Chapter 86: I Can’t Have His Child

Hanna

I didn’t bother to hang my coat up on the hook as I staggered through the door to the small cabin I shared with Kacidra. I tossed the coat to the floor, the thick fabric falling on the wide-plank floorboards in a wet snowy heap.

Kacidra wasn’t home. She had spent the last two nights with Pete, who was living in one of the cabins in the village. They were mates, and the connection had been intense, passionate. I saw the pattern, of course. Troy and Maeve. Ernest and Gemma. Even Keaton, the man who was the captain of the boat that both kidnapped and saw Maeve to safety, had found his mate in Maeve’s friend Myla.

Everyone on this prophesied path was finding their mates, including me. This was the definition of fate.

Apparently, Rowan and Maeve were at the center of it all. And then, there was my role.

| sunk to the floor in front of the couch, my head in my hands, and let myself cry.

I felt nothing but deep, painful guilt after listening to the unnamed old woman’s words. She was my great-aunt, my tie to Gayla, the Seer… Gayla, who must have known what my mother would become and the powers she held, the powers

she would give to one of her children.

I thought of the white roses on the temple grounds, how their

petals had littered the stone pavers after Tasia had destroyed the sanctuary. Tasia, who the people of Lycenna were afraid of but also worshiped. The same way they wanted to worship me.

The people who believed my future child would be the Moon Goddess herself.

But I didn’t have my powers any longer. I didn’t want them back. And I wouldn’t be the Goddess’s vessel of rebirth.

I peeked through my fingers, my eyes clouded with tears.

There was only one thing I could do to end the prophecy, to break the chain of events that were plaguing a family I had grown to love.

I needed to reject Rowan.

I sucked in my breath and wiped the tears from my cheeks, nodding at myself as I silently agreed to the inevitable.

But then there was a knock on the front door, and then a cold rush of air.

“Hanna? Goddess, it’s freezing in here,” Rowan crossed the threshold of the front door, shutting it firmly behind him before stalking toward the neglected wood stove.

I watched him in silence as he crouched in front of it, stoking the dying embers with pieces of kindling until a fire erupted from the ashes once again. He meticulously added pieces of split birch to the woodstove, arranging them in such a way that guaranteed a slow, hot burn. I couldn’t help but smile as | watched him, my heart squeezing in my chest.

Rowan, my Rowan.

He turned around, seeing me sitting against the foot of the couch. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? Maeve told me what happened at the castle.” He stepped forward, kneeling down in front of me and taking my chilled fingers in his.hands. “You’ re cold, Hanna.”

“I have to go home,” I whispered unsure if I meant for him to hear it or if I just needed to say the words aloud.

so that he faced me with

I needed to say

“Why?”

much… too much at

think is

lingered behind his eyes, something that told me he had known this conversation

she wants the stones.

  1. go. I need to bring the stones with me when I do. You cannot follow.”

won’t allow you to do that.” The firmness in his voice sent a chill up my spine. I looked up at him, his face

together. The consequences are too great. If we have a child… that

what that senile old woman said? About our

don’t you believe that could be possible after everything that’s

lifetime ago, Hanna. There is no going back now. I won’t let you run. I won’t let you sacrifice yourself for my

“Your family,”

a cult, whatever you want to call it! Mom is seeing to the refugees for now, but they mean to continue north, over the ice-pack. What they think they’ll find there, I

enough to mortally wound your mother.

of the

have to let me

me, pinning me to the couch. His face was only inches from mine, his

face between his

I fought the urge to cry as he pulled away, not

  1. to.

me again, this time harder, the kiss needy and final. I opened my mouth to his,

let you go,” he said in a raspy voice, his words tickling the skin on my neck. His mouth moved along my jaw, his fingers tangling in my hair as he gently pulled my head back so I looked up

were warm against my

sending whispers of light through the

I kissed him deeply. He was gentle with his touches as he explored me, his mouth moving from mine to my neck to my collarbone, lingering there for a moment before he dipped down to

something deep within me. Something I had been holding back for months. Something that could ruin any chances of letting

only invitation he needed.

against him as he carried

ribs as he took a step back, looking down at me. Heat flashed behind his eyes as he reached down, his fingers lingering on his belt buckle. I stared at him, taking him in. Trying to memorize every single inch

me to say no, to say yes… to say anything. I swallowed back the mingled fear and despair threatening to take hold of me, and nodded, my mouth parting

an instant, standing naked at the foot of the bed. I tried to keep my eyes on his face, afraid to let them wander. This was it for us. I wanted to remember

thick fleece-lined leggings I was wearing and my panties. I was totally bare, completely exposed to him now. I didn’t try to

hands ran down the length of my thigh, his thumb pressing into the flesh behind my knee

way he touched me in all the right places felt as

time. I felt electric. His touch sent sparks shooting down my legs and warmth between them, a nagging ache that threatened to take over

feel the tears threatening to spill over my lashes as I opened my mouth. He ran his tongue along my

legs, his fingers gliding against the growing wetness. Nothing had ever felt better than his touch against my tender

“Rowan,” I breathed, “please…”

drawn-out goodbye. He said my name, the sound of it

hung high in the cloudless sky. Rowan was sleeping with his arm around me, his fingers limp against my hip

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