Chapter 73

I continued to s**, heartbroken at everything I knew I was losing my mother's voice in my head continued to scream how useless and worthless I was. How I was to much trouble to love, and no one would ever want me. I tangled my fingers through any hair, f**g it and pulling as hard as I could, trying to get the hamble voice to leave. "NO, no, no," I wailed, 1 began rocking back and forth, allowing my head to hit the cabinets behind me. Maybe if 1 hit my head hard enough the voice would shut up.

Before I could do anything to hurt myself, I felt a set of hands grabbing my shoulders trying to calm me. When someone tried to pick me up. I froze for a second. and then my fight response locked in, and I started to fight against whoever was holding me. Screaming and crying the whole time, begging for my guys to come back, promising I would be easier to love. I could feel movement and heard voices-amund me, but I couldn't tell one wire from another. I continued crying, pleading, and calling for my guys to come back. That I loved them all, and I was sorry, and I didnt want to be alone. More voices surrounded me, hands touching me, there was more movement, and the sensation of being lowered down, big arms were wrapped around me again, and the small part of my brain that was still working told me I was being held on someones lap. I continued to wiggle, trying to escape; another set of hands were on my shoulders now, trying to hold me still There was a stab of pain in my arm and then a stinging sensation. I continued to cry calling for my guys, as more hands tried to hold me still. My brain began to feel slow and fuzzy, the fight response leaving my body, the feeling of warmth washed over my body; the voices sounded further and further away, and that was the last thing I noticed before everything went dark Bit by bit my brain started to come back online. The first thing I noticed was how cory and warm I was. I could feel bodies pressed on either side of me, and I so wanted to sink back into oblivion. I felt like I had been run over by a truck, and the truck had backed up and run over me again, everything hurt including my hair. 1 had almost no memory of what happened earlier. I remember talking to Patrick about all of us sitting down and talking, making breakfast, and eating. Then I was feeling anxious about talking to everyone at once, and leaving the table. After that, everything was confusing. A strange fuzzy mess of sensations that made no

another arm across my waist, and after squirming a little I was able to see Drew pressed against my back. I didn't recognize the room I was in, but knowing Patrick and Drew were next to me, I wasn't scared. After a few more

still, eyes

in place, I turned my head to the left and paused even more confused. In the low light. I could see two beds pushed together. I was on one, sandwiched between Patrick and Drew, while Mike and the twins were spread across the other. I still didn't recognize where we were; the blinds had all been drawn down over the windows, allowing the room to stay dim, even though I could see the sun shining

made just enough noise, because Patrick and Drew both sat up, their eyes zeroing in on me. "What happened? Why do I feel like I have been run over by several large trucks, and where are we? Why are we all on one enormous bed?" I took a breath after listing off my most important questions, and I saw the guys shoot a glance at each other over my head.

and kissing my forehead. "Would you tell me what the hell is going un?" growled at Drew. Please." I tacked on as an afterthought. I must have been

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