Strings of Fate

Strings of Fate

Cam 48- Guilt and goals

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Bonus

06:33

I try to think of the right thing to say to fix this. Should I just tell him that I love him? Would that even fix anything or just make it worse. I don’t think loving someone is a magical band aid that will make up for treating them poorly. I have seriously screwed this up. Harry is just so easy to get along with and so accepting, it’s hard to see sometimes that there are actually things that hurt his feelings. He might be a demonstrative person, and he’s been honest about his own feelings from day one, but for the most part, he hides how things bother him. He walks around pretending not to care about the assumptions people make about him or the things people say and sometimes I bet he convinces even himself that he doesn’t mind it. But he DOES have feelings and I have just trampled all over them.

“Harry… What you heard us saying… I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I didn’t mean it at all.” I awkwardly force out. Harry scoffs angrily.

“You mean you weren’t using me to drive Simon away?” he demands.

“Well… I was, but it wasn’t JUST that. You knew about my problem with Simon. You even. went along with it at first!” I point out, referring to when he initially told Simon that he and I are together.

“That was fake and we BOTH knew it. This… You let me think it was real. Think that I had something real for the first time in my life. But I guess I was the only one who thought that.” He scoffs the words and turns to leave again..

“It WAS real. I didn’t mean to lie.” I call after him desperately. Harry pauses and without turning back to me, sighs.

“So either it was all fake and you never cared, or it was real and you were so ashamed of it that you couldn’t even admit it to your friend. Is that supposed to make me feel better?” He asks bitterly. He’s on a roll now and keeps talking, whirling back to face me again.

“You know, I was trying so hard. I didn’t want to be dishonest about my feelings or cause any confusion. I didn’t want to make the same mistake that Ryann did and be so scared of my future that I hurt someone. But now I see I’m far more like Simon. I got carried away with my own feelings and didn’t stop to actually confirm that the girl likes me before forcing my affection and company on her. You’ve implied many times that I’m someone who uses women

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48- Guilt and goals

are such a hypocrite. At least the women I slept with knew

used me. I’ve been honest from the start, I’ve NEVER manipulated you.” He snarls the final words. Even now, I can feel a wave of

is as constant as you are. I wanted to dismiss it, but how can I trust that? With your magic, you could have ANYONE so why would I believe you would want to waste your time with me?” I’m crying. When did I start crying? Why am I yelling? I wanted to make up with Harry, not yell at him. I didn’t realise I was so angry about his magic, I thought that I had accepted it. It seems like I haven’t really. Still, I immediately regret

quiet.

nothing of me and you have no idea how my magic

You never asked. That should have clued me

asked questions. I’m done wasting my time with this. You claim I’m all about manipulation and physical relationships. But

and actual emotion better than an Incubus? But it doesn’t matter. You don’t

I’m done.” Without another word,

I want to stop him, but I feel like anything I : will make it worse. He’s partially right. I didn’t trust him completely. With my safety yes, but with my heart? My happiness? I’ve been waiting for this to end from day one

struggling to believe

cool night air until Cora approaches me and gently drops

I don’t think you can work like this. I can close up tonight.” She says gently, her voice full of sympathy. I nod mindlessly.

her in a monotone. I’m about to leave but Cora catches

I said. I should have thought it through.” She

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