The Accidental Wife by Sara Islam

Chapter 139

"How are you feeling, Rosie?" my therapist asks me. She always asks me this question. Usually, I can interpret my feelings into words, but today, I can't do it. I don't know how to explain to her that I have never felt this confused in my entire life. puzzled and perplexed. I thought when I first got out of the accident that I had reached the ultimate level of confusion, but I guess what I'm feeling now is way more confusing." I do my best to express how I'm feeling. "What's making you confused?" she asks and I take a deep breath.

"I'm

"Silas has been hanging out with another girl," I start, looking at her for a second before looking down again. "I'm not supposed to feel jealous or upset, but... I do." I raise my head to look at her again.

"But didn't you say that you weren't sure of your feelings for him?" she wonders and I nod. "Then why do you feel jealous?"

"I think I made a terrible mistake." I sniff, trying to prevent myself from crying even though she has made it pretty clear that this is a safe place for me to cry. "Leaving Silas was one of the worst mistakes of my life, and I hate that it took me seeing him with another girl to realize that." do you want to do?" she asks.

"And

what

""What I Why can't what I want

I to do is knock on his door and apologize. I want to tell him that I want to be with him again and I want to give us a genuine chance this time, but I can't do that." My tears betray me as they roll down my cheeks. 't you do do that?" She sets her pen down as she looks at me.

moment before my eyes move to the plant placed in one of the corners I tilt my head back, staring at the plain ceiling for a moment before my eyes move to the plant placed in one of the corners of the room. I have always like the décor of her office. It makes me feel at ease and and comfortable. "Because I hurt him enough and it doesn't feel right to jump back into his life once he is starting to move on. What kind of person would I be? I can't do that to Sillas. He doesn't deserve that at all. I want him happy and if...if his happiness means that he should be away I stay away from him.

I don't want to stay away from him. When he held me in the hallway after I told him I remembered something, I wanted to hold onto him as long as I could. I didn't want him to let me go.

"Sometimes, things don't go our way in life, Rosie, and I know that it's hard, but we need to learn to accept whatever happens. We're not in control of everything," my therapist tells me and I wipe my tears.

trying to calm "The thing is, I was in control once, but I lost it because of my stupidity," a sob escapes me even though I'm trying

You

reality," she tells me. Her tone is soft but her words are bullets penetrating

new and... guess what? Silas is part of it too. When I woke up with that memory in my head, the first thing I did was rush to his place. I had this image in my head I thought he was going to hug me tightly, and celebrate

I sadly smile when I remember his reaction. "I said something to him and he told me that Maisie wasn't his girlfriend. I'm not gonna lie, I was relieved, but... I have a feeling that it's only a matter of time." "So if she's not his girlfriend, what's stopping you?" she wonders,

just walk into his life and tell him I want him back and I have a boyfriend... I need to break up with him. I don't feel comfortable in our relationship, but I can't just go back to Silas

don't really trust Everest, so maybe when you break up with him make sure that you have somebody you trust in the same place as you or at least close to you," my therapist suggests. The first person who comes to my mind is Šilas, but I don't want to bring him into this I can easily ask my dad. He is going to be there for me in a heartbeat, but I don't want to bring my parents into this either. When I told them I started dating Everest, they weren't thrilled, but they said that as long as I was happy, they were happy for me. I wasn't happy when I told them and I'm not happy now. I haven't been happy in a

I

in a while, but I know that he's a great friend.

!

do that. Better safe than sorry." I smile

I

yourself, but not inside your apartment. I want you to go out and do something

place, I call Kendall to catch up with her. I haven't spoken to her in a week and that hasn't been the case

need to stop comparing my life now with how it once was before. I need to

anymore.

head to the supermarket to get a few things I need. I don't know why fate loves playing games with me, but while I'm filling

understand why I always bump into him. It's like there's

he cheerfully says when he notices me. Is that all that

at him, but my smile

asks, probably sensing with his inner radar that something is wrong. hate that he knows me so well. "Nothing. I just had a session with my therapist and it was a heavy one,"