Tangled

173

173

173 Ava: Hard Truths

Vanessa sighs, her hand warm and gentle against my back, rubbing in soothing circles. "Ava, understand that you can be wrong, even when you're right. Or right, even when you're wrong." A laugh bubbles up, hysterical and wild. "That makes no sense."

"You chafe under his protection. You feel caged, right?"

A quick nod. Of course. That much is obvious.

"It's okay to feel that way. It's normal, even. But is Lucas wrong to keep your safety in consideration?"

Selene sighs, bumping her head against my legs, and I tug at one of her ears. "No, of course not."

"The party was a terrible misfortune. None of us expected a

vampire attack on pack lands. For something like this to happen..." Her words trail off, and she glances away. "I don't even know how long it's been. We knew Blackwood was working with the Unregistered in some way, but to have this level of alliance is unheard of."

Hunching my shoulders, I mutter, "I never would have gone, if I'd known."

"I know." The gentle rubbing never ceases. "And Lucas didn't blame you. He doesn't blame you. He blames himself."

"But he didn't do anything wrong. It was me." Guilt gnaws at me. "I was the one who bothered him about the guards. About my freedom. I pushed to go to the party. Everything was because of

17:42

173 Ava: Hard Truths

1. me. The vampire wanted me, and now Lisa's gone."

Resting my forehead on my knees, I whisper, "I'm a plague to

everyone who cares about me. So many people are dead, and even Lisa..."

"A defeatist attitude isn't going to help you, Ava." The back rubs stop as Vanessa gets off the bed, her voice firming. "The time for wallowing is long past. You've grown stronger, and you're no longer the flinching massacre happened. Neither you or Lucas knew it would happen. It's a terrible and unfortunate situation."

"But it's my fault. What am I supposed to do?" Turning my head so my cheek is against my knees, I watch Vanessa as she stands in front of me. "It's my fault. I should have just sat at home and kept my mouths danger..."

Vanessa stares at me, one brow raised, as my words trail off.

can tell in her

piercing gaze holds me captive, demanding

in life? To go to the party without guards, risking everything for a taste of freedom, or to stay locked away in your apartment, watched at all times like a p I remain silent, my tongue

when she

17:42

173 Ava: Hard Truths

remain unwavering. "Was there no middle ground, Ava? No way to get what you wanted while staying within the boundaries of reasonable

around in my skull, colliding with the unyielding walls of my stubborn resolve. I want to argue, to

obvious, but I shy away from it in my mind. Selene's presence brushes against me, a reminder of her presence. Perhaps I pushed too hard as well, little wolf. Her voice is more

sitting position, feeling too childish in how I'm moping,

the few supports in my world. So I take a deep breath and think, letting her words soak in, pushing Lucas and his anger far from my mind. "Maybe there was another way. But at the time, it

excuse sounds pathetic, even to

and white, Ava. It's a tapestry woven with countless shades of gray. Do you believe everything

course not." The answer comes easily, a truth I've always know but somehow

17:42

123 Ava Hard Truths

choices in such stark contrasts? Why do you see only the extremes, without considering the possibilities that lie between?" Her question hangs in the air,

Easier to believe I have no choice, that I'm backed into a

I know there were other options, other paths I could have taken. Compromises I could have made, if

prove my independence than

tearing at my throat. "Scared of losing myself, of being suffocated by the constant surveillance and control. I wanted to prove that I could make my own choices, that I'm r Vanessa grabs my hand in hers, the warmth of her grasp traveling up my arm and into

Selene insists, with the softest whine. You are much

strong," Vanessa echoes.

weakness. That doesn't mean

on v

123 Ae Yard Trich

your boundaries. And it doesn't mean

for freedom, for autonomy, is a powerful thing. But it's important to remember I nod, blinking back

flicker of sadness crosses her face. "Our alpha will always c of those lives on his soul, because his decisions led to

Like me.

Only thinking of Lisa.

have been more careful,

me. "What do you think you should

you to feel. Not on

as my phone buzzes.

17:42