Shadows In Durango

Chapter 117

*****Sofia's POV*****

"I feel terrible!" I whisper out in a breath, only loud enough for myself to hear it, before I sink back down in to my chair.

The moment Vincent walked away, I felt empty once again, the waiting room being a time for me to fully look back and reflect on everything that had happened - everything I had done wrong.

His absence was immediate, as if the air had been sucked out of the space as though he couldn't stand to be around us for a second longer. He left us behind with nothing but the oppressive stillness and the dull hum of the hospital machines running in the background.

Luckily Emma had brought me pyjamas to wear (proper ones) not like the scratchy fabric I was found in and as for my matted hair and bruised up body, there wasn't much to be done with that right now...

I swallow hard, annoyed that I somehow thought I would feel back to my normal self the second I was out of there and away from Ashton, but right now, I probably felt worse...

Worse knowing that I had hurt so many people with my foolishness and stupidity!

Reid hadn't moved either, his leg still bouncing nervously as he stared down at the floor, clearly worried for his friend, and I could see the tension settled in his jaw, the same unspoken fear that was gripping all of us. Daryl was still in surgery, still fighting for his life and it was all my fucking fault.

I tried to blink back the tears burning the corners of my eyes, but it was no use. The pressure had been building for way too long, and now that Vincent had been and gone, there was nothing left to hold me together. Emma squeezed my hand gently, like she could sense the storm brewing inside me, but even her quiet support couldn't stop the flood from coming.

I covered my face with my hands, my chest tightening as the sobs eventually broke free. "This is all my fault," I whispered louder, my voice cracking under the weight of the words.

Emma immediately shifted closer to me, wrapping her arms around me, but her embrace only made the guilt worsen. "Sofia, no "

"It is!" I choked, pulling away from her. The tears were falling freely now, hot and fast, and I couldn't begin to control them.

I didn't care who saw me. I didn't care about anything except the overwhelming guilt eating me alive from the inside out.

"If I hadn't left Vincent's house that night... if I would have just stayed to talk things out with him... If I hadn't have been stupid enough to walk down that street alone so late at night... if I had just told Vincent about Ashton being in town... none of this would've ever happened to us!" My voice grows with each explanation, each one acting like a punch of reality.

all

her head, her eyes soft with sympathy. "You couldn't

I screamed, startling

same asshole from before! Every damn sign was there to alert me that I wouldn't be safe here with him in town and I just ignored it!" I continue on, ignoring the nurses who stare and whisper nearby - no doubt worried about my

But I didn't care!

it. The words had been locked up inside me for hours, and now they were spilling out, raw

in there, and it's all my fault!" I choke out, allowing for my head to fall forward back in to my hands as

so much pain to those who stepped up to help me when

I had here... the life I had carefully tried to rebuild for myself...

was a danger to them all at this point! My life was a curse,

helpless and alone. Daryl bursting in to save me, taking a bullet that was no doubt meant for me, because I was hiding out on the roof too scared to fight back and face him

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a fucking psycho. This wasn't your fault, and Daryl would say the

his face a mixture of pain

at

when he got here, wouldn't even let me touch him... And why would

bed, hooked up to machines, fighting to stay alive. I was the wedge that had landed between them both before all of this too. Their relationship

a disgrace to the

me. I could see it in his eyes,

worst part was that I blamed myself for it all

It was my fault.

All of it.

as I finally look up again. "I'm the reason this happened. I'm the reason Daryl's in there. I'm the

than ever before, but her warmth couldn't reach me fully. Nothing could.

anything," Emma murmured, her voice gentle but firm. "You survived, Sofia. That's what you are, a survivor. Daryl went in there to save you because he knows how important you are to each and every