Chapter 48: He's Gone

*Lena*

Heather was pacing back and forth across the living room of our apartment, her face screwed up in a vicious scowl. I was sitting on the couch, my cheeks tear-stained and the tender skin above my left breast throbbing painfully as Viv held my hand, toying with my fingers to mask her own nerves.

"And he didn't even walk you home?" Heather spat, her face flaming with fury.

I choked back a sob and nodded, to which Heather replied by throwing her hands in the air and stifling what could have only been

a scream.

"F*ck these Morhan men, seriously," Viv mumbled, her face flushed of all color as she glanced at me, then down to where Xander's mark was, although it was hidden by several layers of clothing, and a thick robe, at this point.

I was freezing. Everything hurt. I felt like I was being torn to shreds from the inside out. Rejection. It had to be rejection. How could I have been so stupid?

"I say we kill him," Heather said sharply.

I would have thought she was joking or trying to make me feel better, but her expression was deathly serious. “I'll be fine," I cried, but I didn't feel fine.

"What the f*ck was he thinking! Marking you, then kicking you out-" Heather was raging.

I'd never seen her like this before, and if I hadn't been on the verge of a total breakdown, I would have been incredibly impressed by her ability to throw herself into this kind of fury.

I was crumbling. My entire body was shaking as Viv tightened her grip on my hand.

This kind of anguish should have sent me into a tailspin and ignited my powers. But for whatever reason, all I felt was grief.

My fingers weren't prickling. Plants weren't growing between the gaps in the hardwood floor, and I hadn't obliterated my roommates in a burst of light.

I was just devastated, and for the first time in my life, I was able to feel every single excruciating emotion without it causing me to spiral out of control.

Normally I'd retreat. I'd back myself into the darkness, looking for the door to the secret place, the garden I kept hidden in my mind.

I hadn't been able to find it today. I was numb to everything but the pain radiating through my body.

Xander had sent me home in a pair of his sweatpants and sweater that hung so loosely from my body that I had to hold my pants up as I walked the five blocks between our apartments. Xander was a mess, fighting with Adrian the entire time I dressed, the argument spilling into the hallway and down the stairs into the lobby of the apartment building.

At first I thought someone must have died based on the severity of the fight, or that we were under attack. He was frantic, pulling on a coat and hat and practically pushing me out the door, telling me to go straight home without giving me a single second to ask why, or what had happened.

He stalked off down the street, in the opposite direction, while I stood on the snowy sidewalk in my walk of shame outfit, the sweatpants I was wearing covering the black leather boots I'd worn the night before, which were useless in the thick snow.

Adrian had tried to apologize, but I had been too shocked to register what he'd said. He took off after Xander, leaving me alone.

I was halfway home. The ribbon woven through my body, tying me to Xander, felt

Xander and I had chosen each other only hours before. The tears had started to fall when I

I thought. You i***t. You knew better. This went against everything you promised yourself,

by my roommates as they tried

was leaving tomorrow. It was a

watching Heather and Viv argue about what could be done, I felt a sudden, inexplicit peace wash over me. I leaned

of me,

quivered, then slackened, its hold around my heart falling away as the throbbing of

forward as I tried to fill my lungs and

the kitchen and

Heather pleaded, but I

down

but I shook my head, cutting her off as I turned to look at

said softly, my voice losing

still looking as fierce

anymore. It doesn't hurt." I

Heather

said anything after that. I padded to my room, shutting the door behind

rolled out of bed, finding the apartment empty as I walked

packing up for their journeys home for Winter Break. Their suitcases were open and half full. Little piles of clothes and shoes were scattered on the rug in front

an apology. I owed them endless thanks for caring for me repeatedly over

tell them the truth, just

rummaged through the desk in the far corner, finding two pieces of paper and a pen. I spent the next hour

heard Viv and

and I rolled out of bed before my mind could catch up with my body. I opened the

feeling of dread washing over me as the three of them

I asked, a lump forming in my throat. I reached up to touch the mark

and hoarse. His cheeks

"Where did he go?"

dropped off abruptly and

Heather snapped, just as irritated as she had been when I came home earlier in the day and told them

he asked us, turning back around

around nervously, and Heather looked somewhat

replied, narrowing my eyes at him. "What's going on? Does this have something to do

but his eyes told

pressed, but Adrian only shrugged, looking defeated. I wished that Viv and Heather weren't in the room so I could ask him for details. I knew he wouldn't tell me anything

"I don't know."

began, but Adrian

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