The Accidental Wife by Sara Islam

Chapter 139

"How are you feeling, Rosie?" my therapist asks me. She always asks me this question. Usually, I can interpret my feelings into words, but today, I can't do it. I don't know how to explain to her that I have never felt this confused in my entire life. puzzled and perplexed. I thought when I first got out of the accident that I had reached the ultimate level of confusion, but I guess what I'm feeling now is way more confusing." I do my best to express how I'm feeling. "What's making you confused?" she asks and I take a deep breath.

"I'm

"Silas has been hanging out with another girl," I start, looking at her for a second before looking down again. "I'm not supposed to feel jealous or upset, but... I do." I raise my head to look at her again.

"But didn't you say that you weren't sure of your feelings for him?" she wonders and I nod. "Then why do you feel jealous?"

"I think I made a terrible mistake." I sniff, trying to prevent myself from crying even though she has made it pretty clear that this is a safe place for me to cry. "Leaving Silas was one of the worst mistakes of my life, and I hate that it took me seeing him with another girl to realize that." do you want to do?" she asks.

"And

what

""What I Why can't what I want

I to do is knock on his door and apologize. I want to tell him that I want to be with him again and I want to give us a genuine chance this time, but I can't do that." My tears betray me as they roll down my cheeks. 't you do do that?" She sets her pen down as she looks at me.

moment before my eyes move to the plant placed in one of the corners I tilt my head back, staring at the plain ceiling for a moment before my eyes move to the plant placed in one of the corners of the room. I have always like the décor of her office. It makes me feel at ease and and comfortable. "Because I hurt him enough and it doesn't feel right to jump back into his life once he is starting to move on. What kind of person would I be? I can't do that to Sillas. He doesn't deserve that at all. I want him happy and if...if his happiness means that he should be away I stay away from him.

I don't want to stay away from him. When he held me in the hallway after I told him I remembered something, I wanted to hold onto him as long as I could. I didn't want him to let me go.

"Sometimes, things don't go our way in life, Rosie, and I know that it's hard, but we need to learn to accept whatever happens. We're not in control of everything," my therapist tells me and I wipe my tears.

I was in control once, but I lost it

You

to work on now is come to terms with your new reality," she tells me. Her

head I thought he was going to hug me tightly, and celebrate with me,

I remember his reaction. "I said something to him and he told me that Maisie wasn't his girlfriend. I'm not gonna lie,

want him back and I have a boyfriend... I need to break up with him. I don't feel comfortable in our

be like that." I rub my forehead. I don't know when things may calm down, but I really can't take it anymore. "Listen, Rosie. I I don't really trust Everest, so maybe when

I

talked to Knox in a while, but I know that he's a great friend. He makes Sabrina happy and

!

Better safe than sorry." I smile a little. "What do

I

yourself, but not inside your apartment. I want you to go out and do something you love. When you come back, write down how you felt throughout the day," she replies and

Kendall to catch up with her. I

comparing my life now with how it once was before. I need to accept

anymore.

I head to the supermarket to get a few things I need. I don't know why fate loves playing games with me, but while I'm filling my

It's

neighbor," he cheerfully says when he notices me. Is that all that I am

Silas." I smile at him, but my smile doesn't reach

just had a session with my therapist and it was a heavy one,"