Strings of Fate

49- Decisions and determination

I’m not really watching, and I know that he is only watching to give me time to think. Time to sort through the rush of emotions I’m feeling. Can I really tell Megan the truth about her ties? Should I? From the very beginning that was my plan. I wrote her that note. It wasn’t until I met her and became her friend that I began to worry she would resent my interference. or choose Tristan over me. But didn’t I promise myself I was going to be the best friend she ever had? Would a good friend really let her go through with this marriage? As for Bellamy.. well, he does deserve the truth from me. The problem is I really don’t know how to give it. What truth is it that he needs to hear? If I start at the wrong place he will probably run and avoid me, or it will turn into a fight. I can feel my heart rate increase at the thought of having to face Bellamy properly. I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I take a deep breath to calm myself. I don’t need to do anything right this second, I can take some time to think. But Harry is right. I should try and be more honest. I’ve spent so long hiding, never sharing, never trusting. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but I need to change. If Megan and Bellamy are my prize at the immediately, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try. A feeling of determination comes over me. I need to do this. I’ll talk to Megan tomorrow, before it’s too late.

end then I think I can do it. I probably won’t get it Sht

My decision made, tension drains from me and the exhaustion that has been building inside me for months now hits me like a sledgehammer. Harrison notices the change in me.

“So you’ve made up your mind then?” I nod and he gives me a satisfied smile.

“Then my work here is done, you look half–dead. I should leave so you can get some sleep.

But call me if you need anything okay? And let me know how everything goes. I’m going to worry about you until I know you’ve sorted things out.” I nod tiredly and follow as Harrison. crawls out of the fort. I walk him the few steps it takes to reach the front door and open it to

let him out. Aaron immediately turns and looks us both over suspiciously. Harrison notices the look and a devious glint flashes in his eyes. He pulls me into a hug which I return. He releases me and heads for the stairs, calling out as he leaves.

“Thank you so much for your company this evening Ryann darling. It’s been wonderful. We’ll have to do this again sometime.” Okay so that comment was clearly for Aaron’s benefit rather than mine. I roll my Aaron’s eyes look like they’re going to fall out his skull they’re so

wide. He pulls out his phone again. I shake my head.

eves.

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least make sure you get the

settles down on the floor outside my fort. I set my alarm and snuggle into my pillows. Sleep comes to me easier than it has in months. I’m still restless and wake several times throughout the night, but I manage to get back to

6am I jump up. I woke up about thirty minutes ago and didn’t really

be different than the loop of work and sleepless nights I’ve locked myself into. My gut wrenches when I realise I am going to have to see Bellamy today, he’s going to be at Megan’s wedding after all. I haven’t seen him since I watched him walk out of Megan’s room that night. I was going to make myself some breakfast but the idea of food suddenly makes me feel dreadful. I think I’ll skip eating this morning, maybe I’ll snack once I reach Megan’s house. Again, I could run into Bellamy there. I haven’t been there since that night either. I decide that if I delay another twenty minutes so I arrive at seven I am just going to spend that twenty minutes making myself miserable. I may as well head off early. I doubt Megan is sleeping. I head out to the living area with my bag and phone and Aaron gets the idea. He

off by throwing

how I’ve been acting.” I whisper. I know she is technically

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something of a mother figure, I’ve never had one before and I didn’t realise how much I’ve been missing her until I saw her kitchen light this morning. I’ve spent the last few months avoiding life and everything that makes me feel like I’m

she asks. I shake my head against

anymore.” Maggie pulls back and assesses my face. She seems happy enough with what

I

but… maybe I could stop by for tea this week?”

he thinks of me. I know Shaun is my friend, he talks to me, or at least has been attempting to while I’ve been all miserable. But Aaron is so reserved. I always feel like he knows more about what’s going on than almost everyone else. I suppose

the corner of his eye. I’m a little confused. Is my behaviour this

you going to talk to Alpha Kane?” He clarifies. My heart rate increases at his question. I am still absolutely terrified at the thought.

need to talk to Bellamy too, I know, but…” I trail off. Aaron

small smile. Megan, Darrien and even Shaun have been telling me that same thing for months. But for the first time I think I