Chapter 16 : All I Could Feel Was Him

♦Lena*

I wanted nothing more than to crawl into my sleeping bag and close my eyes. I was exhausted. I truly hadn’t slept much at all over the past week. This was not at all how I'd envisioned my time spent on my field study.

I was meant to be researching the plant samples and soil, determining the best course of action for the area to not only improve their harvests but also gather information on the area's flora as a whole to add to my report that I was required to turn in to Morhan.

Instead. I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed I shared with Xander, unwinding iris bandages.

"It looks so much better," I whispered, in awe of the abrupt change taking place on his skin. I’d expected the wound to be large based on the damage it had done to his body, but it was small, just a few teeth marks where the swelling had gone down.

"I'll get the sample we need." he said, closing his eyes as he laid back against his pillow with his hands behind his head, "while you're back on campus."

It wasn't a question. I knew pushing the subject would be fruitless.

"I need to put new bandages on you-"

"I'm fine for a minute. I've been wearing them all day."

I placed my hands in my lap. pursing my lips. Bethany had brought me a medical kit. but it didn't have the herbs and tinctures Hemy's medkit possessed. It was obvious to me that Henry's medkit was for him. and him alone.

"Well." I sighed, rising from the bed. "I'm going to read for a bit. I brought my textbooks on the medical uses of plants local to tills area-"

"Lena, we're both exhausted. Please, just sleep."

"We need to know-"

"You're not going to find what you're looking for in those books." His eyes were closed as he spoke, on the edge of sleep himself “The bed's warm. Lay down, okay?"

"Not until you have fresh bandages." I protested.

He sighed deeply, then shrugged, which was invitation enough for me to get on with it. I grabbed the medical kit off the kitchenette counter and brought it back into the bedroom. I rifled through the contents, finding antibiotic ointment and several rolls of fresh bandages.

"I'm going to go wash my hands." I said, looking down at the supplies to make sure I had everything I needed. Xander could easily do this himself, but I knew he wasn't going to. He'd let the wound get infected again before he made a big deal out of it.

I did all the little things I needed to do in order to get ready for bed. brushed my teeth, then washed my hands thoroughly. By the time I'd changed into pajamas and my hands were so clean they were raw. I found Xander sitting up in bed. looking toward the window

"Did you see something?" I asked as I came back into the room.

He shook his head, turning in my direction, his face void of expression. "Let's get this over with." he mumbled, his shoulders falling a bit as I stood hi front of him, positioning myself between his knees as I bent to my task.

"This is going to scar. I think you should've gotten stitches, honestly."

"No. thanks.' he said with a brief smile, then shook his head as if thinking of some long-forgotten memory. “I've never needed them."

"Me neither." I murmured as I rolled the bandage over his chest and back to hold the piece of ointment-soaked gauze over the wound m place.

“Why does talking about the royal family make you so uncomfortable?" he asked, abruptly changing the subject.

I blinked, then met his eye. "What do you mean?"

"Over dinner, when everyone was talking about the Princes of Poldesse."

"It's just gossip." I replied, feeling a slight tightening hi my stomach. I tucked the loose end of the bandage in place over his chest.

all anyone wants to talk

"Not you. though."

"No. not me."

"Do you know them?"

put the supplies back hi the

“The princes?"

the medkit. chewing on the hiside of my cheek. "Why would you

closely, tilting his head to the side as I

little defensive when Prince

situation is sad. that's all. It's rude to speculate on what really happened and gossip about it." I couldn't hide the bite in my voice. My cheeks reddened as I scooped up the medical supplies, turning from the

"Why would you care?"

kept my face neutral as I walked to the opposite wall and turned out the light. Now. he couldn't see the emotions playing over my face as I climbed

settled into our sleeping bags. I was lying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling when Xander turned to me. his arm tucked under

is rumored to be

even know that? No one

“Weird, right?"

was rude to gossip about them."

not gossip.

just doesn't like being out in public and

what it's

who wanted to go to sleep. Xander." I closed my eyes and began

he said, shrugging his

alone." I grumbled as I turned away from him, rustling my sleeping

“Fine," he replied.

my eyes to stare blankly at the wall. It was raining

on me. yet again. I knew Xander was still awake. He was facing my back, the two of us only inches away

rustle, and then the bed creaked as he moved closer to me. effectively spooning himself around me while

my sleeping bag. wanning me from within. His aim came around me. pulling me closer,

to annoy me."

no room on here with the

wasn't wrong,

chest rise and fall, then he cleared his

I know

"It's fine-"

"Not to me."

"We're not together. Xander."

pretty together to me." he whispered

desire as his breath

him. None of what had happened had changed that for me. But I couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't meant to be. Every tune we were alone together, like we were now, we were pulled apart by some catastrophe. It was a warning, at least to me. that this wasn't fate. Xander had put himself in my way, but

least. I wanted

to spill over my lashes. I was inches away from falling

gooseflesh up my anus. He wanted me as

once before. I had to make

of my face,

I was a goner.

matter of moments before we were out of our sleeping bags. Xander was on top of me. kissing me deeply

in? Would a flash

lowering himself on top of me and resting

whispered, hying to push the doubt out of my mind as

nudging my head to the side so he had access

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