Chapter 42: I Killed Him

*Lena*

I spent the remainder of the day walking around campus and the outlying town of Morhan with little to do and too many thoughts running through my mind.

I was graduating, that was clear, and in less than a week I'd be on a flight to Avondale to reunite with my family. My phone call with Oliver had been brief. My aunt and uncle wanted nothing more than to talk to me, and we didn't have much privacy. But it was obvious he was starting to crumble under the weight of his situation.

We both knew fleeing the scene entirely wasn't the answer. We'd have to grit our teeth and get through Winter Solstice and the events surrounding the wedding of who he still believed was the love of his life and his brother.

And then there was that strange woman standing in as the dean and her questions about Xander. I couldn't have answered even if I tried. I barely knew him. I realized that more and more with each passing day.

I had no idea when he was coming to fetch me from my apartment and what we'd be doing or even talking about.

Reeling, that's what I was. I was reeling, and nothing was helping.

I stopped in front of a shop sometime in the late afternoon. The sun was starting to set, golden light flooding between the buildings and casting long shadows over the snow piles lining the sidewalks. I looked at the dress that was on display; long and modern, with an empire west and deep burgundy organza fabric trailing to the floor. It had a full shirt, an off-the-shoulder neckline, and long, loose sleeves that tapered at the wrists.

I could think of nothing else but the dress for a moment and sighed with relief as I pressed my hand to the frosted window. There was even a tiara to match, but the gems were likely fake. Thick, oval-shaped rubies were set in gold, and I imagined the tiara on my head, my hair woven through the star-shaped notches on the base of the crown.

I walked inside the shop, looking at nothing but the dress as a woman walked to my side.

"Try it on," she said. "I know that color will look perfect on you."

"I don't need to try it on." I replied, starry eyed as I ran my fingers over the fine fabric. Red. Blood red. Blood red at my cousin's wedding. Why the hell not?

The shop girl was surprised but didn't question me as I reached for my wallet and pulled out a handful of paper bills. Her eyes were wide as I paid in full, probably wondering how a college student dressed in a three-season old parka and faded flannel could afford such an expensive dress. A few minutes later the dress was packed into a box, and she slid it across the counter, arching her brow.

"Would you like this shipped anywhere? Or are you taking it home-"

"Shipped, please, if it can reach its destination in a week's time."

"That won't be a problem," she replied, but her pen paused as she took down the address I provided, then my name. She looked up at me, sudden understanding flickering across her delicate features. She curtsied low, bobbing her head.

"I didn't realize-"

"It's alright," I said lightly, giving her a soft, genuine smile as she straightened to her full height. She was a little pale. She nodded, looking as though she was about to burst into tears.

often that people ran

hadn't been seen in public in

***

pasta dinner and a bottle of wine. I was

I thought it was Xander. I

But it wasn't Xander.

my throat tightened into a knot. Adrenaline rushed through me, and I attempted

shopping spree?" he hissed, closing the distance

of wine over his head, I thought. I could push him

Come, I have a whole night planned-" He attempted to grab my arm but I shoved past him. He grabbed the hood of my parka, yanking me backward, the top of

off of me!" I screeched, but

my mouth as he dragged me into an alleyway, into the dark,

his skin between my teeth, and he stifled a scream. I bucked against him until he loosened his hold on me, but I was still in his

been carrying, the wine bottle splintering into nothing but shards of glass and spilling wine onto the snow, illuminated by the street light. I looked at the wine stain as Slate dragged me further into the alleyway, panic tightening my chest and making it almost impossible to

something buried in the snow and I fell on top of him, his hand temporarily leaving

in on my apartment. But there was no one around.

me.

couldn't

began to ripple over me as Slate pulled me to my feet, cursing

b***h! I'll drag you. I

rolling over my skin and settling in my fingertips. I knew what was happening and tried to fight it like usual, but only for a second. What if

cradling me like a child, his fingers digging into my parka so sharply they ripped open the

watched it, my head lolling on

From far away I heard Slate scream, his voice mingled with a buzzing sound that filled my ears and deafened me.

I'd been lying in the alley, alone. Fresh snow blanketed my

and the groceries I had dropped where thickly covered with

thought, a feeling of dread washing over me.

it, but still. I might have blown him to bits

empty, no sign of violence or struggle. He was just...

hand against one wall of the alleyway for support

to move.

wasn't a sound around me; even the buzzing neon lights were shushed into silence as I looked around then crawled forward and brushed the

and snow had already piled up in front of the entrance. I'd been out here for hours, just laying in the alleyway, and no one had

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