Shackled (The Lord Series) by Amy T

298. Olivia - We belong to you I

How do I explain what's wrong with me when I can barely make sense of the turmoil inside me? How can I explain to three men who did absolutely nothing wrong that I feel like a slut because I enjoyed something that is natural?

Mose's eyebrows shoot up. "Olivia?"

I cover my face with my palms. "I am so sorry," I sob.

"What did we do wrong?" Jasper's question makes me feel even worse because it's not their fault.

Tyson comes to me. When he picks me up, I bury my face in the crock of his neck and cry softly against his skin. He has no idea how much it means to me. I don't expect him to be by my side, yet he always comes to me when I need him. Both of us are broken in different ways, and the only time when we are whole is when we are together.

"You did nothing wrong," Ansel says.

I know this, but there are a thousand voices in my head calling me slut, among many other things. My brain tries to understand why Ansel won't do the same as Carlos while in bed. When we are not fucking, I feel like I can trust Ansel with my life, but in the bedroom, he and the others have complete control over my body, their desires and needs above anything else. They don't even know that I'm willing to let them do whatever they want to me because it has been wired inside my head from the moment I entered the Celestial Heaven. Carlos and Jason always claimed that the Lords and the Dukes only like submissive women who always do what they are told and never talk back. The men have the right to correct their wives whenever they misbehave. I am not the wife of Ansel or his blood-brothers, but I might as well be. I already let him know that I am willing to marry him. If I do, will he abuse me like all the other men in my life did?

Rueben hit me with his belt when I scratched his face. It wasn't my intention, but I was scared, and I didn't know what was happening. And Mose spanked me.

This time I didn't do anything wrong, but then why do I feel like I need to be punished?

"She needs a moment," Tyson says and walks away with me before the others can stop him. He takes me to his office and locks the door behind us. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks after he sits on the sofa with me in his lap.

wrong with me, then that's him. "How can I enjoy something that was forced on me for so long? It's wrong and dirty...." My voice doesn't hide the disgust I feel

it is between consensual adults," Tyson

head, frustrated. "Then why do I feel like I

you feel pressured to do something you didn't want to?" Tyson is

him. "Whatever happened

don't see what's the

can I make him understand why I'm so upset? "I enjoyed being fucked. What is wrong with me?" I

nothing wrong with

wouldn't understand what I'm going through. "It

disappear. The tricky part will be getting them out of the kitchen

not as easy

shivers all over my body. I press my lips

about lying to me because

pain produced by the idea of me betraying our love was so great that it blinded him. I shouldn't find excuses for

trust someone who

him, but what good will it do? I always thought that evil can't be fought with evil. Two wrongs will never make a right.

circles on

look at his bookcase full of books. How many of them have been written by Tyson? "It feels good," I say, my gaze still on