Tangled

162

162

162 Ava: Mom (II)

As we enter the hospital, the sterile scent of disinfectant and the hushed whispers of staff and visitors envelop us. Selene, ever attuned to my emotions, presses against my leg, offering her silent support. I reac

A few steps in, a security guard takes notice of Selene and frowns. "I'm sorry, but dogs aren't allowed inside the hospital premises."

Vanessa steps forward, her voice calm and authoritative. "This is a service dog. She's with us."

The guard glances at me, then at our bodyguards-

dressed in suits, with sunglasses, and essentially a walking cliche. His expression turns guarded and he waves us on. "Of course, my apologies. Please go ahead."

Relieved, I glance down at Selene, only to find her prancing alongside me, head high. Hey, you know service dogs aren't supposed to strut like show dogs, right?

She huffs, but stops her front-leg flicking prance.

Vanessa seems to know where to go as she navigates the maze of

corridors and several random sets of elevators.

With each step, the knot in my stomach tightens, anticipation and dread intertwined. Grateful for Vanessa's presence, I follow behind, digging my fingers into Selene's fur for comfort. Remember, she can't do anything to you, Selene whispers in my head.

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1 G

182 Ava Momin

The door to my mother's room is as mundane as any other. Brown. Silver handle. A note on the door asking to contact the nurse

before drawing labs.

Nothing that says a terrible person resides within and to beware of your heart.

My hand hovers over the handle as my heart beats loudly in my ears. Vanessa places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Remember, Ava," she murmurs into my ear, "you are in control now. Your mother's power over you exists only in the past. You are stronger than you know."

Inod without glancing at her, closing my eyes and drawing in a deep, slow breath..

from the amount of oxygen I take in and I hold it for ten seconds before letting it

I can do this.

Selene and Vanessa, I push

is dimly lit, the beeping of machines and

and drawn. The sight of her, so vulnerable and fragile, sends a pang of unexpected emotion through

can be as warm as a summer lake or as frigid as a winter

like she's dead

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The Mom

approach the bed slowly, my footsteps echoing in the stillness. Selene follows close behind, her presence

lifeless it

whisper, my voice cracking with emotion. "It's me,

I swallow hard, fighting

I hate her.

I hate this woman.

with

wonder if it would hurt this much.

she was fighting for her life from

It's

as I pull a chair up to the side of my mother's hospital bed. Plastic scrapes against the linoleum floor, harsh in the stillness of the room. Settling into it, I clasp

to see how

my movements with an unsettling intensity. Despite the dullness

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316

fierce

to come? 1sk, my voice barely above a whisper. The question hangs in the air between

simply stares at me, her expression unreadable. Then, slowly, she lifts a hand from the

out towards my face. It's a surreal moment, one that seems to

A

wants to recoil, to pull away from her touch, but another part-the part that still yearns for a mother's love-

Her fingers draw closer.

the moment I've craved for

need for acceptance. For a single, shining moment, I allow myself

past is left in the

fingertips brush against my cheek, and I lean into the touch, my eyes

and power of a healthy person, but the impact is no less devastating. My eyes fly

17.56

her in shock, my check stinging more from the emotional blow