Strings of Fate

Strings of Fate

171- Perfume and progress

My dream or vision or whatever it is, somehow is exactly the same as all the others and completely different at the same time. It’s the same because I watch Kiara sleep, I can see her nightmares and pain and it’s the same because no matter how much I scream and struggle, no matter how hard I focus, she can’t seem to hear me, although for once I think I might be able to hear her. It’s different because I know I CAN talk to her which somehow makes my inability to actually communicate a hundred times more frustrating. I have a feeling that I won’t be able to contact her while I’m asleep. Maybe my unconscious mind isn’t capable of it or something because I feel less connected too. Maybe it only works when I’m awake and actively searching and connecting to her as opposed to when I’m asleep and don’t really have a choice in the matter. Or maybe I’m just doing this wrong. It’s not like I have a manual or anything. I don’t know how long I spend mentally yelling at Kiara, trying to get her attention. Eventually I move on to what is probably really creepy staring, or it would be if I was actually there any anyone actually knew I was watching. I’m near giving up entirely when a nightmare causes Kiara to jerk awake, tears in her eyes. She looks around wildly and she must be alone because her shoulders relax and the tears get heavier. My heart absolutely aches. After a while, her tears dry up and her voice is hoarse when she whispers.

“Hello? Lady? I don’t know if you’re really real or not. I probably made you up. But I hope you’re real. It was nice to hear someone say my name instead of calling me ‘girl‘ or other names that my mum says I’m definitely not allowed to

say.” She sighs deeply.

“I’m probably just talking to myself. You’re probably not real.” Kiara looks so downtrodden that I just have to say something. I NEED to talk to her. I use every bit of focus, every bit of determination and every bit of affection that I have for this child and concentrate on communicating just one word with her. I chant it over and over in my head, I scream it, spell it, picture how it looks written down. Finally I whisper it and somehow, that last one makes it through. Hey eyes open wide and for the first time since I began seeing her I see a glimpse of hope on her face as she hears me.

She whispers my own message back to me.

“Real.”

manage to hold the connection for long after communicating with her. I’m starting to think that it wasn’t shock that pushed me out of it last time, but exhaustion, or maybe depletion would be a better word. I lie in bed, curled up with Bellamy and my eyes are still shut. I’ve been sleeping so you would think I would feel at least a little rested, but I just feel empty. My head aches and somehow I’m more tired than I was before going to bed, which is really saying something because I was pretty damn tired. I force my eyes open a crack and I can see that it’s still dark. My eyes adjust a little and I can see the outline of Bellamy’s arm thrown over my waist. I don’t really know if I’m trying to wake him or if I just want the comfort of the contact, but I wriggle around a little until my arm is freed from under me and I lightly grip his hand. Bellamy stirs, snuggles in closer to

interactions with them, particularly with the Canine and Avian Alphas, I don’t really want to deal with them right now unless I have to. I blush a little as I think about how Bellamy k*ssed me before answering the door saying it was for luck. I did ask if I should be worried that they’re going to

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171–Perfume and progress

your old place, stuff like that. Now I mostly smell… well… Bellamy and here.

on you. So while you have your own natural scent, it’s going to be influenced by stuff like the soaps you use, the place you sleep, who you sleep with.” She winks at me and I roll my

sounds kind of creepy.” I complain.

adds to it. Bels probably has some

notice my scent on him or wouldn’t know it.” I point out. Megan shrugs.

balanced it will get. Either way, I doubt they’ll recognise it. They might know that he has been spending time with SOMEONE but they can’t prove anything, for all they know, he just changed products or something. Without comparing it to you they wouldn’t know it was you

definitely noticed that none of the Shifters tend to stop by here without an appointment. At very least they usually call ahead. Megan flushes red and she gestures for me to stay where I am