Sold as the Alpha King’s Breeder

Chapter 134 : I Hurt Her

*Maeve*

I followed Xander through the darkened corridors and down the stairs, my bare feet barely making a sound. Xander was exceedingly tall, taller even than Troy. Even being the tallest out of all the women in my family, I was panting as I tried to keep up with his long stride.

He had no idea where he was going, but I could tell he was trying to get out of the castle. He was going to shift; I could feel it. He was going to run.

But I wasn't going to let him.

“Stop!" I hissed when he finally found the door to the back garden. He froze, his fingers wrapped around the doorknob for the space of a breath before he pushed the door open and stormed out onto the back terrace. I huffed a breath and tore after him, thankful for the cool breeze that fanned over the exposed skin beneath my shorts. “Damnit, Xander. I said stop!"

He whirled around, baring his teeth at me. I could see tears glimmering in his eyes, which were nearly black in the pale light spilling from the open door behind us.

“I hurt her," he spat, fury sharpening each word to a brutal edge.

“Yeah, you did. But I can tell you're hurting much more than she is right now," I said, trying to keep my voice level. I could see a bruise forming along his jaw where I'd slapped him with my fingers curled into my palm. Blood still coated his lips, and his eyes were wide with horror–horror, and raging, infectious guilt that damn near snapped my heart in two. “You're not the only one going through this," I coaxed, still standing my ground. If he so much as looked like his wolf was going to take over, I'd take him to the ground. I'd pin him to the Goddess-damned concrete and force him to listen to me.

He was panting as well, his hands clenched into fists. He was trembling, but not from the cool breeze.

“Whatever you saw," I said, taking a cautious step forward, “it's gone now. It's over."

“Yet it replays over, and over again," he growled, “on a constant f*****g loop!"

“You need to talk to someone about what happened to you–"

“I can't," he snapped, his eyes shimmering with tears. “I don't want to think about it ever again–"

“Xander–" My voice broke around his name, especially as he hung his head and brought his hands to his face. I'd seen that same look in Oliver and Charlie's eyes–pure, unadulterated grief. Terror. Fear, and confusion. Whenever I looked at my sons, I saw them as they'd been when they were young, their eyes shining with excitement and wonder. Xander had been a little boy once. He'd been loved, cherished. He likely had someone back home who was crushed at the thought of him facing the violence we'd just defeated.

Those boys… these children… my children–they'd never be the same again.

“You're going to be alright," I said through a sob. Xander didn't look at me, his eyes downcast on the concrete. “Everything is going to be alright."

“I could have killed her," he whispered.

I swallowed against the sob threatening to spill from my throat and nodded. “How often is this happening?"

f*****g blink. I haven't slept

He was looking toward the forest, his eyes wide open but totally unseeing. He was still trapped inside

bedroom so quickly because I was already awake, panting in my sweat-soaked sheets while trying to get my heartbeat to regulate.

was here right now. He would know what to say to him. Troy always knew

nightmares too. So has Charlie, and… and I assume Oliver is having them as well...." I couldn't help the way my mouth pressed together and my eyes squeezed shut at the mention of Oliver. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I tried to hold in a sob. I felt Xander's hand on my shoulder, then he pulled me into his chest, holding me there while I came apart at

was… he seemed like

I knew that what he'd done

to the forest. I hadn't cried in a long time; I hadn't had

root tincture every few days," I said, hiccuping. “I tried it,

he taking blood root?" Xander sounded concerned, and when I met his eye, I noticed the flash of uncertainty darken his

will help with the… symptoms, after being bitten–chills, fever, things like that. Troy said it was helping some of our warriors with

it did nothing for

replied, wrapping my arms around myself. “I wasn't

house. I could feel his guilt and inner turmoil from where I was standing a few paces

going to be

sleep

you were doing that to her," I coaxed, but he shook his head, his face

running his hand over his face. “I thought some of this was just… being separated from my mate. I felt better today than I have in weeks, Maeve. But then the second I closed my eyes I just… it all came back." He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair and ruffling it in frustration. “My people are suffering. The warriors that came home are just–just as bad as

“Xander–"

mate. I was strangling her. I could've

talk to her about this," I pleaded. “Lena can help

the powers of the

what I'm

then what am I supposed to do? What if I hurt

say to him now? I didn't have the answers he needed. I wasn't his mate. I didn't know him like Lena knew him. I just

our world in half, and it would be years until we figured out how to pick up the pieces and

have blood root," I

“I will."

should talk to

Crimson Creek tomorrow,"

this far along, but neither of us would stop her. I'd