Sold as the Alpha King’s Breeder

Chapter 37 : This Isn’t the End

*Lena*

Another night with Xander. Another night tangled in the sheets of liis bed with my head resting on his chest. Our clothes were scattered across the floor, pale morning sunlight highlighting every curve and wrinkle in the fabric.

He was still asleep, his chest rising and falling as I snuggled in the crook of his ami.

We'd be boarding the train tonight to an uncertain future.

I'd been up for a while, waking as the sun began to rise and cast long pink rays of light through the frost-covered windows. My heart was heavy. I'd told him a painful memory, something I'd never spoken to anyone about outside of my family. I'd been vague, but I'd expected my willingness to show him a side of myself no one else knew would open him up to me.

But he'd deflected, again. He'd pushed me and pushed me until I broke and then retreated, covering up his unwillingness to be open about who he really was with kisses.

I realized then that any feelings of hope that Xander and I would be together, be a couple, be mates-it was ridiculous. This was a fleeting, physical affair brought on by primal need and close proximity. I knew better than this.

I'd never know if he was my mate. Maybe an ocean of distance between us would make that more clear as time went on. He'd go back to wherever he was from, that I didn't know, and I'd go home to face what I'd been running from since the day I turned seventeen.

‘’Do you want to go get breakfast? There's a bakeiy down the street." he said softly, his eyes still closed and his cheeks ruddy from the warmth of our closeness.

‘‘I didn't realize you were awake," I replied, trying to sit up, but his ami that was wrapped around my waist held me in place.

‘’I've been up for a while. I didn't want to..." he tapered off. yawning as he blinked a few times and turned to look down at me. I reached up and ran my fingertips along his cheek and jaw where the beginnings of a beard was visible.

‘•What are we doing, Xander?" I asked, unable to hide the hurt in my voice.

He was quiet for a moment, and I thought he'd never answer. "Do you even like me?"

"Of course I do," I said, but my voice hitched with emotion. Did he not realize that?

"What do you want, Lena, from me?"

Every girlish notion of romance rushed to the forefront of my mind. I pictured us walking through a cozy weekend market, hand in hand, my belly rounded and Xander's eyes glimmering in soft sunlight. I pictured a small house with stone walls and blue shutters, the windows open and cream-colored curtains drifting lazily in the wind while I pulled a roast from the oven. Xander laughing as he stood by the sink, drying dishes. Children with his same dark, wary hair laughed over plates of mashed potatoes and chicken, their faces and hands grubby as I poured them more milk.

But then I saw distant, snow-covered mountains. I saw an ice-covered inlet with a temple tucked upon its shore. I saw me. alone, standing along the rocky beach.

I wanted to cry My throat tightened so abruptly that I found it hard to swallow back my heartbreak.

"I don't know what my future holds-"

do," he interrupted, his fingertips tracing circles along the curve

for

it's not

to decipher the unreadable emotion playing behind

know you. Xander. I wouldn't know

don't know how to explain

"You have to try!"

lines of uncertainty edged around his eyes. I knew then what his answer would be. I could see it, plain as

he said, his voice even, "but

my skin hit by a burst of cool air as our bodies separated. I quickly gathered my clothes and walked

"Lena-"

"It's fine-"

need to talk about this,"

Xander.

waiting a moment for the water to warm before I slipped inside and let the sound of the spray hitting the

was being foolish. I was being stupid. There was no room for a man in my

I loved him. And I would never say so. Not

I browsed nonetheless, purchasing nothing more than a bag of whole bean coffee to give to my roommates when I returned. We'd all be home from our field studies, all of us but Abigail. She'd likely still be

I'd forgotten about it, and found myself sitting in a small cafe staring blankly out the window, wondering how the

truth soon enough. And she'd hate me. I should have told her before I left

against the anxiety crippling

the seat next to me where I'd set my backpack down and ran my fingers over the pocket

eyes settling on me with

you today," she smiled, sitting

of cider for the table and a few

I sipped from my now tepid cup of cider. It was rich, and fragrant, and I wondered if the apples used to make it had come from Ben's orchard. I felt a

if she read my mind, Bethany said, "The estate is being shuttered. I'm moving in with Gideon and his family until there's news of Elaine and Henry's whereabouts." She paused, glancing out of the window as a couple passed by on the other side of the glass.

I did. I'd already resigned myself to the fact that I was being left out

important. If they... if they're dead, they had each other at least. They didn't die alone." Bethany swallowed, her eyes flicking over to mine. She looked rested, and had a little color in

I, but we had the opportunity to leave it all behind. She didn't: at least, she wasn't ready

I promise-" I took her hand in mine across the table,

come back here. Lena. You and Xander.

"We're not... together-"

in so we weren't overheard, "do you not remember what Elaine told you the night she read your palm? Are you sure

across my palm

I breathed, just