Chapter 105: Finding the Right Distraction

The next morning, I woke feeling cold and lonely. I rolled over on the bed. Jared's wolf was gone. I wasn't that surprised. We hadn't talked at all since he'd rejected me. I hadn't even seen his face. He was hiding behind his wolf.

I would have never thought Jared would be afraid to face me.

The packhouse was very empty and quiet when I pulled myself out of bed and went down to the kitchen for breakfast.

I didn't wake up in as much pain as I had the morning before, but I could still feel the awful sting and heartbreak of the rejection. I wondered if Jared's presence last night had helped ease the pain.

Even my wolf felt a little more settled and less scattered.

I spent the day in the garden, tending to the flowers and just finding anything to do that would keep my hands busy. I didn't talk to anyone or interact with anyone. I wasn't sure if that was helping me grieve or if it hurt more.

“Eliza, where is Eliza?"

“Oh, Goddess!" I groaned when my mother's voice echoed through the packhouse.

Before she could cause too much of a scene, I raced to meet her.

“Mom, I'm right here."

She smiled slightly at me and put a hand on my shoulder. “I didn't mean to sleep the day away. I went into your room to check on you and you were… you were gone."

I felt my brow furrow and then I understood she must have been just as frantic to find me when I disappeared from the Light Realm.

“I was just out in the garden."

“Yes. I see." She sighed and ran her fingers through my unruly, curly hair.

I hadn't done much in the way of hair care for the past few days.

“Mom, it's okay. I'm fine now."

“You still don't look fine. When was the last time you washed your hair?" She tugged my curls.

“Mom...." I batted her hand away. “It will just take a few more days for me to bounce back. But the curse is gone and my energy is returning."

“It isn't the curse that is dragging you down. Honey, I warned you about Jared. I warned you not to get into anything with him too quickly."

Scoffing, I took a step back.

“Is that why you're still here? You want to watch everything blow up in my face and tell me, 'I told you so?' You have no idea everything we've been through or why...."

I sighed and looked down. I had no idea why either, and I couldn't defend Jared's actions. But I did not need my mother waltzing in, adding insult to injury.

“I would if you would tell me. Eliza, I am your mother. You have a family that loves you and is worried sick about you. Did Jared explain himself? What did he have to say?"

“Mom, just go."

She flinched as if I'd hit her and took a step back. “I'm going to. Your father and I are getting ready to return home."

“I'm glad. I know you guys prefer the Light Realm to the Dark Realm."

“It is true. However, in light of what has happened, I think it would be best if you returned home with us." My mother held her hand out to me.

I shook my head. “No. I'm not going back!"

“Eliza, be reasonable. There is nothing here for you now."

“There's my life! This is my life still. I'm the one making the decisions and I'm choosing to stay here!"

My mother sighed and bowed her head. “Please, Honey, you belong in the Light Realm. Why do you want to stay after he rejected you?"

Anger welled inside of me and I couldn't even look at her anymore.

Crossing my arms, I stomped upstairs to my room. Snarling, I slammed the door shut. When I turned around, Jared's wolf was on the bed again, waiting for me.

***

*Jared*

With a heavy sigh, I opened my eyes. Once again, I was staring at the ceiling in Eliza's room. When I'd laid down here with her, I'd still been in wolf form.

Sometime in the night, I shifted back. Fortunately, Eliza was still sleeping and I didn't need to explain anything… yet.

That time would come… when I had a way to fix what I'd broken.

It was early. The sun had barely started to rise and the sky outside her bedroom window was a deep gray color.

I rolled on my side and watched Eliza sleeping.

She hugged her pillow to her cheek. Her bouncing, unruly curls splashed across her face and over the pillow. Eliza looked peaceful as she slept, but I knew she wasn't. I knew that underneath her soft features, she was in a lot of pain.

I'd done that to her....

When I thought back to that night, my blood pouring out, I hadn't been in my right mind.

Yet, if I'd had to do it all over again, hurting Eliza by rejecting her in order to save her life and the life of our baby… I'd do it again. Because if I hadn't, there was no guarantee that she'd be lying here next to me right now.

Mila had shown up in the nick of time. But if she hadn't, my sacrifice would have been the only way to save her.

Absently I reached out to her. I stopped, my hand inches from her face. As much as I wanted to touch her and feel her soft warmth against me, I knew I couldn't. It would be a violation after what had happened.

She tolerated the presence of my wolf, which was a good thing. I didn't think he'd take no for an answer. He had been adamant in watching over her and protecting her while she was in pain.

Sighing, I rolled onto my back and reached under the bed. There was a stack of books and scrolls I'd been keeping there for study. These early mornings while Eliza slept and I was beside her were the only times my mind felt at ease enough to get any reading done.

Not to mention, it was the only time my wolf was calm enough to let me think straight.

Whenever we were away from her, he was agitated and restless, thinking about how she and her wolf were alone and in pain while carrying our child.

I pulled out one of the books and flipped to the section on mate bonds.

Tucking my arm behind my head, I propped myself up and I started reading. There was a lot of lore around mate bonds–their origins, the deep connection between us and our wolves.

There were all kinds of stories about rejections and mates finding each other again after being separated for years and years.

I was reading everything I could on the subject to determine how to fix a broken mate bond.

So far, my research had been fruitless. Almost everything I read said that the rejection was final. I wouldn't believe that. Already, Eliza and I had overcome impossible odds.

We'd survived a curse and we'd managed to break it.

Now, I was back in a situation where everything I read was saying that repairing the bond was impossible. But Eliza and I had already done the impossible, which meant we could do it again.

She murmured in her sleep and shifted on the bed.

I glanced at her, watching as she rolled away, turning her back to me. She sighed and then relaxed again.

She'd been sleeping restlessly ever since I'd rejected her. Somehow, she'd handled the entire thing with such grace and eloquence. She hadn't been moping around or sobbing. She hadn't been clinging to me or asking everyone why this had happened to her.

I wouldn't blame her if she had been acting like that.

But she wasn't. She was keeping it together. She was shifting, attending to the garden. It pained me that I couldn't be a part of that with her.

I read a few more ##Chapters about mate bonds. It didn't tell me anything new and it didn't tell me anything I wanted to know.

I thought about contacting Mila and asking for her advice. She'd pretty much vanished again.

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