't," Ansel replies. "But why the

what

"You hid it in the

father wants it, then what better place to hide it if not a place full

else," Ansel exhales softly, releasing the smoke. "I'm intrigued but also shitting my pants. But fuck. I'll follow you

but I ask, "Do you love me, Ansel? Do you

But our love is forbidden," he says before

Forbidden?

My soul quakes.

that I love Ansel but no one will ever deny me

I declare before having Ansel take a drag from the cigar

the most in this entire world, but you are the one

like starved people before I pass the smoke back to him. I've never done something like this before, but it makes my clit throb. Fuck. I think I want Ansel to fuck me. Something

Tyson said there's nothing wrong with me. He might have been awful to me, but he is not a liar. At least in that moment, he was being truthful