Strings of Fate

Cam 29- Dating and doubting

Harry has already started walking away when he realises that I haven’t given my usual immediate refusal. I’m just stuck. Would it be so bad if I said yes? I’m sure going out with him would be fun if today was anything to go by. Simon already thinks Harry and I are dating and being seen with him might encourage him to stay away from me. He certainly backed off when Harry turned up today. He didn’t even send any more texts. I doubt it will be long before Simon is harassing me again, but maybe if I went out with Harry publically he would back off? Or at very least my mother and grandmother might take a hint. It’s not really like it would be using Harry or leading him on right? He’s the one who keeps acting like we’re already together, and he was the first one to start this whole couple act. I’m sure he would agree if he knew anyway. It’s not leading him on if I do actually plan to go out with him, which I will. I can’t imagine that this relationship will last or really go anywhere, but I could give it a chance. It should last as long as I hold out and don’t sleep with him I bet. All I have to do is stay out of his bed and keep him out of mine. I mentally ignore the part of me making jokes about how there are options other than beds. I have clearly been spending too much time around Harry and his innuendos. Yet here I am, contemplating the idea of spending even MORE time with him. Ugh, I suspect Harry’s smug gloating is going to be unbearable though. With my decision made, I just need to tell him. But a nagging feeling of guilt somehow keeps me from speaking. Harry slows, dragging his feet and taking his time in walking away. He clears his throat.

“Did you not hear my question? I asked if you would go out with me. You can go ahead and reject me now. It feels wrong leaving before you’ve had the chance to properly turn me down. I need my daily dose of rejection.” He jokes, clearly feeling awkward as I sit and stare at him. I guess he’s the type who tries to fill awkward silences. Actually, usually I do that too. I’m a bartender, I’m usually good at talking to people. But usually it’s drunk strangers who don’t know me or really want anything more from me than a drink and a smile. They might flirt or even ask me out but they’re not actually offended by it when I turn them down because t

they don’t actually expect me to say yes. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever really said yes when someone has asked me out before. I was homeschooled and didn’t spend much time with anyone other than my family until recently. All my social skills have been developed behind the bar, meaning they are basically super shallow and are limited to small talk and drunk talk.

“Cam?” Harry takes a step back towards me.

“Are you alright? Is something wrong?” He asks cautiously.

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Cam 29–Dating and doubting

“Yes. No. I mean No. I mean yes. Ugh.” I run a hand through my hair and yank it through the tangled waves. Harry just looks confused.

“Come again?” He tilts his head. Yeah I can’t blame him. My answer was as clear as mud.

Also no I didn’t- not hear

rejected and Harry has made it pretty clear that he’s interested. Although I suppose I’m more concerned about long term rejection than being immediately turned down. Except… Now that I’m thinking about it, what if he DOES turn me down.

smug? Maybe he will actually just be excited. I think the only reaction I wasn’t prepared for was

Goodnight.” He turns to leave.

never seen him react to anything with less enthusiasm, ever.

doing his work quietly in the corner of my work room. He was

have to if you don’t want to.” I blurt out to his back. Harry whirls around to

you trying to take it back?” He demands, his mask of calm finally breaking.

I trail off. Totally confused. He’s usually so obvious, why did he have

think I’ve made it fairly clear what it is that

just didn’t seem… Happy… I thought you would react differently.” I admit. In

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Dating and doubting

around my back and pulls me close, threading his other hand into my hair and

I ask nervously. Trying to ignore my racing heart and suddenly weak knees.

He mutters into my hair. He holds me a second

back.