Chapter 14: Now, or Never

♦Lena*

Xander came through the doorway and turned to close and lock the door. He stood there for a moment, his hand lingering on the lock as he took a deep breath.

"I think we're safe-" I began, but he shook his head, glancing at me over his shoulder before turning to face me fully.

"What’s your plan with the man from the bar?" he asked hotly, and I straightened my back a little.

"Ben offered to show me around the village the next time the workers from the estate go to town, that’s all.*

"Is that all?" he asked, taking a single step in my direction.

"Y-yes, Xander. He was just being kind."

I felt a little heated. Xander knew I didn't date. He knew I was focused on my studies to the fullest extent. Ben had offered me something that I wanted, that was all. I wanted to see the village and the people who lived there. I wanted to ask him questions only a local could answer. It wasn't like Ben had asked me on a date.

But Xander had proved to be possessive and territorial already. And, of course, we'd kissed. That definitely added a layer of complications to our situation.

"You need to watch your back, Lena. I can’t always be around to keep an eye on you," he said, his voice catching in his throat. He was giving me an odd look, something I couldn’t quite decipher. I knew Ben had made him jealous, or at least territorial. I hoped it was the latter.

"I don’t need you to watch out for me, Xander. I don’t expect that from you. I... this is for school, okay? I’m not here to do... anything else. I think it’s best we... just focus on our studies, and be friends-"

"I can't be your friend," he said, his eyes flashing with frustration. It was dark in the cottage, save for the woodstove that was burning down to embers. I swallowed, adrenaline rushing over my skin as he took another step toward me.

I knew what would happen if I kissed him again. I wanted to, somewhere deep within me, but I also knew once I went there, there was no going back. Xander got whatever he wanted, whoever he wanted, based on his reputation at school. He'd already been seeing Jen. That should have been enough for him.

"You have Jen-"

"I don’t care about Jen," he said with annoyance, now standing so close to me I could reach out and touch him with my fingertips. I’d been taking a step away from him every time he took a step forward, and now I was standing in the doorway of the bedroom. The air was electric, the tension so thick I could cut it with a knife.

I knew we were both stressed out from the shock of the last week. I knew we were both tired. I realized, as Xander took another step in my direction, effectively closing the distance between US, that I didn't have much fight left in me.

I'd been fighting against myself, my feelings, and my desires for my entire life.

So, when he leaned in, his lips hovering above mine, I surrendered to what I truly wanted but didn't have the strength to admit.

I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, a single curl coiling around my finger as I looked up into his dark eyes. I hadn't noticed the deep cinnamon of his irises, or the soft gold flakes around the outer rim. He brushed his lips against mine as softly as possible, his hand rising to cup my cheek.

Now, or never.

me in place as he deepened the kiss. A wave of longing, hot and desperate, washed over me as he backed me into the bedroom, his lips not leaving mine for even an instant. I felt the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed. but he didn't lay me

sides, then he pulled my shirt off over my head, kissing me on the forehead as the chill of the night crept over my skin, giving me gooseflesh. I felt myself cowering, dropping my head as I took a single step closer to him to shield my body from his gaze. No man had ever seen me without a shirt on before. He kissed me on the forearm as he pulled me into his, his hand releasing my bra’s clasp so quickly I hadn't even felt it happen until the

you're beautiful," he said, his voice a hoarse growl as he ran his fingertips over the skin of my belly. I swallowed back my

said, but my voice

my chin, lifting my face so I had no choice but to look into his eyes. "You do something to me that I've never felt before," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss me again. "What is this, Lena? Tell me you can feel

making me weak in the knees. I was gripping him by the upper arms, my hands running over his exaggerated muscles beneath his long-sleeve shirt. I couldn't answer him, I had no words lingering

his shirt and over the tight, smooth muscles of his abdomen. He was hot to the touch, almost feverish.

up to the other side of his chest, he hissed, wincing in pain as I came in contact with

"What happened?"

It sent a surge of

shirt,

muscle, just above his nipple. The bruise around

and he squinted, covering his eyes for a moment while I hastily pulled my sweater over my head. I gasped, bringing my hands to my mouth as my eyes widened.

up to touch the bandage. He looked pale all of the sudden, his eyes glossing over as the pain of his touch radiated

"Xander, it looks terrible!"

to peel the bloodied bandage away, but then stopped, pitching forward into my arms. I screamed as he fainted, his body knocking me over

"XANDER!"

face several times but he was knocked out cold. I heard the front door open, and Henry called out, then in a split second he was standing in the door. His eyes were wide as

"Something's wrong with him-'

her way forward, looking just as pale as Xander. I looked over Xander's shoulder, noticing for the

in my direction, pulling Xander off me as though he weighed nothing. My eyes didn't leave Henry and Xander as Henry lowered him into the floor. He

bile rising in my throat as

moving quickly toward the woodstove and grabbing the kettle and

from the village?" I heard Henry say as

"Not until Sunday-"

this stays

my knees and running into the bedroom. "We need to get him

on his knees next to Xander, rifling through the large metal medkit Bethany had fetched. I was

give everyone a pet name, or just me?" I hissed, my anxiety heightening as I watched him open a muslin bag full of a blackened, dried herb I couldn't identify based on first glance. It stunk, and I wrinkled my nose. "He

back until you have the boiling water for his bandages!" Henry's sharp

can help him!" I pleaded, swallowing

at me, narrowing his eyes. "I said

Lena. It's going

a ragged, choking sound that startled all three of US. He tried to sit up, his face contorted in pain

then

is crying out Jen's name. Not

I turned and opened one of the drawers in the kitchenette that housed the oven mitts and also grabbed a large, metal

the towels," he commanded, releasing Xander's shoulders. He was grinding the pungent herbs into a fine powder, holding his breath while he did so. I wanted to ask what it was, but no words escaped my lips as I dunked the towels into the

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